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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Phx0808 on May 06, 2013, 04:18:16 am
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The following headline circulated the local media here:
AZ's suicide rate rises among middle-aged
Basically the suicide rate for people between 38 and 64 has risen dramatically. Being in that age group, I certainly understand why.
I am depressed, but no where near suicidal.
What are your thoughts on suicide?
Leave them alone and let them do it or lock them up until they can see a life ahead?
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Sorry, but you asked the question. I do not believe that either of those options are good choices. No, I would not leave them alone, but being locked up does not help their situation. I would try to get them to talk and be a friend enough to listen to see if I could figure what resources may help their situation. If their is anything I could do to ease their burden, I certainly would. If there is something they are hurting for, I would try my best to see how they could best try to get what they need, if possible.
These are tough times financially and these days are very depressing. Sometimes all we need is to know that it is rough all over and that NO ONE is really getting all the bills paid and living paycheck to paycheck is depressing but very common. It's even rougher on single parents, but if we stick together and help each other out, the sun will rise again on another day.
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A coworker of mine recently buried her cousin who drove on the train track to end her life...she left a long letter explaining why...she said she was tired of being sick...she was born with MS and had to have surgery after surgery, and was getting ready for another surgery......I'm not her so I can't begin to understand how she feel.....I'm glad she did not decide to take the lives of others who may not have been ready to die.....if a person wanna end it all, that's on them, but when they take the lives of others that's wrong....I feel sorry for the loved ones who will now grieve their loss....
There are many alternatives to ending ones life....sometimes pride gets in our way and we refuse to go to a doctor and tell them we are thinking and feeling that was....there are groups who get together and express these normal human emotions....seek help if you feel like ending it all........
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Sorry, but you asked the question. I do not believe that either of those options are good choices. No, I would not leave them alone, but being locked up does not help their situation. I would try to get them to talk and be a friend enough to listen to see if I could figure what resources may help their situation. If their is anything I could do to ease their burden, I certainly would. If there is something they are hurting for, I would try my best to see how they could best try to get what they need, if possible.
These are tough times financially and these days are very depressing. Sometimes all we need is to know that it is rough all over and that NO ONE is really getting all the bills paid and living paycheck to paycheck is depressing but very common. It's even rougher on single parents, but if we stick together and help each other out, the sun will rise again on another day.
I think it was a great response. You certainly have nothing to apologize for, and those who call you friend are very lucky indeed.
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my mom committed suicide a few years ago....a very selfish thing to do. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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I didn't want to deal with this question but I cannot walk away from it. If you are thinking of this please do not do it. I know you have probably heard this a thousand times but things will get better. Trust me. If you are thinking of hurting or killing yourself it doesn't get worse than that. I know sometimes people have issues with health that are horrible and they suffer so much from this, if you have an incurable illness or are in a lot of pain life is more precious than giving up. The thing about suicide is you'll never know how things would have turned out if you just were a more patient, if you fought just one more time. I have had some horrible times in my life and when it got too hard I cried out to God to help me and things changed. Try it, it works! :angel11:
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Suicide is a serious problem. Suicide is not the answer. If someone were suicidal, I would encourage them to seek help from a trained professional.
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My brother committed suicide at a young age because he was depressed and in alot of trouble...I don't believe you should lock them up or leave them alone,i honestly believe that you need to let them know they are not alone and that you are there for them and talk to them about the decision they are about to make and how that is not going to solve anything or make matters any better and try to show them how much heart ache they would cause with the whole situation!I wish I could have been there when my brother was in that situation because then maybe he would still be here with me today!
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People who are so depressed that they commit suicide are seriously mentally ill so suggesting that we leave them alone is one step away from suggesting that we let sick people die because they must be weak IMO. People who have severe clinical depression often don't think clearly or rationally so they can't see any alternatives to what they are doing. They need compassion and treatment (which doesn't mean just "locking them up") to help them get better, not to be ignored or blamed for their problems.
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This is a very sensitive topic for me. Actually on this exact day of last year one of my good friends ended his own life.
