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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: misner411 on July 29, 2009, 10:42:25 am
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I know someone planning to get married and she's only 23. I think she should wait. What about you?
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I don't think it's your place to tell someone to wait. I'm 24, married with a 17 month old son, and very happy with my decisions.
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i don't necessarily think that's too young.
it IS young on a broad scale, but i think it's old ENOUGH.
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I don't think so...I got married a month after I turned 19...we have been together for 5 1/2 happy years now, with 2 kids. I don't think that anyone can really say that any age is TOO young (once one hits the age of consent)...it is what is best for you and him/her...nobody else's opinion should matter. But that is just how I feel.
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nope i dont think it is , i say go for it if your in love :icon_rr:
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It varies from person to person. If I had gotten married at 23, that would have been too young for me. But I can't judge anyone else. If your friend is in love and wants to get married, why not? It's not like she's a teenager still in high school. At 23, she's probably already graduated college by now.
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It depends upon the person.....Some people are ready at a young age and some are not.
I am a believer in living together first but I know that goes against some peoples beliefs.
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Not at all too young. I met my husband when we were 15. We started dating 2 weeks after my 16th birthday and got married when I was 20, 6 weeks before my 21st birthday....(he's only 6 months older than me). We celebrated our 5 year anniversary in April and celebrated 10 years of being "us" in June!! I think it all depends on the couple. My parents were 17 and 19 and they'll be married 27 years in December (together 29). I say good luck to them and wish them the best. Never be pessimistic about their relationship.... just be her friend and be excited with her!!
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Definitely not. I'm 19 going on 20. Have a 7 month old son, and am happily married. Just like everything else, age doesn't define maturity and understanding of love.
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It depends on a lot of things. If the couple have been together for a long amount of time (IE years) then I don't really think its too young, since they've had time to think about it.
But if they've been together for a few months, then no, It would be rushing.
It also depends on their culture. In certain cultures, 23 is WAY too young. However, in the American Culture, the average "stable" marriage age is between 22 and 27. (Average!)
Of Course there are cultures where people get married in their mid-teens. So again it all depends. (I really don't see anyone emotionally ready to get married at 15, but Im not one to judge)
My parents got married at 32, beacuse they weren't ready to give up the luxuaries of being single (Going to Parties, spending time with friends, living with parents) until they were 32. They got engaged and then got married two weeks later... -_-
But if they know what they're giving up, and they know what their gaining, then no, I personally feel like you should support your friend.
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If you are planning to start a family, 23 is a good age. You don't want to be raising kids when you are in your late 40's.
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it all depends if it is becoming only from the idea of marraige or if the true pure need and want to be with that person is there I have just celebrated my third year anniversary with my husband and we married when i was 23. but we thought very hard about it first since there were kids involved from previous relationships. He's my First My last My Everything. REALLY!!!! LOL
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I personally got married at 19, had a baby at 22, and at 31 am still in fairy tale land with my prince charming. My sugesstion is to not try to tell her what's best for her. Worry about yourself. If it is a mistake it is one only she can learn from and it will have no impact on your life (other than maybe having to give up a shoulder to cry on if it doesn't work.) I have found that meddling in friends business to this extent will only hurt the friendship in the long run. OMG I sound like my mother!
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i think marriage is for mid 30s, at least
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It all depends on the situation and the people involved, I think. My opinion is that if you want to get married kind of young, you should probably spend at least a couple of years dating and living together to make sure it's what you really want.
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I agree with many of the replies. It all depends on the two people. If they are happy, then you, as a friend, should be happy for her and them.
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Yes i don't know how anyone could get married before they are at least 27. One should enjoy their youth while they still have it!
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It is to me.
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It is to me.
It depends on how long you have known them and how mature you are. :-
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I got married at 18 im still in my twenties (late) but I have enjoyed and still am enjoying being young. I have a wonderful husband and two children. You can get married and still have a life. So to answer your question no I do not think that 23 is to young. If your doubting your age in marriage there is bound to be a bigger question here.
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I think most people probably just get married to have a clear conscious about having sex lol
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I dont think so. I got married at 18 so i dont think theres anything wrong wit gettin married at 23. :)
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This depends upon the people involved. My grandmother married at 14. That marriage lasted over 50 years until my grandfather's death. Others should not marry even at the age of 114!
