The economy is so bad that...

[dreamyxo]

Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.

I get pre-declined credit cards in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six can't leave the light on for you anymore.

A picture is now worth only 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security,
retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

[ancmetro]

    I know it is really bad. Look at it this way: It could be worse!

[mommagoes]

this was so hilarious! i especially like the motel 6 one considering both of my parents, my husband, my sister  and myself have all worked there and have all made the same observation.

of course, i am sure there are many people that will not see the humor in this because they are truly affected by this economic crisis. my family has been fortunate enough to have not been affected by it any more than the slightly higher prices on gas, food, etc, so we can still laugh at these jokes

[luvh8tragedy87]

I got a kick out of the Mormon one. I live in Utah. They were all pretty good, nice to have a little chuckle.

[biowf]

You are right, the economy is bad.  I am still driving my 12 years old car.  Pray that it will not break down.

[mrstina08]

You are so funny. I enjoyed and needed to laugh. The economy is very bad. I think it may get worse.

[mattymatt79]

You are so funny. I enjoyed and needed to laugh. The economy is very bad. I think it may get worse.

Oh it's going to get worse... Much much worse. The banks are still making millions upon millions a year and we as a society will not see growth until the phrase "too big to fail" is removed from our vocabulary.

[lvstephanie]

... a bird in the hand is only worth one in the bush.

... Snoop Dogg is only eating regular brownies.

... the CEO of WalMart has to shop at WalMart.

... the rapper is now known as 10 Cent.

...  stocks for Matchbox Cars are trading higher than Chevy's.

... mothers in China are telling their kids "Finish your broccoli! Don't you know there are kids starving in the US?!"

... Donald Trump fired himself.

... parents with ADHD children are told that the problem is that their kids can't afford to pay attention.

... Wall Street is thinking of ending the DOW with an "N".

... Obama's slogan is now "Hope and Spare Change"

[kay7]

Most of those were really funny & I needed that.  We are taking a trip this weekend that will require a fill-up and it may be our last one for a very long time with the price of gas being what it is. 

[Elizabethar]

What's sad is most of this is true.

[jabkman]

nice my family has had to drive to connecticut to visit my stepfamily instead of flying and driving an entire day sucks

[tech2d]

Ha! Ha!

[Annella]

What is so bad is Washington telling everyone that the economy is recovering nicely.......uh, where?  If it's one thing I can't stand is to be lied to.  We're in trouble folks, and it's not getting better. We have some bumpy rides ahead. Not trying to be a naysayer.....just telling the truth.

[RMWorld]

 
Good Stuff! The truth is funny sometimes isn't it? Laughter can help with any difficult situation in life. Don't be afraid to laugh.  The economy truly sucks and I don't see it getting better any time soon.... have you heard them mention that gas should be $5/gall by this time next year? How the **** am I goona be able to afford that? (...fake laugh...lol...)

[ljNana]

As John Travolta said in 'Michael', "you gott laugh"!  Well, thanks for the laugh, but oh how I've cried, but I still have hope and faith.

I guess we'll all have to get horses.  Can you see us going 65 miles per hour tryin' to get to work.  What about SS, are we still gonna pay in even though we will soon see the effects of it drying up? 

Also, did you know that it's being discussed as to whether or not in the future we can deduct interest from home mortgages?  What in the heck next?