For the Ladies

[MichelleHW101]

No.  I would've gone to the authorities and reported it at the time it happened.  Whether I was believed or not, I would have gotten it out in the open.  Being sexually assaulted isn't about revenge or getting even.  It's about trying to give the victim closure, and/or peace if possible.  The problem is lately people have only come out to talk about it to 'ruin' the other party and a lot of times the incident happened decades go.  My problem is, it seems people are only confessing their sexual harassment to 'ruin' their attacker rather than get closure.  I am left wondering, like with the Kavanaugh, would she even have mentioned anything about it if he wasn't up for Supreme Court Justice?  And if the answer was no, which sadly it seems this is the case, then who is really the victim here?  If she was going to keep that a secret (since it happened when they were teens) was she really affected by it?  And if she wasn't then why bother to confess in the first place?  People opposed Kavanaugh making her do it?  Is that what this has come to?  Only confess to sexual harassment if it will 'ruin' your attacker?  No.  That's the wrong message to send.  I would speak out, regardless of being heard or not, regardless of being believed or not.  That is the message that should be put out there.  Get the harassment out in the open when it happens.  It's about the victim.  Not the attacker.   

[Nancy5]

No I would not.  It happened years ago, we were both teens, so he grabbed me, is it right -no, but by bringing that up might end his career.  I could never live with myself if I was the cause.  As far as I can read, he has never been accused since, I would leave it to raging hormones in teen boys and forget it.

[squirrelgirl44]

"and ruin his entire career."

I don't get why sexual assault has to be so much about what happens to the man.

[ghunter]

If anything like that happen to me years ago,  it would be hard to remember because Iwould have reported it then and there.  It really is not fair for some and not others example:  Bill Crosby..... need I say more.

[paints]

"and ruin his entire career."

I don't get why sexual assault has to be so much about what happens to the man.

Because women don't matter. 

[bshee58]

His career was ruined when he decided to put his hands on someone that didn't want him too, he chose to grope a female without her permission, so he should be held accountable for his actions, no what a career he is in, its wrong, its sexual harassment, he should be arrested. A man does not have the right to grope any woman, if he isn't married to her, in a sexual relationship with, not even if it's in a playful way.

[catchow]

I never get why people wait 30-40 years later to say something. Im not saying it happened or it didnt, just why wait all this time

[Segun15]

If some one grobed me 36 years ago i wouldn't even bother to report it. If you didn't do it then what the point in doing it now

[countrygirl12]

If a man had put his hand over your mouth and groped you (whatever that means) 36 years ago in High School, would you step out of the shadows and ruin his entire career by making it public?

It means he felt her up.  He put his hands on her and was touching her.

First off, she is lying. She is being paid to do this. And even if something did happen it was almost 40 years ago and the statute of limitations are long gone.  Even rape is only a year.  If she had a problem she should have said something then.  This is foolish and sickening that it keeps happening.

Unless it has happened to you, you can have NO idea how you would react.  She deserves to be heard no matter how many years ago it was, she is not pressing charges, she wants the world to know what happened.   What proof do you have that she is lying and being paid???   It is unfair to judge anyone before they are heard.   

You do not know what has happened to me. And I do know how I could act or react. No, I would not start something to ruin somebody's life 40 years after it happened.  She didn't want the WORLD to know until he was in a big political position.  If he was a democrat then this would not be an issue and be shoved down everybody's throat.  IT is a he said she said thing.  There are also people who remember being at this "party" and said she was a drunken hoe and that she had been with over 20 men.  I believe that.  You weren't there.  All you are doing is believing the people you want to that are talking.  I believe the ones I want to.  And I do not believe anybody that is a democrat talking trash about the Republicans.

[countrygirl12]

I can understand not reporting something like that for various reasons, but this reeks of dishonesty. What he is alleged to have done has been wrong for nearly 40 years, why come out of the woodwork just now except for $$ or political gain.

There are many reasons women do not report sexual assault.  We need to remember she was a teenager and at a party where drinking was going on without any supervision.  Women can feel guilty, especially in a society that can, at times, blame the women who are attacked.  Just take a look at the responses on this board, because of people's political beliefs folks are claiming she was paid.  Why would anyone report a sexual attack.  She is receiving death threats and the psychological ramifications aren't anything I would want to go through.   Why are people judging her story, because they have a different political view.   Like I said in another  post, unless you have been through it you shouldn't be judging why she waited.

So he was a teenager also.  You are mad because other people believe him.  It has come out that she is being paid. You do not believe that but others do.  He said he didn't do it. I believe him.  She is trying to ruin his life and you seem to think that is okay.  It's funny she didn't care until he was nominated to be on the Supreme Court. The democrats are lying, cheating, and doing everything they can to keep Republicans from being a part of the government.  So she is receiving death threats?  BIG DEAL.  So is he.  But you don't see anything wrong with that.  You are doing the same thing you are accusing others of doing.

