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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Debate & Discuss => Topic started by: hensleyll on February 26, 2014, 12:33:02 pm
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she has terrible temper but when you try to talk to her she just bellars off top of her lungs she is my granddaughter and her parents are just run arounds that dont have any discipline theirselves
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Maybe this will help.....
Do you, however, the one teaching someone else, not teach yourself? You, the one preaching ‘Do not steal,’ do you steal? You, the one saying ‘Do not commit adultery,’ do you commit adultery?”—Romans 2:21, 22.
A chairman of the Seoul Board of Education said: “Example in word and deed is the best child education.” If parents do not set a good example in speech and conduct and give their child specific instruction, the child will quickly assume they are hypocritical. The parents’ words will lose their effect. For instance, if parents want to teach their child honesty, they themselves must be honest. It is very common for some parents, when they do not want to receive a telephone call, to have their child say, “Sorry, my dad (or mom) is not here.”
Then the child may get confused after.
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this is true ,but i do not do this kind of thing,i try to be as honest as i can with the kids
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because this is not your child i would refrain from breaking out anything more then the time out. i personally have always discipline my son who is 16 months old just as my parents did. I dont abuse my child but he is also aware what is appropriate and what is not. It sounds like the issue probably lies not in your grandchild but in the parents maybe you should have a sit down with them to see if some type of agreement can be worked out if not i would refuse to watch the child until the issue has been addressed.
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You would need to discipline them now, so it won't get worse. Time out would be some where to start.
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I'm no parent but I grew up with 3 brothers & 2 sister. I now have 4 nieces observation & past lessons from mistakes give me some knowledge to help you out.1. Don't punish th child punish your adult children for failing to bring up their child! 2. When child's acting up ignore her; pretend kid's not even in the room with you.Kid will get tired soon enough!
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It depends upon the situation. I would like to share this story with you. My aunt married a man who had 6 children and she had 4, then had their baby. This man believed in discipline, but had taken it overboard. My aunt's children had no discipline and she would not allow him to discipline her children. His children, however, was a different situation. She would do things to get his children into trouble. He was beating his children well unto their teenage years. His oldest daughter was so tired, she was trying to get away. She got away at 17 and because my aunt figured my grandmother and I had something to do with her leaving, she and the remaining children accused us of breaking up their home because she had spent the night with us. This was her idea. One by one her siblings left. Before my aunt died, she had been forgiven by his children except for one. I can see you marrying a person who has children, but you are supposed to raise those children as your own. My aunt did not do that. I will tell you this; at three years old, she is doing this because her parents have not disciplined her and doing it right now is only going to make things worse. Good luck in this aspect. ??? ??? ??? :bad: :rainbow:
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:) Before 3 years old. as a grandparent, you can only control what goes on in your house. Our grand kids know our rules and behave nice in our house. :)
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If you are watching her at your place, you can for sure say that "you do not get to act like that here!" and punish her by time out or no TV, etc. When my kids where younger, we'd always have tons of their friends over and I would sit each one down (or in group is sleepover) and tell them the rules of our household and if they wanted to continuing coming over they had to obey the simple rules.
Good luck, I know it's not easy when the parents are not consistent or too lenient. :)
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Try a time out or take away something that she really like for awhile till she can behave.
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When my kids were 2, nearly 3. I introduced the time out. I'd give them 3 clear warnings after telling them there behavior is unacceptable. I'd count 1, 2, 3. If I got to 3 they had to sit in time out for however long there age was. It took a couple of times for them to get it but when they did they would start to move when I got to 2. The other day my 14 & 7 year old were acting up. I put my 7 year old in a 7 min. time out. I told my 14 year old if he kept it up he'd be sitting with her. Sure enough he pushed my buttons and he too sat in a 14 min. time out. Moral of the story was to teach my daughter a lesson. My son - his pride was hurt more than anything.
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You should discipline your three year old whenever they are old enough to understand what they are being disciplined for.
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so we are working on timeouts and taking AWAY toys or ipad or whatver she has when being bad,she likes to throw things so we take them for time each time is longer working good so far
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I have a step daughter that is the same way with her 2 year old. I told her to start disiplining them ASAP. When they start to be able to reach for things they will learn what no is very quickly.
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Also some more good advice......
Proverbs 22: 6 says, "Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it."
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yes i can really tell the difference between a child that has been disciplined early and those not
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Kids aren't as astute at knowing how to meet their needs as we grownups are. Sometimes even we don't behave in the most appropriate ways to get what we need. A child is much less capable of identifying and articulating what they need, and instead they reach out through their behavior. What looks like "misbehavior" is actually a child's misguided attempt to fulfill a need that's not being met.
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Any and every time it misbehaves would be my method. Severity of the action would depend on the circumstances but every infraction should be addressed no matter how small. Inconsistent discipline only creates confusion in a child's mind and creates more problems.
