how can you best help someone who puts themself down

[Katie_thehappywife]

my husband puts himself down a lot it breaks my heart. he has very low self esteem and says bad things about himself. I know he was treated horribly by his mother and all his siblings.  I really want to build him up. yesterday his brother gave him pictures of himself he asked me why I would want to keep any pictures of him. that made me really sad. he calls himself names and says hes worthelss, useless etc. when he works very hard to take care of us. accepted my daughter as his own. it takes a special person to do that.

[surveypro2016]

Give him positive praise whenever possible. Tell him he looks nice, thank him for doing something for you, etc. Just don't go overboard. Be sincere. Make sure he knows he is loved both by words and actions.
My father had his shoulder fused when he was 12 and he cannot raise his left arm. When he met my step-mother, he was extremely self-concious about it as his mother called him a "freak" when he was growing up. My step mother looked at him and said we all have problems; you have that and I am fat. It's no big deal! lol He eventually overcame the stigma of it. There is nothing that man can't do!!!

[hitch0403]

Math 11:28

New Living Translation
Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

[madeara]

Your husband sounds like a great guy.  I am sorry he has been mistreated.  It is important that you do your  best to help, support and encourage him, especially during difficult times and situations.  I will certainly keep you both in my prayers.

[JaniceSW]

Give him positive praise whenever possible. Tell him he looks nice, thank him for doing something for you, etc. Just don't go overboard. Be sincere. Make sure he knows he is loved both by words and actions.
My father had his shoulder fused when he was 12 and he cannot raise his left arm. When he met my step-mother, he was extremely self-concious about it as his mother called him a "freak" when he was growing up. My step mother looked at him and said we all have problems; you have that and I am fat. It's no big deal! lol He eventually overcame the stigma of it. There is nothing that man can't do!!!

I believe this is pretty good advice.  Have a serious talk sometime about how he has internalized things his parents told him and how they treated him.  Let him know that when people in such important roles as parents belittle us we tend to internalize it more than other people.  After all, our parents are suppose to love us and support us.  Let him know that his parents are the ones in the wrong and he needs to try to understand what a really good, nice human being he is. Use sincerity as stated in the prior advice.  He does sound like a nice guy who needs to know nice guys don't necessarily come in last, and in your book, he's first!

[countrygirl12]

my husband puts himself down a lot it breaks my heart. he has very low self esteem and says bad things about himself. I know he was treated horribly by his mother and all his siblings.  I really want to build him up. yesterday his brother gave him pictures of himself he asked me why I would want to keep any pictures of him. that made me really sad. he calls himself names and says hes worthelss, useless etc. when he works very hard to take care of us. accepted my daughter as his own. it takes a special person to do that.

All you can do is not say negative things and if you hear him saying things encourage him to not believe that to be true.  You cannot make him change what he believes. It may happen but won't happen over night.

[makeblessed]

That is heart breaking, try and give him a lot of positive reinforcement; sometimes compliments in a sincere way  for even  the smallest things can go a long way; he sounds like a wonderful person!

[Nancy5]

Praise him for even the smallest things he does.  Tell him how much you love and care for him.  I’m sorry his family made him feel the way he does, but it sounds like he has a great family now.  I think in time you can change him to overcome his bad feelings.  He has to be special if you fell in love with him, and he accepted your daughter as his own.  Good luck and keep us posted.