Sarcastic remarks lol

[ButterflyWings]

This is all in fun love this they make me smile..

    
Sarcastic Remarks...


And your cry baby whiny assed opinion would be.....?

Do I look like a *bleep* people person?

This isn't an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Sarcasm is just one of the services we offer.

If I throw a stick will you leave??

YOU!.... Off my planet!

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

The bible was written by the same people who said the earth was flat.

Did the aliens forget to remove your *bleep* probe?

Errors have been made, others will be blamed.

Ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

A hard on doesn't count as personal growth.

Whatever look you were going for, you missed.

Well, this day was a total waste of make-up .

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Are these your eyeballs, I found them in my cleavage.

I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable.

I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

Not all men are annoying, some are dead.

Did I mention that kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

It's not the size that counts... no wait, it's the size!

A woman's favorite position is CEO

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Okay, Okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!

Too many freaks not enough circuses.

Macho law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.

I plead contemporary insanity.

And which dwarf are you?

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

[NickOfSpencer]

"I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?"

WOW, im a pizza delivery boy, you could substitute the vibrator sometime *wink wink*

[shernajwine]

Figured out there are three kinds of people in this world-- me, morons, and idiots.  Which one are you? 

[ButterflyWings]

Oh my to pizza dude I am married so lmao..And to other comment wow love it I got to use that one LMAO

[dell9031]

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

[cloudsoup]

"If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cats."

"Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?"


these are my favorites from the list! haha.

what is it with older women and perfume?
i don't know if they can't smell themselves, or their pheromones
react differently when reacting to perfumes, but MY GOD. they
knock me over with their musty old dead flower scents.

and children are just troublesome. i love my cat and my cat
loves me and she doesn't scream, beg, cost a lot of money,
or require much attention. then again, i'm bitter 

[makedoughonline]

Than you for sharing.