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I have lots of first hand knowledge about depression and anxiety. It runs in the family. If being depressed and feeling like you want to die is not bad enough, try finding help when you need it. Even those who can pay cash will often wait for weeks or months to get in to see a psychiatrist. It has happened to me over the years in two different states. I am dealing with it right now for a family member and it is maddening.
I am so sick of everyone saying: Oh what a shame, so and so killed themselves. If they had just reached out for help.....
Well, people I am here to tell you, real help that works is very hard to get. To be admitted to a mental hospital and have it covered your almost always have to say you are going to kill yourself or someone else. Otherwise, they tell you that you do not need hospitalization.
We have got to improve mental health services. It is a major problem. My heart goes out to anyone who suffers. It is absolutely like living in hell. When I was little my parents said that God sent people to hell who committed suicide. I don't believe that at all. Those people are suffering and no longer responsible for that action.
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I don't consider suicide to be an option. While reading what you are saying, I am 54 and have never been so happy or grateful to be in this world. Killing yourself does nothing except hurt your loved ones, who want to know what happened that drove you to this. I have been depressed, but suicide is not an option for me. Before choosing an option like this, you should talk to someone. Let me share this with you; my father was 31 when he passed of brain cancer. He was not a part of my life because my late grandmother and mother chose to not let him be a part of my life. He died 11 days into my 2nd birthday. For years, after turning 21, I feared I would, too die at the age of 31. Then I had my daughter, and decided I wanted to live to see her grow up, to be a grandmother, and I have seen both. Whether you believe it or not, there are better options than suicide. :angel11: :angel12: :thumbsup:
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i myself have thought it and started to take pills
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Other options sound great in theory, but try to put yourself in this situation:
You feel every minute like you are about to die. You are so anxious that words cannot describe your level of fear. You feel absolutely terrified. It never stops. People keep telling you to get a hold of yourself. They get disgusted because they don't understand why you have fear when there is nothing to fear. You call a psychiatrist for an appointment. After being told that it will cost $250 for a new patient and they don't take insurance, you agree to find a way to pay the fee, because you are so sick you have not been able to work in a few months. This makes people around you act like you are lazy. The receptionist then says that the doctor will be able to see you in six weeks. You pray with all your might that you can hang on that long.
You make it the six weeks and the doctor tells you that he is going to try a drug that might help, might not help or could actually make you worse. There are all kinds of nasty side effects. Then he tells you that if you are going to notice an improvement it will take 4-6 weeks because most psychiatric meds take a long time to work. You ask for a tranquilizer to help you sleep or make it until the medicine starts to work. The doctor denies your request because he says that he would not want to get you hooked on drugs.
Now six weeks later, the meds don't work, in fact you feel that you are worse. You pray that you would die. No one understands how horrible you feel and your friends and family won't even speak to you anymore because they are tired of you hiding out in your house and not being able to re arrange your negative thinking. You go back to the doctor and he says that now we will try a new medication and again it will take 4-5 weeks to see if it is going to help.
I went through pretty much this scenario for years. I mean like 5 years! Now you can make two choices when you can't take it anymore. You can self-medicate with alcohol or illegal drugs, or you can kill yourself. Those who make it out of this situation will tell you that you would not wish this on even your worst enemy. Mental illness is a lonely place to be. I am so sorry for those of you with family members that chose to take their lives, but please try to understand the level of pain, terror and confusion.
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I have found that people often find themselves depressed and not wanting to live because they have no purpose in life. They have lost sight of why they are here. Another thing that I have learned is that most people do not even really know why they are even here. There is never going to be a real reason to exist until we look to the Bible and see what life is all about! Scriptures tells us that we were created by God and that He wanted a relationship with us. When we sin or do something God told us not to, we break that relationship with him and we deserve death. He knew we couldn't keep His laws so He had a plan to send His son, Jesus, to take our form and live our lives and yet he never broke any of God's laws and was perfect. He allowed himself to be killed on a cross for our sins that if we believe this and ask God to forgive us and ask Him to be His, to direct and guide and serve...He will. That is when we find our purpose for this life and the one after this life. God created each of us with a great purpose but most never find it. Yes, we have to give up our ideas of what is happiness or give up what we want to follow Him....but that is where true joy and peace is and even though situations may not be happy or good, we always know God have a purpose in it and we can trust Him and serve Him anyway. Find your purpose and reason for living in Christ...you won't regret it or the live He's given you!!