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I'd say 23 is just fine for most people, but as has been stated earlier it depends on the individuals involved. Maturity level and economic stability have to be strong enough for it to work.
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You could always seek counseling, either from your church or otherwise. Those people are educated to see any problems that may occur and advise on what you should do. Every situation is different and it's hard to judge unless you know the people getting married.
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Generally I think the average age that people are getting married has risen in the past few years. I don't think 23 is too young but it really depends on the person and what they want from the marriage. If they want to have children and start a family I think 23 is a good age for that.
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I think most people probably just get married to have a clear conscious about having sex lol
i'm afraid i somewhat disagree.
that could never be the case for ME, anyway.
although i'm not currently married - not even in a relationship.
i could never marry for reasons as juvenile as that.
my parents married when they were 16 - JUST because they were in love - had a daughter (my sister) the next year. and have been together ever since.. 36 years now.
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well love has no age on it...i almost married at 18 but we decided to wait a little longer...good luck :thumbsup: :angel12:
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I think it all depends on maturaty. If they are ready then they are. Sometimes people have to make their own mistake. Who knows, it could work out well.
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I think most people probably just get married to have a clear conscious about having sex lol
Thats a stupid reason to get married. I didnt have to clear my conscious, and bealive me the sex before marraige and after is still awesome!!
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im gonna have to say no ppl get married at younger ages then that and by that time your done with all schooling and such
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depending on each individual, i don't believe that 23 is "too young" to get married, but i do think that the person should be mature and ready for such a huge adjustment. i waited til i was 26 to get married and the guy i married was 36! and we waited that long to make sure that we were ready. we had time to experience things and learn things and make sure that we were ready to say "i do." now for some people, that time will some when they're 20 and for others it won't happen til they're 40, but only you know if you're "too young."
and a word of advice, if there's any amount of question, whether it be uncertainty, "cold feet" or nervousness, that probably means you're not ready. people will say that those feelings are normal, but i bet half of those same people would say that divorce is normal, too. if there's even an iota of doubt on your part, you should hold off.
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Like everyone else already said, it depends on how the two people feel about eachother. I got married when I was 21 and I have been happily married for 5 years so far. Good luck!
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Im 21, have a girlfriend of two years, and considering it, is that too old, or too young?? any opinions gladly accepted. :wave:
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Im 21, have a girlfriend of two years, and considering it, is that too old, or too young?? any opinions gladly accepted. :wave:
I've been married since I was 19 and my dh was 20 we've been married for 13 years and together for 16. I think if you feel you have your head on straight, and are willing to understand that marriage is not always fun and it's a lot of work, compromise and sometimes over looking the little things that may drive you nuts about your other half. Then yes, you have the chance to make it work. Age doesn't really matter, it's the maturity.
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I don't think her age is big deal on this topic, but I do think that the length of the relationship may be a concern. It seems like all to often people are getting married too fast in the relationship. The only ones who really know if the relationship is solid are her and the potential husband. Your best bet is to stay clear of the topic.
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23 is definitely not too young to get married. Heck, when I turn 23, I'll have been married 2 1/2 years already~!
Maturity is a good indicator... but not all people who are mature will do well in a committed relationship, and some immature people are great in committed relationships. Financial stability does not even have to play a factor. In fact, there can't be any real guidelines because what works for some relationships does not work well for others. Best test (beforehand) is for the couple in question to live together under one household. Honestly, if the two can live under a household for at least a year without murdering each other... there's a good indicator that things have a good chance of working out.
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If they both have steady jobs (money = #1 reason for divorce/bad marriages), understand each others needs and desires, and care for each other, it's not too young at all. If there is a reason you think she's too young, what is it? You said you think she should wait; what is she waiting for? On the average scale, around a 1/4 of her life is over...she's not going to get younger.
There has to be a specific reason you think she's too young. What is it?
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No, 23 is not too young to get married, unless there are other severe factors involved. Some cultures consider a young lady an old maid at 23. I don't think anyone has the right to tell another adult at what age they should get married.
