It was the most humane choice for my cat. My "Tony" was adopted from a local cat rescue's "infirmary". I didn't adopt a sick cat on purpose. (It is never recommended that anyone adopt a sick cat because many times they don't make it and the expense of a sick cat's medical care can be expensive.) But the "heart wants what the heart wants" and it was "love at first sight" with my "Tony".
He had five close calls his first two years where he almost died: he had seizures, bronchitis/respiratory issues, he was accidentally over-vaccinated due to a mix-up at the shelter, and he had serious urinary blockage three times in less than two weeks. After all that, I told his vet to test him for everything because I had a feeling something was still not right. He was always "scrawny" but always full of energy. The tests came back and the vet told me the results were near perfect, she told me to take him home and enjoy him. I did.
I never expected to find him less than a year later in the emergency clinic because out-of-the-blue, he couldn't walk---his back legs were dragging. He howled out in pain a few times but when I picked him up, he seemed to be ok. I thought maybe he just pulled a back muscle playing with the dog or perhaps fell and hurt his back. I thought I would take him to the emergency clinic...pay a
"million dollars" and bring him back home. (He had a tank top that says "Million Dollar Baby" because his medical bills had already costed me a "million dollars"...lol)
When the vet said he had a blood clot, I was in shock...I couldn't believe my vet didn't know about his heart. Blood clots like his are typically the result of underlying heart disease. The er vet had tested and said Tony had an enlarged heart and most likely was born with it. The choices were to either have the vet work on him trying to dissolve the clot (most cats don't survive the initial 48 hours). If Tony did survive then he could go home but because of the heart condition, there would be another blood clot in 3-6 months which could happen when I was at work---causing him to suffer for hours needlessly until he died on his own...or euthanasia, because there is no cure for his condition. Another clot or total heart failure was inevitable.
I held "Tony" while the vet administered the solution. It was the worst day of my life to have to watch my little guy that had been so full of life, always so happy and full of love...to die. The vet took his time and monitored Tony very closely. Tony first was like in a deep sleep, then the vet said he was unconcious. After a few seconds the brain would cease and after that the heart and lungs would stop working. He checked for a heartbeat and said there was none. He died quickly and easily, there was no struggle...he'd always been such a good boy.
I know I made the best choice for my beloved Tony but the loss has been so painful. He kept everything and everyone so upbeat and happy. He was my "alarm clock" for getting to work on time...I've almost been late to work every day for two weeks now. My yellow lab is going nuts trying to find him in the house, when she gives up---her face looks so sad. The dogs knew he was howling in pain, they saw me put him in a carrier and leave with him...and that was it. They never got to even say goodbye to him. Nothing has been "normal" without him...I don't know how I ever managed before Tony. I don't know why this had to happen to him when he had been loved so much. I had counted on him so much to keep me upbeat because I have been currently having issues with my dog Shadow who hasn't been able to use her back legs for about 2 months now. To have two pets with non-working back legs has just been unreal, even my vet has said so. (Shadow's story will be posted below.)
If I had the chance to adopt him all over again, I would. (Sick cats need good, loving homes too.) I don't have any regrets about choosing euthanasia for him...it was the ONLY humane choice.
I had always told my Tony that he was an angel...now he truly is.