Not on the same page as parents

[BK_Adores_Chase]

so with my 3 year old I think he should eat what everyone else is eating, and I don't let him do anything until his food is gone, even if that means he has to sit there for hours.  It's not like I'm feeding him dirt and I give him proper portion sizes, but when my fiance gets home he gives him whatever he wants, especially if I've given our son something my fiance wouldn't eat himself.  He will say, "I don't blame him, that's nasty" but I think our son should have an open mind and my fiance also says, "if you give him something he likes, he will eat it."  YEAH, if I did that I kid you not that child would live on peanut butter jelly sandwiches.  I feel like when my fiance gets home from work my son turns into a monkey and I am afraid to do my normal routines because my fiance usually goes against me.  Lately I've been saying no more, if there's to be respect in the house I need to inforce the same rules regardless of whether or not my fiance is home, but time-outs, for example, don't go well when he is home.  My rules are this:  a minute per year, do not get out of the seat and do not talk (if he is talking to himself I never mind it but if he tries to talk to my fiance or I I restart the timer) and my fiance said I'm an evil parent and his mom/dad never did that to him.  I keep telling him to back me up but he will start talking to our son while he's in time out -- he will say, "buddy stop talking or you will be there all day" it's like HELLO did you not hear me say don't talk to him (like I've said before I'm a big Super Nanny fan and use a lot of her techniques).  And sometimes if my fiance is upset with me he will whisper to our son, "Tell Mom ____ (something rude/mean)" it's so horrible I just feel like he is teaching our son wrong I just want a partner who is on the same page as me...

[LenoraMinogue]

It's important for parents to present a united front to a child. Your fiance may mean well, but he's contributing to the problem by giving the child whatever he wants when he gets home, because your child is smart enough to know if he just waits, he'll get what he wants. I'm not exactly sure what you're giving your child for meals, but maybe there is room for some compromise? Perhaps there are ways to include food he enjoys more but is still a little healthy. You could also give him a very small treat if he makes an effort to eat his food, maybe get a bunch of cheap toys, put them into a grab bag, and let him choose a toy out of there sometime. Good luck!

[Annella]

You and your Fiance need to get on the same page because children learn very early (and quickly) how to play the authority figures against each other. Don't be fooled by the angelic face, under that skin is a kid that wants their own way and will be unscrupulous to get it.

Your Fiance not backing you up is both cruel and demeaning to you as a parent and a woman. This has to stop immediately before a pattern develops and you are cut out of the discipline all together. Regardless of the consequences, you have to set the boundaries where your child is concerned. Get some counseling in this area. If your Fiance refuses, then rethink the option of marriage with this individual.