what are your feelings

[aggie49]

i have had many thoughts on bullying i do not like it and i told my kids to stand up for others that are being bullied  and if they are being bullied to let me no because i will not stand for it  i feel parents need to teach there kids not to be bullies

[ancmetro]

       Walk away from bullies...it is that simple.

[Catwomanj10]

May 17, 2016

Hi Aggie49 and everyone else out in Fusion Cash World:

What do I think about bullying?  Yeah, it can happen.  And, no.....I agree with you that no one should put up with it.
And, yes,......I think that children, as well as, some adults need to be taught to stand up for themselves.
if they are getting harassed and or bullied.

I, basically, learned from a priest when I used to be Catholic.........that ones who bully others usually have low self esteem and the best thing to do according to this priest that I talked to one day in the confession booth about myself getting bullied is to pray for these people........and to, of course, ignore them, as much as possible.

But, sometimes, we do need to speak up and let them know that we will not tolerate them bullying us.
One example comes to my mind, actually two examples.

The first example was a woman at the church that my husband Mario attends.
This woman came up and just started harrassing me about keeping the bathroom clean and makking sure that trhe children were supervised and whatever while they used the bathroom and there's a lot more to it then that.
But, the bottom line is that baWesically this woman was shouting me down and not being very respectful towards me when she told me about keeping a vigil on the children who went to the bathroom.
To make a long story short,  this one Sunday right before the church service started, I was in the Foyeh minding my own businss and her husband was there and she happen to come along........and I casually mentioned the fact that the women's bathroom was not clean and that it needed toilet paper. 

And, I made a simple, polite request for toilet paper.  And this woman went belligereant on me and shourted, "Here Susan, you want toilet paper.  take it from my hands and you put it in there."

And then after she shouted out her orders to mje, she walked away from me and kind of moved her hips from side to side sort of showing off is what she was doing.

And, the sad part about all of this is that she shouted at me in front of everyone.  So, of course, this got me angry.

[Catwomanj10]

May 17, 2016

Hi Angie49  and everyone else out in Fusion cash World.

As I was saying, "This woman's disrespect towards me made me very angry."
And, especially, since I had gone to church to worship God and not to get mistreated by one in the church.
And, not to mention the fact that the bathroom needed toilet paper.  A simple request right?
Apparently, this woman didn't feel that way about my request.
And, as she walked away, she said out loud so that everyone could hear her, "Susan you can help clean the bathroom. because it's everyone's job."

At that point, I had had enough with this woman's attitude towards me not only about the women's bathroom and the way that i worked with the children of the church, but also with her treatment towards me and one of our tennant's son whom one day she had yanked his arm and yelled at him, "Come here!   And apologize to my children!"

And, for the latter part of picking on one of me an my husband's tennat's son I blew up and yelled at her, "Hey Janet (this is not her real name)  why don't you give me some toilet paper so that I can help you put it inside thw women's bathroom instead of yelling at me, insulting me in front of others, and just walking away?" 

"That is just so rude."  "And, unacceptable behavior on your part towards me."  At that point, she started to argue again about me not cleaning the bathroom."

So< i responded, "You know what Janet,?"  "all you do is complain to me about this women's bathroom.......and yet you don't even clean it up yourself."  "And, if you do clean it up you do a lousy job of cleaning it up!"

ant responded, "I do not!"  and then added, "It's everyone's job toI  clean the women's bathroom."  "This church belongs to everyone!"
.   
At the point, because of the fact that I had gotten harassed many times by this woman and to get harrassed by her again and especially what was suppose to be the Lord's day of worship; I blew up and yelled at her, "No Janet, it's not my job to clean the bathroom,  it''s your job, not mine, because you live here, I don't."

And, what's more, I offered to help you, but what did you do?  You shoved some toilet paper in my face, and shouted at me to "Ok Susan come and get it!"  "So you know what?"  "You go clean the bathroom because that's your job, not mine    at this point I wish I would have added, "And, make sure you do a good job of doing it too and make sure you include the toilet paper, as well!"

Anyways, our pastor came in at the time that the shouting match was going on and his response to me was, "Man, I don't need this."

And, I said, "You know what Pastor?"  "I agree with you."  "I don't need this either!"  c'Can I talk with you please and give you my side of the story?"