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Im 21, have a girlfriend of two years, and considering it, is that too old, or too young?? any opinions gladly accepted. :wave:
I was 24 when I got married, 23 when we got engaged, 19 when we started dating. I would've gotten married at 21.
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I got married at 21 after dating since the teens. I would say that if you are ready and your partner is ready, go for it! I would strongly suggest LIVING with someone FIRST though, cuz you never know how that's gonna go and I think it's better to see if you are compatible in habitat BEFORE you take the plunge...lol
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Ok so I noticed I am one of the youngest but that is okay... I got married when I was 17 years old but I had been dating him since I was 15. We have been together for 7 years married for 5 and have 3 beautiful kids together. I will be 22 this coming up winter. Just cause I am married with kids doesn't take away my youth I am able to share that with my husband and kids. We still have fun ;D. So do I think it is to young? No not at all but again it depends on the people. My sister is 24 and going through a divorce cause she rushed with the wrong person for her. She just wanted to be married too. It does have it's difficult moments like any relationship does but in the end we love each other and can't imagine life without the other and then were fine. Good luck to your friend!
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23 is not too young. I was 22 when I got married. People like to delay things too long these days. We don't live forever. If she is happy with her decision then support her.
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I guess it varies with person to person. I cringe at the thought that I would have married the person I was dating when I was 23. But it took me a long time to mature, so I wasn't thinking then of how I was going to make a living, having a family, etc. I didn't get married until I was 28. It makes me smile to think of the people I dated before, because I was naive, I love my husband on a whole different level than I've ever loved anyone else in my past. I do think people should wait until they finish their education to get married...what's the big deal to wait awhile, being engaged is super fun, draw it out!
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It's really a personal preference and maturity question. I myself am 23 and have been engaged for 5 years. ;>.>
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ill be 23 when i get married, and at that time we will be together for 7 and a half years
so for sure no
it depedns how mature you are
how long youve known the person
if theres kids involved
the family support
etc.
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23 is a young age. But it is not too young to get married. And it could be worse she could be 16 or 17. So not that is young and it is probably too young. If I was you I WOULD talk to her about if it is how you feel.
I think of it as asking is getting married just for the benefits stupid??? Yes those are but age is just an age. It could be a lot worse.
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I think it depends on the person. Lots of people are mature enough to marry at a young age and stay happily married, while there are lots of people who at 40 or 50 are still too immature for it. If they love each other and are willing to compromise, they will be fine. No marriage, no matter how good it is, is perfect. They all have ups and downs and it depends on how they handle those ups and downs as a couple.
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absolutely not...people back in the day used to get married @ fifteen/sixteen ...now thats a bit young
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I got married when I was 22 (the guy I married was only 19 at the time). We were married almost 8 years before getting divorced.
I guess it depends on the person.
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absolutely not...people back in the day used to get married @ fifteen/sixteen ...now thats a bit young
My grandmother got married when she was 15 (got divorced later) but back then people didn't live as long (although grandma lived past 80) and they didn't have as many opportunities (especially women) as they do now. Now way in heck would I encourage a 15 year old or even a 23 year old today to get married when they have so much more to see and do as opposed to 50 years ago.
Those were different times. If I had children I would not be pleased if they got married at 23 I would want them to live on their own, travel and get an education and to really know who they are and what they really want out of life and I'm sorry but a lot of 23 year olds have no clue at that age.
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I don't think being 23 is too young to get marry. If you feel that he/she is the right person..I'd say go for it.
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I was 20 when I got married/ Been married to same man for 26 years next month
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i got married a 20 to the same man have been in for 18 years to him we have are good days & bad :BangHead: :dog: :dontknow:
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23 is too young, but mature enough
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I got married when I was 20. Seven years later and 2 kids, we are still happy :)
It all depends on the person, not the age.
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It depends on you and what you want/lifestyle. My husband and I got married when I was 18, it's been 7 years married/10 together, and we just had our second kid, and we're happy. We did wait to have kids- got college taken care of etc., but I do have a few friends who would rather be at the bar or aren't the commitement type. Know yourself- what you like, what you want, what you see in the future- and make sure you have a good match.