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You can't stop someone from doing it if they really want to, and that's fine. You can try to be there and add the joy that they're missing, though.
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I lost my brother at age 19, 5 days befor his 20th birthday, by jumping off the local grocery store. My step father hung his self. It is real. If people reach out help if you can.I have lived with this since 1989. It never goes away it just gets different. They both had their reasons but they were alone when they took their life and a piece of mine. If they are set to do it....it will be done....We can only leave the door to communication and compassion open. Bless us all we are the survivors.
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To Phx0808 I just wanted to say thank you. And I am so sorry for the losses you all have expressed. That does have to be so hard.
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It sounds like they need support or counseling. We all get mad, depressed because we don't have a job or trouble with bills, a break up, etc. But they need support. It's terrible to see people taking their life, when we have friends/family dying from an illness and they would do anything to live.
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the only one that can help anyone thinking that way is God, if they are thinking evil thoughts then that is the devil. they need prayer fast.
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Other options sound great in theory, but try to put yourself in this situation:
You feel every minute like you are about to die. You are so anxious that words cannot describe your level of fear. You feel absolutely terrified. It never stops. People keep telling you to get a hold of yourself. They get disgusted because they don't understand why you have fear when there is nothing to fear. You call a psychiatrist for an appointment. After being told that it will cost $250 for a new patient and they don't take insurance, you agree to find a way to pay the fee, because you are so sick you have not been able to work in a few months. This makes people around you act like you are lazy. The receptionist then says that the doctor will be able to see you in six weeks. You pray with all your might that you can hang on that long.
You make it the six weeks and the doctor tells you that he is going to try a drug that might help, might not help or could actually make you worse. There are all kinds of nasty side effects. Then he tells you that if you are going to notice an improvement it will take 4-6 weeks because most psychiatric meds take a long time to work. You ask for a tranquilizer to help you sleep or make it until the medicine starts to work. The doctor denies your request because he says that he would not want to get you hooked on drugs.
Now six weeks later, the meds don't work, in fact you feel that you are worse. You pray that you would die. No one understands how horrible you feel and your friends and family won't even speak to you anymore because they are tired of you hiding out in your house and not being able to re arrange your negative thinking. You go back to the doctor and he says that now we will try a new medication and again it will take 4-5 weeks to see if it is going to help.
I went through pretty much this scenario for years. I mean like 5 years! Now you can make two choices when you can't take it anymore. You can self-medicate with alcohol or illegal drugs, or you can kill yourself. Those who make it out of this situation will tell you that you would not wish this on even your worst enemy. Mental illness is a lonely place to be. I am so sorry for those of you with family members that chose to take their lives, but please try to understand the level of pain, terror and confusion.
you just summed up my life. I know every thing you are talking about. I have bi polar and the side effects from my meds had gotten so bad that i was physically sick everyday. I went to my Dr. to switch my meds or lower the dosage and she just gives me yet another meds than just puts me to sleep. Keep in mind im already sleeping 14 hrs. a day because of my meds. I had 3 yr, old daughter i couldn't take care of cause i was sleeping or sick. all of this during the biggest nightmare of my life. i had just lost my 3 months baby girl. It nice to see someone understands how i felt even a little bit.
