Is something wrong with the way I think?

[ngorecki]

I don't think you're wrong on that.

[vickysue]

I am so grateful that my sons and I  always had time for each other. When my  youngest son passed away a few days after turning 18, I thought  I was going to so all alone. but  no the oldest boy stepped up and if he couldn't be  with me he was always calling me, he lived 400 miles away. Even after he got married he always took time to be  with me or talk on the phone.  Now that he has passed away I really  miss him even after 18 years. But so grateful we had a loving relationship.  My daughter-in-law is always in contact with me  even though she has  married a  great young man and has been  for 7 years now she is still  like a daughter  to me and always tells me she loves me after all of these years.  My suggestion is  you call your son and invite him out to lunch on his lunch break and talk with him.

[michele2042]

I agree with everyone that there is nothing wrong with your thinking or desire to spend time alone with your son.  It's perfectly natural.   The one thing I would be cautious about is you have now expressed your desire to your son, I wouldn't push it, especially since he didn't seem to want to do it.  I would be concerned he wouldn't want to come over at all anymore if the issue caused problems.   I would rather see him with his girlfriend than not at all.

[aflyingmonkey]

Well he is a couple now... a family even... in his mind, so it would seem a betrayal almost to go places & not to take his "family" with him.  Imagine not having your family wanted to go with you, & then being expected to go somewhere without them.   I think if you want alone time with him that time has passed & the alone time would be just on the phone, or facetime/skype.   Just part of growing up & forming adult relationships/families.

[countrygirl12]

Well he is a couple now... a family even... in his mind, so it would seem a betrayal almost to go places & not to take his "family" with him.  Imagine not having your family wanted to go with you, & then being expected to go somewhere without them.   I think if you want alone time with him that time has passed & the alone time would be just on the phone, or facetime/skype.   Just part of growing up & forming adult relationships/families.

Why?  You never ever ever go any where without your spouse?  He isn't married.  It is a girl friend who may not even be around in a couple months.

[aflyingmonkey]

Well he is a couple now... a family even... in his mind, so it would seem a betrayal almost to go places & not to take his "family" with him.  Imagine not having your family wanted to go with you, & then being expected to go somewhere without them.   I think if you want alone time with him that time has passed & the alone time would be just on the phone, or facetime/skype.   Just part of growing up & forming adult relationships/families.

Why?  You never ever ever go any where without your spouse?  He isn't married.  It is a girl friend who may not even be around in a couple months.

He lives with her & her daughter, if I'm not mistaken.  I've never been asked to not accompany my husband to my in-laws house because his mother wanted to spend alone time with him.... nope. 
 
I have a young cousin who has been living with his girlfriend for over 5 years, his grandmother, who is quite well off, offered to fly him out for Thanksgiving but not the girlfriend... of course, he didn't come.... why would he leave the person he's living his life with? 

[betlynjua]

Thank you all for your answers - at least I feel better that I am not looking at this wrong. I take the three of them out frequently for dinner but I think his girlfriend is very insecure however I am 65 and I'm not gonna be here forever.  Those of you who said turn it over to God gave good advise there is little we can do on our own.

You are not being unreasonable at all.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you think.  Maybe there is something wrong with the way others in the family think. In fact, it is perfectly reasonable to ask what I believe is a simple favor. 

Insecure girlfriend?  Give me 10 minutes with her and I will tell her what insecurity is all about.

[countrygirl12]

Well he is a couple now... a family even... in his mind, so it would seem a betrayal almost to go places & not to take his "family" with him.  Imagine not having your family wanted to go with you, & then being expected to go somewhere without them.   I think if you want alone time with him that time has passed & the alone time would be just on the phone, or facetime/skype.   Just part of growing up & forming adult relationships/families.

Why?  You never ever ever go any where without your spouse?  He isn't married.  It is a girl friend who may not even be around in a couple months.

He lives with her & her daughter, if I'm not mistaken.  I've never been asked to not accompany my husband to my in-laws house because his mother wanted to spend alone time with him.... nope. 
 
I have a young cousin who has been living with his girlfriend for over 5 years, his grandmother, who is quite well off, offered to fly him out for Thanksgiving but not the girlfriend... of course, he didn't come.... why would he leave the person he's living his life with? 

She isn't asking him to move in with her and leave the girlfriend.  Just come for a visit without her.  That isn't too much to ask.  Esp if the girlfriend is a problem.  I was thinking from past conversations she wasn't too friendly or the kid was unruly or something.  Either way, maybe she wants to talk to him about personal stuff. 

I would be willing to bet she goes shopping without him.  There is a time when he could go and not take her.  If I were dating and my boyfriend wanted to go visit his parents one or both I would understand and not have to horn in and go as well.

[Yukichan77]

No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you think! You are totally right, he should be kind enough to come around without her, even if only occasionally.

[cateyes1]

There is NOTHING wrong for wanting to spend some alone time with your son !!