It is the same with the crap with Bill Cosby.  I don't believe them either.  They used him to further their career.  They weren't forced to do anything.  Again, you can believe which ever side you want and I can do the same. And no, I don't like Bill Cosby. Never did.  But I don't think it is right to try to get somebody in trouble 40 that is FORTY years after something supposedly happened.

[countrygirl12]

Absolutely. People are who they are by the time they leave high school.

It's telling that you're concerned with his life, but not a word of concern about hers.

Kavanaugh's life won't be ruined, if he's not confirmed. He simply won't be a Supreme Court justice.

No you actually aren't.  Most people change quite a bit after high school.  So I can turn what you say around and say you are concerned with her life but not his.  And yes, it is ruining his life.  Crap like this never goes away.  There was a woman who lived behind me a few years ago.  The woman beside of me came and told me a bunch of bad stuff about her.  And to this day, if I see her I think about that.  I never really knew her but I am just saying once stuff is put out there it doesn't go away.  True or not.  And it has been 40 years.  There is no way to prove anything one way or the other.  I don't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday let alone a party I went to 20 years ago.

Her classmates say she was a drunken hoe.  She bragged about being with over 20 men.  I believe that.  He said he didn't do what she is claiming.  I believe that.  YOU believe her and what she said.

Stuff like this just further divides our country.  And the more drama like this gets attention the more it is going to happen.  If you have not said anything for 40 years then don't say anything now.  She is being paid by the democrat party to cause problems.

[countrygirl12]

so what if i ruined his career. who cares if  it will ruin his life what about the years she spent hiding it . and what are we teaching our children . 

So you think it is okay to tell lies and ruin somebody's career or life?  She has no proof of anything.  She just came up and said she was drunk at a party and he touched her.  Well buttercup you should not have been drunk at a party.  Accept some personal responsibility here.

I assume you are okay with what her classmates are saying about her.  That she was always drunk? That she was a sl---ut? That she bragged about being with over 20 guys?   It is the same difference.  That makes her look bad.  But I would guess you think that is lies and people should not say that. 

This country is ridiculous anymore.

[countrygirl12]

No.  I would've gone to the authorities and reported it at the time it happened.  Whether I was believed or not, I would have gotten it out in the open.  Being sexually assaulted isn't about revenge or getting even.  It's about trying to give the victim closure, and/or peace if possible.  The problem is lately people have only come out to talk about it to 'ruin' the other party and a lot of times the incident happened decades go.  My problem is, it seems people are only confessing their sexual harassment to 'ruin' their attacker rather than get closure.  I am left wondering, like with the Kavanaugh, would she even have mentioned anything about it if he wasn't up for Supreme Court Justice?  And if the answer was no, which sadly it seems this is the case, then who is really the victim here?  If she was going to keep that a secret (since it happened when they were teens) was she really affected by it?  And if she wasn't then why bother to confess in the first place?  People opposed Kavanaugh making her do it?  Is that what this has come to?  Only confess to sexual harassment if it will 'ruin' your attacker?  No.  That's the wrong message to send.  I would speak out, regardless of being heard or not, regardless of being believed or not.  That is the message that should be put out there.  Get the harassment out in the open when it happens.  It's about the victim.  Not the attacker.   

If she had said something when it happened then okay.  The issue is bringing it up 40 years later.  But when you get drunk at a party and go in to a bedroom with a guy then you can't cry assault. There is also a thing called personal responsibility.  I know a situation where a girl and a guy met in a bar. BOTH were drunk. BOTH left together, went to a motel, had sex. She cried rape the next day and he goes to the pen. That is not fair.  He did not rape her.  She had sex willingly.  Maybe she wouldn't have if she was not drunk but they were both drunk. So he didn't take advantage of her.  Lesson learned is don't get drunk and do things you don't know what you are doing.

[countrygirl12]

"and ruin his entire career."

I don't get why sexual assault has to be so much about what happens to the man.

It is only so much about what happens to the man when the female is lying. Yeah you say that I don't know she is lying. Well you don't know she is telling the truth either.

[countrygirl12]

His career was ruined when he decided to put his hands on someone that didn't want him too, he chose to grope a female without her permission, so he should be held accountable for his actions, no what a career he is in, its wrong, its sexual harassment, he should be arrested. A man does not have the right to grope any woman, if he isn't married to her, in a sexual relationship with, not even if it's in a playful way.

You act like this happened last week. They were at a party together where I would assume they were all drinking. She went in to the bedroom willingly with him (according to HER).

I seriously wonder if it was a democrat being accused of this if it would be such an issue?  Probably not.  Heck Clinton supposedly assaulted a woman while in office IN THE OVAL OFFICE and nobody cared.  Of course I don't believe her either.  She wasn't forced to do anything.  IT was just convenient for her to tell it later.  Otherwise she would have said something then and quit her HIGH PAYING JOB!