Why men will never change?

[kat112073]

Today I had a great day at work and  wanted to relax when I got home. So much for that. My husband is really crazy to think my dad would cheat him out of money, for a part he ordered. My dad is 71 yrs old. I told my stubborn husband we are all humans and mistakes happen. The difference  was a $1 and change. I told my real stubborn husband that other people cheat people more out of money than a dollar. He also told me, my dad did this on purpose. I was so so angry with my husband and still am. I think our relationship has changed for the worse. You can't change someone, that is unwilling to change.

[debidoo]

I had an extremely complicated and difficult 34 years with my husband who passed away recently.  I miss him but he had a very weird way of looking at things especially where my family was concerned.  I don't know if there is anyway someone is going to change that looks at things like the experience you mentioned.  It seems like it would have to be more complicated than what you described but my husband was the same way.  I do want to get married again one day but I hope I meet someone who is on a more "even keel" than my husband was.

[kat112073]

Thank you for your reply. Men are not easy to deal with period, no matter how good men are. From my personal experience, I can not trust anything that comes out of their mouth anymore. I learned to not believe everything men say.  From my personal experience men are not easy to deal with and sometimes they can be so egotistical, you just get angry.  I'm sorry to hear your marriage was difficult. My own marriage at times is hard to deal with. If I knew my husband would turn out to be this way, I would of never married him. I really don't want a divorce, but after what he said to me today, I am considering it. What would you do?  I also believe for sure my husband has no interest in my family whatsoever. To me that is a shame and very hurtful.

[Tresbn00]

I think that , too often, people don't take enough time to realize what they are getting themselves into when they get married.  It is a commitment taken for better or worse.  Those annoying little habits at the onset of a relationship are going to magnify exponentially. Men and women are two completely different beings and will always be at odds with each other.  If you marry someone thinking that they are going to change, or crazier yet that you will change them, you are absolutely out of your mind.  All too often the problems stem from outside what the real gripe is all about and communication is key. You have to give of yourself and try to understand where the other person is coming from.

[sherryinutah]

That's true.  You won't be able to change someone, regardless of their gender, because people resist "being changed" unless they make a personal choice to change something about their self.

It sounds like your husband "sweats the small stuff" and needs to vent.  Tell him to pay a therapist that he can "vent" with so he doesn't ruin your day.  When your spouse is having a tendency to "drain" you emotionally the honeymoon is definitely over.

 

[tjung10]

Not all men are the same!

[msmoneybags48]

There are some men who think they have a superiority complex to women.  They think that gives them the right to do what they want to do.  I have discovered this one tidbit about men:  generally, when they accuse you of cheating, they are, nine times out of ten, doing it themselves and, out of a sense of guilt, will make you feel tired enough of their accusations that you will go out and do the one thing they are accusing you of.   

My husband actually fixed his mouth to scream my name through the house.  I screamed back, "What?" and he said, "You are screaming what instead of "yes, sir", and my response to that was, "I am not a part of this man's Army; I am not going to say that to you.  When your children get to my age, they may say it, but I am not going to dignify that with a response."  That shut him up.

[masked_brown_guy]

what's that situation have anything to do with men besides the fact that your husband and father are males? your internal family conflict is the problem, not men.

[BlackSheepNY]

You can't change someone, that is unwilling to change.

You can't change someone, period, and vice versa.  You either learn to live with the discrepancies that all human beings have, or you move on.  Trying to change anyone is futile.  It's up to the individual to make any changes.

[bigfoot951]

Men marry women hoping they will never change.  Women marry men thinking they can change them.  Ultimately, both are disappointed.