So, I basically had to share with him that this woman had been harrassing me when all I did was to make a simple request about getting toilet paper for the woman's bathroom and I also shared with him that this woman had not only yelled at me in front of everyone, but that she had waved the toilet paper in my face and yelled at me to "Come get it" 

So, I asked the Pastor to have a talk with her so that I would not have to go through this type of incident ever again at this church.

So, he agreed and after that this woman avoided me at all costs. 

In fact, one day I even wanted to talk with her to try to befriend her.......to try to get rid of the "hostility" in the air when she was around, but all she did was to literally run away from me and she evern hid herself and or curled herself up into a ball and yelled at me, "No, no go away."

So, my response to her was, "Janet, we can talk about this now.........or we can talk about it later  ...or if you don't want to talk about it."  "We can talk with the Pastor together to get this other issue resolved between the two of us."

The issue that I was referring to had been I had wanted to ask her "Why are you acting so disrespectful towards me?"  "What have I done to you?"

So, the bottom line is that "Yes, bullies need to get dealt with, and one should never put up with any kind of bullying by anyone!"

 :present:M

[mrrangerrick]

I was bullied as a kid and it affected my studies. I think children should have to go through a sensitivity class or something...the world will be a better place.

[gaylasue]

I despise bullying.  I would always stick up for someone who was being bullied and still do when the occasion arises.

[debidoo]

Agreed - my sons were bullied and the school district didn't do anything just turned a blind eye which is wrong.  There should have been discipline for the offenders but it is all in the past now.

[BATISTAGIRL663]

my son was bullied in grade school bad he had a short body frame at the time and was a chunky lil boy --the kids called him the dough boy and would poke him in the stomach all the time --he would come home from school crying everyday --i of course told him to just ignore them and they leave him alone if he didnt react to them --also i told him he would grow up --well boy it finally happen one summer break that child took off growing and got all muscled up --he was the biggest boy in the class and no one picked on him anymore he is 6'4 and 280 --it was so hard to get there with the bulling but he hung in there --so many kids can't --

[vickysue]

I was bullied when i moved to another state, and they did not like those who were of another race,  Which i just as white as her, but i came form new mexico and we were mexicans. My little sister is so fair  if she didn't wear makeup would fade into the woodwork. On the other hand my brother and i get dark in the summer being out side. Well because i am part french, Indian and English.  I took after my fathers mother and father. I put up with it for 3 whole years and told my parents that come summer i was moving back home and would live with my Grandparents even if they didn't like it. I had kept so much locked inside me, when i finally told them what was going  they both agreed it was time to come back home and we did Love it.
 

[nmbrown863]

I cannot stand a bully. Kids can be so mean. I agree, stand up to the bullies!

[lvstephanie]

Although I do think bullying is a problem, I have mixed feelings as to what to do about it....

From my own experiences, I think that the common recommendation with how the kids should deal with their bullies -- to just ignore them and they'll go away -- was the worst advice that I received. When I was young, I was small, skinny, and weak. The bullies saw this and picked on me because I was weak so they were able to pick on me without repercussions. By me ignoring my bullies only exacerbated the problem; they saw walking away from them and trying to avoid them as another sign of weakness, so it just gave them even more reason to continue to pick on me. The bullying finally stopped when I had it one day, and got into a fight during recess. Even though I lost the fight, the others now saw that I was willing to fight back, so they stopped picking on me and searched for easier targets.

I also have reservations about getting the school more involved... For elementary grades, this is probably the best way by having some authority figure punish bullying as at that time, the kids don't have enough "weapons" to adequately deal with the bullies. However in later grades, I think it serves the kids best to give them better ways of dealing with bullying on their own. Those rules that I'd favor in elementary grades could be used as a way to silence free speech for older students. Some victims learn to weaponize other's empathy, and in turn use it to bully others. A high school girl expressing concern about having to share her locker room with a boy claiming to be transgendered has to have her ideas silenced least she be seen as a bully for expressing her own feelings. We end up with thin-skinned people that have grown up their entire lives thinking that they need to be sheltered anytime someone makes them uncomfortable in words and / or actions. Thus we start seeing "trigger warnings" and "safe places" on university campuses to shelter their students from ideas that may go against their own beliefs.