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What one person considers discipline another person may not.
Try to concentrate on rewarding good behavior. Even if it is something small-
Grandma really likes it when you pick up your toys.
Grandma really likes it when you eat all your lunch.
Start concentrating on rewarding behavior instead of picking out the bad behavior to punish.
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king4cash i never looked at it that way guess i should
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You have to start early,or they will over run you.
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i agree 100%,i have a 29 year old who got away with quite a bit she is now in jail for years thought she could do whatever she wanted and never have to pay
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msmoneybags48,maybe you are right didnt think about that way this is what im afraid of with my grandsons their father and step mother are taking them from us
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My granddaughter 3no disaplane but with me I put her in corner or pack play she scream but I wait than I go explain to her what she did and why it wrong now I take you out you be good she understand but parent need to start there not to little
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so i have been trying the time outs they seem to be helping some
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Children need discipline and boundaries. They will act out if they don't have it. It needs to start at a very young age.
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was seeing real progress then she went home with her mom for a week now it starts all over again UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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oh wow well if her parents don't give her discipline early and let her do what she wants no body will be able to do that latter.
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Well would love to say that but i love my kids and grandkids i cant just write them off
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You can only control them when they are with you, and they need to know if they come to Grammy's house what the rules are. I think if you tell them they will not be allowed back they will come to an understanding. Good luck. Kids are hard sometimes.
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before they turned 3
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Well aparantly someone is not doing something right,i thinkin it might be because there is alot of fighting going on around her
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If they are big enough to do it-----THEN-----They are big enough to learn NOT to do it----AND---Your job is to teach them.
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Of course you SHOULD discipline a 3 year old. The real question is what constitutes effective discipline for a child that age. The question really is, how do you effectively teach a 3 year old the lesson you care about (pick up your toys, don't pull the dog's tail, etc). Remember that the root of discipline comes from the concept of discipleship. Punishment, is something we do to feel better ourselves. Discipline is something we do to bring about positive development in our kids.
Good luck though. I know it isn't easy.
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I'm struggling with this too. It's very difficult when a child won't listen or behave.
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If the parents don't discipline their child, then the child will have a hard time understanding the difference between right and wrong. The most you could do is teach the child the rules of your household. Trying to teach the child correct behavior when your not around is just wasting your time if the parents don't enforce the rules.
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if you dont he wont learn i no my son made it to nine yrs old lol he was a bad one and still is.
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:) We have the same problem. Grandpa and Grandma don't let them get away with it. Let the child bellar. Just walk away. If it starts again, walk away again. Eventually, the 3 year old will realize it doesn't work that way in your house. Our grandkids behave very well with us. Much better than if they were home. :)
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now is the time to start the discipline i would say. if she will talk back to you now when she's little, just imagine how bad she will be when she grows up!!!! i've never been a fan of spanking, my son only had one in the past 18 years... and he's more polite than most of the kids his age. if they know that you wont allow that kind of behavior from the start, they grow up respecting you more. there's always taking away a favorite toy, not letting them have dessert...or in my son's case, making him sit still for five or ten minutes. at that age he was always a bundle of energy so sitting still was almost like corporal punishment to hear him tell it lol
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so i tried timeout she just keeps getting up ,tried taking tv she doesnt care about tv tried taking toys not phase her at all,decided she could not go out in play or upstairs to play with great grandparents she stays with me mostly no only spends a night or to with her parents she is in headstart and prek she is doing much better no thanks for all the advice and support
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The calmer you are, regardless, the better. My child has ADHD, and sometimes I have to catch myself and realize she is picking up on my cues when we argue(I have ADHD too, so it's like we are deadlocked when she gets
angry). Of course everyone tells me that my child just needs a butt whipping, but not all children can be disciplined the exact same way. I put it on myself. If she gets to the point of screaming and throwing things, I take a step back and calm myself first, then we try to work it out. When she sees that I am calm and recognizes she can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, change begins to happen in her behavior. But like I said, not all children handle discipline the same.
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Anytime their behavior is unacceptable!!!! And the discipline should be severe enough to halt the unacceptable behavior. You just have to find what works for your child. Remember you are doing it for them not to them. :monkey:
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so she is 4 now things going little better i have learned if i ignore some things she corrects it herself
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Parents need to explain consequences to their children and choose the appropriate punishment. Not every child will need the same method, but every child needs consistency. Kids learn through their parents so if the parents aren't teaching them anything about how to behave, they won't learn how to.
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this is what i am learning this time around with carenets help they are wanderful ladies
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If she is not disciplined she will run wild when she's an adult... tell her that what she is doing is not acceptable and put her in a corner, screaming or not... she will get tired of it eventually...
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she is 4 now we do good when she stays with me but she goes to stay with her mom one night and it starts all over the misbehaving back talking and temper tantrums