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Everyone in there life has thought about suicide maybe once or twice I made it through but I also had a ve ry strong support system life gets hard some people can't handel it like others we all have our ups and downs some of us make it through some of us don't
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Being a person who has contemplated it many times in my life and unsuccessfully attempted it a few years ago, I was very depressed in a wheelchair after being hit by a car, and tried to overdose, but I read the bottle of pills wrong and took the wrong ones, I would of been dead, because oxycotton would of killed me. But I believe God intervened, just like He did when I was hit by the car and left for dead on the side of the road, I shouldn't be alive but He has kept me here. I have been through alot in my life, homeless and you name it, the likes, been there..done that..but God entered and lets just say took me out of a life of drinking and all of that..we want to end it because we see nothing else, we only see what is right in front of us and think it can never get any better, just last year at this very time, I wanted to again, but wow has everything changed,,,I mean I was sleeping behind an apartment building...but God intervened again, He keeps telling me that isn't what He has planned, and I don't believe He has suicide planned for any of us, no I think you got to trust in Him to turn you around..to turn things around and let Him show you your real purpose, sometimes we may be looking in the wrong places for our purpose and that is why we keep hitting brick walls, cuz we aint supposed to be in them places...and then we think there is no where else to go but suicide because all we see is that brick wall, but if you just turn the corner and change some of your thinking and look at the bigger picture..God will show you which way to turn, no suicide isn't the answer, I mean God let me see pictures of what hell would be like because I was that ready to throw in the towel, seriously every where I looked He put things in front of me. Seven months later I am in a house and in my fourth class in college, making good grades, and on my way to something, I am forty years old and its a little late to go back, but I am not going to argue after seeing what the alternative was. Life has bad things that is what makes us strong, but you got to plow through it and know you aren't the only one standing there, I know I didn't believe at one time, until He stepped in and showed me that I was on the wrong path...did He ever!!
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I will also add my dad killed himself when I was 13 which led to my heavy drinking at the same time. What it does to your family is unimaginable. You got to pray and look to God because only He has answers for you. Suicide is not one of them, this world is rough, it bites sometimes, I mean really, but you got to hang in there. There is always something better to come when you trust and believe.
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Other options sound great in theory, but try to put yourself in this situation:
You feel every minute like you are about to die. You are so anxious that words cannot describe your level of fear. You feel absolutely terrified. It never stops. People keep telling you to get a hold of yourself. They get disgusted because they don't understand why you have fear when there is nothing to fear. You call a psychiatrist for an appointment. After being told that it will cost $250 for a new patient and they don't take insurance, you agree to find a way to pay the fee, because you are so sick you have not been able to work in a few months. This makes people around you act like you are lazy. The receptionist then says that the doctor will be able to see you in six weeks. You pray with all your might that you can hang on that long.
You make it the six weeks and the doctor tells you that he is going to try a drug that might help, might not help or could actually make you worse. There are all kinds of nasty side effects. Then he tells you that if you are going to notice an improvement it will take 4-6 weeks because most psychiatric meds take a long time to work. You ask for a tranquilizer to help you sleep or make it until the medicine starts to work. The doctor denies your request because he says that he would not want to get you hooked on drugs.
Now six weeks later, the meds don't work, in fact you feel that you are worse. You pray that you would die. No one understands how horrible you feel and your friends and family won't even speak to you anymore because they are tired of you hiding out in your house and not being able to re arrange your negative thinking. You go back to the doctor and he says that now we will try a new medication and again it will take 4-5 weeks to see if it is going to help.
I went through pretty much this scenario for years. I mean like 5 years! Now you can make two choices when you can't take it anymore. You can self-medicate with alcohol or illegal drugs, or you can kill yourself. Those who make it out of this situation will tell you that you would not wish this on even your worst enemy. Mental illness is a lonely place to be. I am so sorry for those of you with family members that chose to take their lives, but please try to understand the level of pain, terror and confusion.
you just summed up my life. I know every thing you are talking about. I have bi polar and the side effects from my meds had gotten so bad that i was physically sick everyday. I went to my Dr. to switch my meds or lower the dosage and she just gives me yet another meds than just puts me to sleep. Keep in mind im already sleeping 14 hrs. a day because of my meds. I had 3 yr, old daughter i couldn't take care of cause i was sleeping or sick. all of this during the biggest nightmare of my life. i had just lost my 3 months baby girl. It nice to see someone understands how i felt even a little bit.
Bj, I really do. It is horrible. For the last two months my son has gone through this same thing. It is so heartbreaking to try to find help for him. We are on the 4th med and 2nd psychiatrist. The first one wanted me to admit him to a psych ward against his will. He is a gentle sweet kid that is so anxious he can't eat or sleep and the doctor wanted me to slap him in a psych ward.
I, too, have bi-polar. I often wonder if I was given this road to travel so that I could reach out and try to help others. If I was not a sufferer I am not sure I would be quite as persistent and insistent on getting help for my son.
Take care, I am so sorry for what you are going through.
