Virgins being Raped

[marieelissa]

Do you believe a Virgin that has been raped looses her virginity to it? I mean in order to lose your virginity wouldn't you have to be willing?

If you can't lose your virginity to random objects being inserted up there...i.e. tampons then you could possibly just do a *bleep* all your life and still be a virgin right?

[teflonfanatic]

Good point about the tampon tidbit, however since rape is forced this will cause a tear in the girls hymen(I think that's what is called) which many classify as a girl losing her virginity.

[amyrouse]

What is the physical requirement for a male to lose his virginity?

Virginity, to me, is a mental thing with the physical as an accessory, if that makes sense.  For example, I once dated a guy who told me he had four years of celibacy, and I told him that its not celibacy if you're just not getting any.  Same thing with virginity... a woman or a man could possibly be mentally ready for quite some time before the opportunity presents itself.  On the other side of that coin, a woman or a man could be raped before they are mentally ready to deal with the repercussions of penetration and/or intercourse...

Of course, I believe wholeheartedly that rape is not sexual but an exercise of power and control, so rape should not even be considered when it comes to virginity.

When thinking about that... gay men and lesbians... if they never have sex with the opposite gender, are they virgins?  Does the act of oral sex cause the loss of virginity?

Why are we so concerned with it, anyway?

[slawson123]

I think that rap can go both ways on losing your virginity. Technically I think that it would make you not a virgin, but I also think that the person has the right to decide how they see it.

A girl can tear her hymen by riding a horse also, or doing many other athletic activities.

What I want to know is how people can tell if you are a virgin or not if you haven't had any kids or haven't had sex in a long time. What stretches usually goes back to it's normal shape right?

[marieelissa]

Why are we so concerned with it, anyway?

Because I was raped as a virgin at 12 years old and it haunts me to this day. I am really messed up. I just wanted to get peoples opinions and see what they thought. 

[queenofnines]

Yes, if you got raped, you are not a virgin anymore.  Just like if you got married but then divorced, that does not discount the fact that you were ever married.  A smoker who stops smoking and has his lungs clear up almost back to normal has still experienced smoking even if he'll never touch a cig again.

It's unfortunate if one's first sexual encounter is due to rape, but this doesn't mean you can magically forget you had sex (forced or not), which is the criteria for virginity.

The focus on virginity is freaking stupid, anyway.  We're all virgins when it comes to various things in our lives, and then in the next minute when we do that thing, we're not.  It's no big deal.

[bschumacher]

I would classify this poor child as a virgin.

[amyrouse]

Why are we so concerned with it, anyway?

Because I was raped as a virgin at 12 years old and it haunts me to this day. I am really messed up. I just wanted to get peoples opinions and see what they thought. 

The rape is something to be concerned with, not the virginity.

Our culture is too obsessed with virginity and when and if people have sex.  I was a virgin until I turned 24, then I had four partners over the course of four months and then was raped five months after losing my virginity.  I blamed myself over this, thinking that if I hadn't turned into such a *bleep*/*bleep*/etc then I would never have been raped, when the fact of the matter is IT WASN'T MY FAULT.  Even if a woman strips down completely naked in front of a horny man and says "nuh uh don't touch you naughty boy" and wags her finger at him, it does not give him the welcome to rape her.  What happened to you was wrong in every way possible.  Whether it broke your hymen or not, it was wrong.  Whether you could physically be classified a virgin or not, it was wrong.  It was inexcusable.

[marieelissa]

Well I think any virgin that has been raped is still a virgin. Virginity has always been defined as a willing sexual encounter and the first time of wanting to be sexual. Since rape is not willing and unwanted then it wouldn't be classified as sex, period.

I am not concerned with the physical part of it but the mental. And mentally, yes you're still a virgin.  

You loose your viriginity the first time you have sex...and guess what, you have to want too and be willing.

Just because a man stuffed his organ up you doesn't mean squat. That is not having sex. That is being raped.

It is so sad though if a little girl who has never had a previous willing encounter has this as her first. I mean at least girls who have been willing prior to rape have something to fall back on.

Can anyone say screwed up!

[sdecaro558]

I would say that physically it takes your virginity, but from a mental perspective, that's entirely up to you and how you think about.  More importantly in my mind is this: Does it really matter if you're a virgin?  Why is classifying yourself in that way important?

[cubarican210]

Do you believe a Virgin that has been raped looses her virginity to it? I mean in order to lose your virginity wouldn't you have to be willing?

If you can't lose your virginity to random objects being inserted up there...i.e. tampons then you could possibly just do a *bleep* all your life and still be a virgin right?

Physically, the rape victim wouldn't be a virgin anymore but mentally I'd say yes. It just depends on how old the girl was when it happened. It's just unfortunate for a rape victim because she wasn't given the choice to give up her virginity. It was taken from her by force.