being maid of honor

[carters_ma]

Im my best friends maid of honor and i have to pay for my dress, shoes, jewelry and getting my hair and nails done. I haven't said anything to her but i didn't think i was suppose to. She never has to worry about paying a bill or anything, completely different from my life! I just wanted some other peoples opinion.thank you!

[djohnson43]

When I got married 21 years ago I made it easy for my girls. I picked out a patter that could be worn later after the wedding with just a couple adjustments and since their moms sewed it was easy. If you don't think you can afford this to be your friends maid of honor you need to tell her. Tell her you want to have the honor but need help with the costs. Especially if you say she has the money. Best of luck.

[bremer51]

When I got married, I had my brothers for my bridesmaids.  But I paid for their tuxedos.

[tinaryerson]

She should at least be paying for the dress. The hair and nails isn't a necessity but she should be paying for the dress unless she wants you to wear what you want.

[carters_ma]

Thank you guys!  Yea she has the money and i live pay check to pay check and have a 3 year old. I felt bad for even asking i was just wondering. Ill at least ask for help with the dress or something. I just know when i have my actual wedding (been marries 5 years but didn't get to have an actual wedding) i will be paying for the dresses. Its my first wedding I've been in since i was little so Im excited! Plus she's my best friend!

[madeara]

I am in the bridal party for my brother's upcoming wedding.  His fiancee just wanted us to buy dresses we felt comfortable in that we could possibly wear again to another occasion.  If you don't feel that you are able to be your best friend's maid of honor, you need to tell her that.  If she is a true friend, she will understand.

[Nancy5]

When I got married my girls paid for their own dresses, but I didn't pick the most expensive either.  I have been in several weddings and I always paid for my dresses.  The nails are your choice.  I would suggest if you can't afford it, please tell her ASAP as she needs to know this.

[6265AT99]

Im my best friends maid of honor and i have to pay for my dress, shoes, jewelry and getting my hair and nails done. I haven't said anything to her but i didn't think i was suppose to. She never has to worry about paying a bill or anything, completely different from my life! I just wanted some other peoples opinion.thank you!

Well, in this day and age it is very expensive to pay for all the necessities of being a maid of honor but, if the bride is financially stable and capable of paying for the dress I think she should at least do that.  Maybe you could "gently" bring up the fact that the expense is hard for you, especially if the bride is expecting a gift as well.  Wish you luck no matter which way you choose to handle it.

[lje11725]

I have been in a bunch of weddings and we were responsible for the dress and the shoes.  I agree that the nails should be a choice as well as the hair.
I believe the bride can say she'd prefer he hair up or down and most people would adhere to the brides request.
Maybe you can suggest that the jewelry...depending on how much and the price....can be the brides gift to her attendants. 

[cheermomtoo]

Traditionally the bridesmaid pays but the bride can treat the girls to a trip to a salon for hair, nails and makeup and she can give them matching earrings etc for bridesmaid gift.  I know it is the brides day but she can be considerate of individual situations and temper the cost of the dresses.

[pitbullsigh]

In the weddings Ive been in I paid for my dress and shoes. Hair we did whatever the bride wanted and could do it ourselves or whatever.
Makeup we have done our own or had someone come in [a friend] and do everybodies. Jewelry has been an attendants gift.
I know you appreciate the honor but I think you can explain the financial difficulty to her.
good luck OP!

[mark81265]

My wife just told me that she always got stuck paying for all her stuff to.

[alice44]

Congratulations for being asked to be in your friends wedding.  There is a problem though in our society - the bridesmaids' are expected to pay.  I think it would be appropriate to tell your friend how honored you are to be included in the special occasion, but right now, funds are tight and you really can't afford to put out all that is expected of the bridesmaids.  She may understand and offer to help out.  That would be her choice.

[carters_ma]

   I really appreciate everyone's advice! I had spoke with her about it last night and she is going to pay for the dress but i have to pay for shoes hair, nails, etc. Im fine with that! Ill probably just do the hair, makeup, and nails myself. I have jewelry that I've never worn that is formal and goes really well with the dress so there is one less expense!