How do you deal with the death of a loved one?

[MichelleHW101]

I just lost my grandmother and while each day passes I cry less I still miss her.    It’s the first real loss in family I’ve had to deal with and I just don’t know how.  I mean on one hand my younger brother acts like nothing’s changed and won’t talk about grandma.  My mother won’t talk about Grandma around Grandpa. On the other hand when it’s just me and my grandfather I talk about grandma all the time.  Trouble is when I do it just makes my grandfather cry.  If we don’t talk about grandma is that like she’s truly gone where she never exsisted?  Some tell me its good to talk about her because we’re keeping her memory alive.  Other’s tell me the more you talk about a past loved one the more pain you are inflicting upon yourself.  I know everyone handles greif differently but I just can’t let her go.  I have to talk about her because if I stop then it’s like she never exsisted.  Yet I don’t like seeing my grandfather cry every time I do talk about her.  So what’s the right thing to do?

[MichelleHW101]

Do you pack up all their stuff or do you talk about them?  With my grandmother recently passed it was hard to look at anything that belonged to her.  I would just cry.  We put away a few things but then I got to feeling if we put away everything it’s like she never existed.  I began talking about her all the time but no one else in my family did.  They felt if we constantly brought up Grandma it would hurt Grandpa.  I believed if we stopped talking about her then we’re what acting like she didn’t exist?  I know everyone handles grief differently but if we don’t feel her loss, if we don’t see her things, if we don’t talk about her anymore, are we really honoring her?