I'm not a bank

[debidoo]

My son and his girlfriend owed me 3k and I had to wait a year but they paid me back yesterday.  They still have a loan against my savings for 3,500 which they are working off by cleaning for me as I am disabled - that is working out although paying the payments is digging into my income I would either way have to get someone to clean as I can't do it.  TODAY though my son asked if I would loan his girlfriend's sister $500 for 7 days because something screwed up with their income tax and now they are waiting on a IRS check.  I sold them a dishwasher last year which I had to hound them to get the 75$ for a brand new dishwasher.  I just didn't feel good about it so I said no.  Their family has like 5 incomes and I'm guessing are not good with their money.  Why do I feel like I did something wrong is what I want to know.   

[dwiley11]

wow, its time for some tough love

[vickysue]

Thee comes a time when the children nd to grow up and fend for themselves. We had to just  turn down any  requests for money or loans from my 2 stepsons. they never paid anything back and when their  father and I  agreed to not give or loan them any more they both  turned against us because of it. so be it. If they can't loved their father for who he is then that is their problem. So  we haven't seen one in 10 years and the other in 6.  I know part of the problem is their  mother. But  you know  after a time it can really get  expensive.  And  now of course  with their father having  prostate cancer they sure don't want anything to do with him.  It really hurts him but he won't give in to them.

[alina6]

I always try to keep money out of relationships. Just ruins them. Good luck.

[clickers]

In my opinion you did nothing wrong. Your spirit person nudged you not to lend the money. It's usually the right decision your spirit makes. It's your flesh saying you did something wrong.

[appy9104]

Sadly if you don't say NO,  they will never stop.  They need to learn to make choices and to prioritize.  This happens way too much.  So some tough love now is good for all.

[mapiklfish]

I agree with what others are saying.  If you don't say no now, it will continue forever.  I know, as a mom, you want to help  but, you have to make sure you are ok first.  If you want to not be reliant on them or others you have to make sure you have enough for yourself first.

[tantricia44]

time to cut the cord.

[dreamyxo]

Stop loaning money you cant afford.  Nothing wrong with saying no. 

[fillfran82]

My son and his girlfriend owed me 3k and I had to wait a year but they paid me back yesterday.  They still have a loan against my savings for 3,500 which they are working off by cleaning for me as I am disabled - that is working out although paying the payments is digging into my income I would either way have to get someone to clean as I can't do it.  TODAY though my son asked if I would loan his girlfriend's sister $500 for 7 days because something screwed up with their income tax and now they are waiting on a IRS check.  I sold them a dishwasher last year which I had to hound them to get the 75$ for a brand new dishwasher.  I just didn't feel good about it so I said no.  Their family has like 5 incomes and I'm guessing are not good with their money.  Why do I feel like I did something wrong is what I want to know.   

Hello!

Don't feel bad if you don't feel good about it then trust your instinct. When you're too nice people just take advantage of you which is not good. I know not getting the money back would make you feel worse.

[fjaz1]

You DIDN'T! They are adults and capable of working or making adjustments on their spending.  Are they buying drugs with their money, sounds like it to me.  KEEP your money for YOU

[santa7]

Know how you feel, however I do say "No" and I mean it.  Always listen to your gut feeling.  Make a decision and stick to it.  Right or wrong.  But make a decision.  I learneed that in bootcamp and kept it.

[countrygirl12]

My son and his girlfriend owed me 3k and I had to wait a year but they paid me back yesterday.  They still have a loan against my savings for 3,500 which they are working off by cleaning for me as I am disabled - that is working out although paying the payments is digging into my income I would either way have to get someone to clean as I can't do it.  TODAY though my son asked if I would loan his girlfriend's sister $500 for 7 days because something screwed up with their income tax and now they are waiting on a IRS check.  I sold them a dishwasher last year which I had to hound them to get the 75$ for a brand new dishwasher.  I just didn't feel good about it so I said no.  Their family has like 5 incomes and I'm guessing are not good with their money.  Why do I feel like I did something wrong is what I want to know.   

His girlfriend's sister?  $500?  If she can pay it back in 7 days then tell her to go to one of them payday loan places.

You did not do anything wrong.  There are all kinds of places to get a quick loan if you qualify.  Heck the pay day loan places will give money to anyone.  Does she have a car?  She can put the car up for the loan.  I don't even know you but that makes me as mad as if it were my Grandmother that they were trying to get money from.

[sbenkoski]

Sounds like  they use you all the time ,  this girl friend wasn't she some one you disliked , ??  If i disliked someone i sure wounldn't loan their family money ! Or them !! 

[debidoo]

I really appreciate everyone's answers and today I feel and know I did the right thing -  I know there are people 5 of them working in that household and I believe they just never learned to manage their money.  I figured if I had to keep after them for $75 for months for a brand new still in the box dishwasher I would never get $500 back.