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I don't think so. I got married when I was 20 but I do wish I had waited a few more years. It's true that the older you get the more you learn. I'm in my late thirties now and divorced and If I had taken a lot more time to really get to know the family and him plus if I had waited I would have seen things a lot clearer. It's not too young, but take your time and make sure you are doing the right thing at this time and that person is the right one for you.
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i don't think it's too young. i mean, if she's happy she should go for it.
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23 is an ok age I think. I just got married at 26, but I met my husband when I was 23 and we've been living together since about the first week of dating - so basically I've been married since 23 :)
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im 21 and married for more than 1 year now and im happy being married , as long as you mature enough to handle a married life thats fine.
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Age shouldn't really be a factor in love. If you're in love and you know it, get married.
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Impossible to tell my age alone. i know some 30 year olds who shouldn't get married, lol. It really boils down to the individual, their maturity, relationship, etc.
I know a couple who married straight out of high school, after dating all through high school, and it is now 18 years later and they are going strong.
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As long as you are happy then that is all that matters. Age is just a number. If you are mature enough and can handle the relationship then i believe you are ready for the next step.
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No, 23 is not to young to get married. Where I come from, they get married YOUNG, I am talking about 13 and 14 young, and sometimes younger. They are sold off. So like I said in my book, 23, is not to young to get married.
I am 23. I was 19 when I got married, and I still am married. I knew the man I was married to for 2 weeks, and married him. We also have 2 kids together.
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I dont think its to young..my mom got married when she was 19 had my brother when she was 21 and 2 weeks after he was born my dad had a severe stroke which made screwed everything up from his temper to his speech to the way he walks...he also has parkinsons disease so by the time my mom was married..working a full time job..had to take care of a two year old baby and my dad...and believe it or not our family is still together today...stronger than ever..so i think if she could handle all that at 23 then that age isnt to young to get married.
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i think if she's ready for marriage, and knows she wants to marry this man, then she should go for it. i'm 21 years old, and a lot of my friends are married or engaged. it's not uncommon around here, and a lot of the marriages DO last.
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its all relevant to the two people getting married i think, it's not particularly the age
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It's all relative. There are too many other factors involved to say yes or no. Personally, I would have never married so young but that's just me.
I do, however, think you should mind your own business and let your friend live their life. If you think they're making a mistake, if you truly care about them, the best thing you can do is just be their friend and hope for the best.
A close friend of mine got married when she was just 21. I was her maid of honor but I was so very against the union. I saved my opinion for when SHE ASKED ME. And when she did, I took the opportunity to (lovingly) express how I felt. Then, I wished them well and never said another word about it.
The friendship has lasted. The marriage did not. She's since thanked me profusely for being there no matter what and never saying "I told you so."
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I personally think age has nothing to do with anything (as long as you're of legal age of course). As long as you're truly in love and know you're partner well enough and have a strong foundation, I think there's no reason they shouldn't get married. If this person is your friend, I would strongly suggest letting them make their own decision and not pushing the subject. They will end the friendship with you before ever stopping the wedding.
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At 23 it would depend on the maturity level of both people. If even one is immature, I'd say wait
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I know someone planning to get married and she's only 23. I think she should wait. What about you?
I don't think age should be a primary factor. Most of all, whether to be married or not is based entirely on our own decision. We are responsible for all the choices we make in life. If they don't turn out well, we should not blame others for the decisions we make but learn from them.
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It all really depends on the people involved. I got married at age 20... about 4.5 years ago. If you think you are prepared to handle with all the new 'adventures' that come with..go for it.
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Too young....I have undies older than that.... ;D
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23 ill be 23 in two months lol , theres NO where in sight ill be married in that year lol i think in ur early 20s a person has to see whats out there or live it up and be a 20 yr old , because if u get married too soon ur going to or want to do 20 yr old things in ur 30s or 40s , so on and so on
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No, 23 is not to young. I'm getting married in November and I just turned 20 in July. What is it with people trying to tell others what to do. I can't even count the number of people who have told me I shouldn't get married. If it is the right person and both of you have your head on straight then there is no reason whatsoever that you couldn't get married at a young age.