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@ samrhett2, :wave: :wave:
Thank you. i weened myself off my meds two years ago cause i couldnt take the side effects. and ive been able to figure out what my triggers are, i make sure i get sleeep, cause when i dont i am a basket case. and then a husband who stands behind me and takes my BS when i get in those fits. and one of the worlds best daughter. that's my angle in the pic with me. I hope you find the right help for you and your son.
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I would personally like to see statistics from suicides both attempts and successes showing what drugs the individuals were on both legal prescriptions and street drugs. I bet there would be a direct connection.
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Bigfoot, I have talked to several psychiatrists about that and their answer rings true to me. Of course most people who commit suicide will be on some sort of psychiatric medication because most of the time they were trying to get help. Why else would someone be on psychiatric medication? Lots of people feel that psychiatric meds contribute to suicide, but you must understand that everyone who is on them already has mental illness tendencies. So to say that these medications cause people to kill themselves would be like saying that chemotherapy was the cause of death for a cancer patient.
The illness is what causes the state of mind. I hear what you are saying. In some cases I think they can make people feel worse, but it is really dangerous for people to start thinking that the medications are cause. The reason why is that they have saves the lives of millions of people. People like me. If they start banning these drugs, people who suffer have no hope. As a reminder, they are supposed to be used under the direction of a physician, preferably a psychiatrist because in my experience most doctors do not know much more than I do about how they work.
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I vote for leaving them alone, or offering them alternatives, and hoping that they won't do it. With each passing day a free person's circumstances are bound to change. Meeting someone that inspres them to live, a raise at work, reveling in the accomplishments of loved ones...anything has a chance of bringing a person out of suicidal thoughts. I used to volunteer at a crisis line and our prime objective, in keeping someone from committing suicide, was to get them to verbally contract not to do it for three days. So much can happen in three days to redirect one's course of thought. Locking someone up for suicidal thoughts will only stigmatize someone and make their life worse when they are let go.
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I see suicide as an option for those who are mentally ill...even if the mental illness...is deep depression. I experienced post partum suicidal depression after my first child was born and that phase lasted for 2 years. I was motivated to survive to take care of my child so I did everything within my power to rise above that situation.
It's like being an alcoholic. The person considering suicide needs to seek help, be willing to pray and so on.....
If they officially give up and take their own life....
The only thing their loved ones can do is to grieve the loss. Just because people are invited to this party doesn't mean they are required to stay for the duration. :heart:
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The following headline circulated the local media here:
AZ's suicide rate rises among middle-aged
Basically the suicide rate for people between 38 and 64 has risen dramatically. Being in that age group, I certainly understand why.
I am depressed, but no where near suicidal.
What are your thoughts on suicide?
Leave them alone and let them do it or lock them up until they can see a life ahead?
Hello :wave: I'm sure there are a lot of people whose life are not going exactly the way they want. :sad1: :angel12: In which case suicide may come to mind. I myself have been down that road and felt death was the only way out. :angel11: The only person who was able to help me back on my feet was myself. The truth is however much we want to prevent a suicide it's up to the person to live. :'( :angel11: It's there life we can’t live there life for them. The only thing we can do is be there when they need us. :'( :angel11:
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There are so many people with problems and the need to to express their feelings, but because of the stigma that society has on people that are emotional, alot of us are inclined to hold it in until it becomes too much to handle.
You always here people with BS statements like "You just need to be stronger" or "Wow, be a man/adult and stop worrying about the small stuff", but these don't help any. People that make those kind of statements also never mention that they also get help in various situations, nobody can live life just making it on their own.
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While I personally believe that what you have said is true, even believers have times of darkness. It was very hurtful to me that my dad just thought that if my faith was stronger I could heal myself. Honestly that makes about as much sense as those who follow religions that don't believe in the use of modern medicine. I think it is unfair to suggest that if only someone was stronger in their faith that they could be healed from mental illness. That only adds to that poor person feeling guilty and worthless and flawed. As if it is all their fault.
I understand you are trying to offer a way out and into the light, but please don't think that it is always that simple, because many believers also end up committing suicide when they can no longer tolerate the pain. Unlike what my parents taught me, I believe that they are not punished eternally for being driven to end their own suffering.