What do you do when you get no moral support?

[tigerlilly01]

I FINALLY get to do what I have always wanted to do ... stay home and run a small business from home.  I had to quit because of a back injury and have been trying for over a year to get disability.  I started sewing a little and making things and I LOVE to do this but my hubby is very discouraging and says my priorities are not where they should be and I am slacking in my household duties because there was dust on top of the fridge!  I keep a very clean home and run the vacuum cleaner almost every day.  I dust 2 or 3 times a week and keep the clothes washed up and have a big meal on the table every night.  I'm very discouraged. 

[diala84]

I really think your husband is expecting too much out of you considering you have a back injury. You need to tell him how you are feeling and that you feel you can better contribute to the house if you are able to bring in some money rather than hurting yourself trying to meet certain expectations of how the house is to be kept. Do you have any friends or family that can be on your side on all of this. Maybe finding others who support you will help you find a happy medium for you and your family.

[franlee46]

I FINALLY get to do what I have always wanted to do ... stay home and run a small business from home.  I had to quit because of a back injury and have been trying for over a year to get disability.  I started sewing a little and making things and I LOVE to do this but my hubby is very discouraging and says my priorities are not where they should be and I am slacking in my household duties because there was dust on top of the fridge!  I keep a very clean home and run the vacuum cleaner almost every day.  I dust 2 or 3 times a week and keep the clothes washed up and have a big meal on the table every night.  I'm very discouraged. 

Well your hubby needs to get a grip having a back injury is not fun I was injured in a car accident and was out of work when I went back to work limited duties which were spelled out my peers thought it was all a fake needless to say I re-injured myself and was out even longer with lots of therapy so tell hubby to suck it up a little dust never hurt any one continue your sewing and see if you can sell anything then maybe hubby will see that you are not slacking off

[loriecampbell]

Lilly; some people really don't get it. I had similar situation with my husband (he's not overly fanatic about spotless house though. It was more on comments he would make etc.) I basically told him how I felt and held absolutely nothing back. Told him what I was going through emotionally and told him what I thought he was doing wrong.

The way my personality is I'd tell him if he didn't like the cleaning hire a cleaning person or do it himself...i'm doing the best I can. I've told my husband I will have peace and if it means leaving him...so be it. I've put years into my marriage but will leave if certain things don't change. I don't know your situation entirely and am not advocating divorce but sometimes you do what ya gotta do.

[remediagirl]

Sounds like maybe your hubby is a little jealous? Just talk it out. Communication is always the key I have found in my 21 years of marriage.

[angsilva2000]

I would get mad if i got no moral support

[animikokala]

Tell him if he wants it done to his specifications he can damn well do it himself. 

Remind him that you have an injury that makes it more difficult to do chores around the house, so it won't be the same as it used to be.  Be sure to add that him doing simple things that may be more difficult for you right now (such as, say, dusting the top of the fridge) would be very helpful. 

Besides, no one person in a relationship should have all the "household duties".  Did you do them all when you were working as well?  If so, he's being a sexist pig!   

[Tresbn00]

There may be a little jealousy over your new-found freedom.  Certain generations embrace the thought of working for the man and hoping that their job will be there for a good, long time.  Perhaps because you are going against the grain of what your generation, and husband, believes he is out  of sorts.  You may have been married for a long time (sounds like it) and your lack of dependence on him is scary so he starts to nitpick the details.  In either case I would try and communicate with him.  Maybe giving him some small duty in your enterprise will make the adjustment easier.