Lost my job after 10 years..now i feel so lost,any advice?

[sgluckadoo]

I am a widow of 3 children and lost my job last year and lost my husband 2 years before that, now i feel so empty and lost im not sure how to regain the strength to pick myself up on the right track agian. Im trying to stay strong minded for my children but the truth is, im sooo scared of how i will ever be able to provide once my unemployment runs out and I have no babysitter. I need some good realistic,helpful advice. thanx.

I have no advice to offer, but wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and hope things improve.

[sisi1178]

I hope you find soon a job, I know is hard to keep the hope because time goes so fast but keep it up! and wish you luck!

[sandersdebt]

I didn't have the children but I know how hard it is to get going after losing someone you love and had planned to be with the rest of your life. You have probably done some of the following but just in case.

1. File for Social Security for the children and yourself.
2. Meet with a grief support group - my local hospital had a free one that meet once a week for 6 weeks. I did not think it would help, but looking back I know it helped me alot.
3. If you can't handle a full/part time job or even looking for one, then volunteer 1 hr a week in each of your children's classes. When you promise your children you are more likely to follow thru.
4. At the end of every day write down one thing that you are going to do the next day. ie: go for a walk, clean the refrigerator, call a friend that you have not talked to in awhile. Place in on post-it notes all over the house including on the front of the TV and refrigerator. If you do not complete it, do not beat yourself up, just do it the next day.

I learned that its baby steps not great leaps. You have to make a new normal, not the one you want but the one you have. One day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time maybe all you can handle. You will survive because the children need you. It's been 7 1/2 year and now rarely but sometimes I go back to the baby steps for just and hour or two.

[sarabtrayior]

Good luck finding new employment that is not easy in these tough economic times... I'm unable to work, however, when I tried to work I couldn't find a job... so Good luck again, and depression is horrible and sometimes you may need a different medication...

[lynnc35]

I tell you I have been in this place more than once, and it is hard, because you cannot see the answers right here in front of you, and there doesn't seem to be any, but I tell you after being here, I have learned God is not going to let you go without, He will help you and those children. I lost my job more than once, my husband has left me, but I have always turned to God, and said whats next, I am trusting in you because I have no answers myself, God will be there for you, although we can't see what He has planned because in our eyes there doesn't seem to be anything, God sees a bigger picture for you, and a bigger plan, put your trust in Him, and go to Him, and ask Him to take you where He wants to lead you, then wait and He will take care of you.
I was on unemployment after losing a really good job back in may, my husband left me, I kept up hope, kept up faith, and kept talking to God, now I have another job, actually helping disabled find work at the Goodwill. So ask God what He wants you to do, He will lead you.

[cubarican210]

Thanx for the advice...I just cant seem to motivate myself..I start things then never keep it up as if my interest in things just deminish. I know i probablly should seek a doctors advice but i really dont want to be put on depression medication since the last one i tried just made things worse. Wish i had a magic wand that would just get me back to my normal self agian. Im 29 and i feel like its too late for me to go back to school. 

Sweetheart, you have the biggest motivation in the world and they are your children. I'm 28 years old and we're both still young so school is definitely an option for you. I've seen 40 year olds taking classes to better their education and to be prepared for better jobs. Don't get discouraged. As far as daycare there are government agencies that can help you find a great daycare for your children while you go to school or while you're trying to find a new job. I know it's easier said than done but you're not the first and you're not the last that this situation has happened to. I'm pretty sure there are hundreds of women just like you going through the same thing. You're not alone in this. I'm going to tell you something my art teacher once told me, "Never say the words 'I can't', eliminate those words from your vocabulary because you can and you will succeed in everything that you set your mind to." Also, remember that the mind is very powerful. I suggest you write all your goals on a piece of paper and when you have completed one cross it off the list. With each goal accomplished you will feel so much better and much more confident in yourself. I hope my advice helped you and good luck in finding a job. 

[Storm61115]

my man lost his job after 11 years too. he felt lost too. he's laid off again and he ahtes being home.

[g0ku4life]

I'm sorry to hear that you all are going through tough times...hopefully all of this will get better for everyone in the future.