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no
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I think it depend on the person wo is getting married if he/she is a responsible person and know what marriage is and willing to succeed then there is no right age for marriage
Congratulation for the one who is getting married and I like your opinion
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No. Not at all if you are in love you go all out
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yes
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Age has nothing to do with it. It has to do with maturity level. I was 18 when I got married.
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no way. I got married at 23... I turned 24 a month later but I think ifyou know you are with the right person then why not age shouldn't matter
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nope i dont think it is , i say go for it if your in love :icon_rr:
I agree.
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Naw not really. If you're making water falls of money, age wouldn't really matter at this time.
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Chronological age has very little bearing on the results, I think. I got married when I was 18. Got divorced 7 years later, got married again, got divorced 11 years later . . .
Then there's my daughter who married her high school sweetheart and next year is their 20th wedding anniversary - they got married before she graduated high school. She was 17, he was 19.
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i don't think so. just as long as you love each other and able to support yourselves financially.
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I know someone planning to get married and she's only 23. I think she should wait. What about you?
It depends on the relationship she has with the other person, her budget, and maturity. Although, 23 is a bit early. I guess it depends on how much she and her partner love each other.
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23 isn't too early. At least, my cousin got married at 18...THAT I think is too early. Maybe 23 isn't early, just compared to 18 it is. Either way, that's my opinion.
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Certainly not, you can get married whenever you reach the legal age in your state.
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ITS HER DECISION! YOU CANT TELL HER WHAT TO DO
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it is her decision. but that is not to young. if she is in love then let her be. just congratulate her and tell her how happy you are for her
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Im 21 and i am engaged. If we had the money we would be setting a date and getting married.I want to be married by the time that i am 25 years old.
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i got married at 23, and i belive that if you and that person truely love one another and want to spend the rest of your lives together then go ahead. but i do suggest laying out everything on the table as far as what you both expect from each other and the marriage, kids, your futures, sex, and anything else that is important to you both. make sure that you can come to a mutual agreement on what you want in your marriage. we did and we have been married for 6 years now and still going. :thumbsup:
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I got married at 22, 4 months before I turned 23. I may have been young but I don't think no one at no age is really ready for marriage. I have a wonderful marriage and I am 29 now with four wonderful kids. So I wouldn't discourage someone because of their age I would just be the best support you can be behind whatever decision they make. ;D
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I got married at 19. My husband was 21. We just celebrated our 33rd anniversary this year! We WERE young and it has not always been an easy road....as in, we have had bumps along the way...fights, disagreements, quarrels, and feelings of aloneness, etc. BUT we also have always made the effort to work things out, talk out, makeup (FUN part).
It is well worth it. He and I get along very well. He always says "the rocks in my head fit the holes in his." We still "go out on dates" frequently. I love him.
We have 4 kids ages 30 down to 19. It has been a FUN RIDE.
I don't know what the "magic" age is for getting married. I do know that whatever age you marry, you both need to know that you will have ups and downs. You will always need to work at being a couple and have time together as well as time alone with your own friends. You are making a commitment and don't want to "throw in the towel" over minor bumps in the road.
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I think 23 is ok...i think 18 is young
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I was 21 and i'm happily married for 5 years. I think people are getting married too late lol...late 20's and early 30's is waiting too long. I think started a family sooner then later is much smarter. You never know what can happen! :angel11:
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I think it depends on the people and how they feel. If they're in love and want to spend their lives with each other, why not get married? For me, it would be too young. It probably depends on life and what you want out of it as far as career goals, education, etc. Some people want to wait until they have all that figured out; others don't. It just depends on the person.
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I think it is up to the person getting married. If they feel like they are ready for that step than I wish them all the best.
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I think too many people today get married for the wrong reasons. However, I think you have to be careful and not get too involved in other people's business, especially friends. If you know something she doesn't, then you may want to approach her as a friend and let your feelings be known. The decision ultimately has to be hers and you need to support it, whatever it is.
I knew at 15 that I would marry my husband some day. We dated for 5 years all through the high school days and never felt like we lost anything. Never lived together, never would have considered it (but that's just us), got married at 20 and have been married for 21+ years, together for 26. I found out later my sister-n-law said it would never last. I think a lot of people felt that way, especially my parents. They had other plans for me, but ultimately left it up to me. They now think he's the best thing since sliced bread and jokingly ask me how I landed someone so wonderful.
We got married on $5 an hour while I was in college. We didn't miss out on anything, we just did it together. I did the sorority thing, finished college, he finished college, we have since then earned 2 more degrees and have 2 wonderful teenage boys. We did wait to have children because we wanted to spend time together just the 2 of us. We travelled, got better jobs, and then had our first son 5 years later. Our second son is physically disabled and that just adds another whole new dimension to a relationship.
Marriage is a lot of hard work. Big ups and downs. But you have to remember why you married the person in the first place. I think the secret is to be friends, learn to forgive and put all pride aside. Its not important to win at the cost of your family.
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No, but if you are happy and in Love go ahead!
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But, also you don't want to rush into it, Make sure this is something you are ready for.
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It varies from person to person. I don't think it's anyones job to judge when someone should get married. But if your friend is mature and is in love,then why not?
It's not like their still in highschool,then that would be different.
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I think that as long as you are on your feet, in love, and sure of what you are in for, why not? Don't let anyone tell you what to do, its up to you and how you are truly feeling.
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Age does not indicate the happiness of the marriage. Any of us that are married certainly know that things are not always "peachy" in a relationship - however just being older doesn't make that better/easier, etc.
I was 24 when I first got married -- it lasted 5 months
at age 27 I got married again and now have a happy 3 year + marriage and a healthy 2 year old boy.
Being 24 didn't make my marriage fail -- it was not a good pair
being 27 doesn't make my marriage work - but rather the understanding and love and the patience of my dear husband has made this one last longer than the first
All of us are selfish (to some degree) and we would prefer to be alone and have everything we want without having to share or deal with another person - however our emotional and physical needs require or lend itself well to marriage -- now how do we really balance all of this??
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No, People get married at younger ages, and its been happening all over the world for centuries.
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it's the maturity of both parties. if they're mature, then why not? :angel11:
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Yes!!! I got married at 18 and divorce at 21 take your time if it is the right person you will still be together further down the road when you are a little older
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i think it depends on the person.
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I am 24 and i have been married almost 2 years and i love it but i cant say that for everyone.
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You can tell people what you think but generally they don't listen. I am trying to give fewer pieces of advice to people~!
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No. if your in love and think the time is right then do it.
im only 20 and ive been engaged for over a yr.
i would be married right now if it werent for the money issue.
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I think everyone is different. If you are doing it for the right reasons, than go ahead. I've never understood people who think they have to wait until they're older to get married. What is 'older'...30's, 40's? Some people are more mature in their twenties than others will ever be. I was married at 22 and we have a lovely family with beautiful children and are extremely happy.
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I think it depends on the person whether or not they are mature enough, can handle the responsibility, etc.. My parents got married at 20 and they have been together for almost 22 years.. so idk...
no offense but if she is in love, i dont think you should make her wait.. she might hate you for it, just saying.. :dontknow:
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I think it depends on how strong the relationship is and how long they been in it.
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if the person is truly in love then no its not...but if they're just doing it to do it (hehe) then maybe...but 23 is a good age to start a family(:
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Really not one to judge others based on their decisions. If they want to get married, then by all means, let them get married. If they like it, I love it!
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Well im 23 and dont see myself getting married anytime soon. You only have your 20s once in a lifetime.. so live them up.
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Maybe depends on the person. But i don't think so i am going to be married in a year or so and i will be 22 in Jan.
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Got married when i was 20 and i didnt really have much experiences in dating and so far married life is good now i dont know in the futurehope wont change.
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My wife was 23 when we got married (I was 26). She said she felt young to be getting married, but at the same time, we were definitely ready. We'd been dating or engaged for over four years. It's all up to the individual.
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I don't think it's necessarily too "young" to get married.. I just think people REALLY need to think about everything physical, emotional and financial that goes along with marriage before they make it legal.. whether you're 18 or 65... it should be thought through and you should DEFINITELY live with eachother first to learn eachothers habits, you'd be suprised what little things cause a divorce..