Sad. depressed and lost

[ajamimajida]

Three weeks ago my 28 year old  daughter who had her life ahead of her decided to take he own life.I do not understand why she did it.  We spoke nightly and most times it would it would be all nght about 10 hours.  She never gave me a clue of being unhappy in this life.

I am lost, confused, and depressed over losing her.  She was my second daughter that I lost.  My other daughter drowned at age 5.  All I have left is a son who is 32 and just got married.  But he is more depressed than my other 2 were.  I am terrified that I am going to lose all my kids and I do not know what to do or how to go on with my life.  I have no grandchildren and I wish I did.  At least I would have something from my kids.

If anyone has any ideas how I can handle this without completely lose my mind and follow my kids than please give me suggestions.  Right now I feel hopeless and no reason to live for .

[JaniceSW]

I really don't know what to say.  Please get professional help for yourself and encourage your son to join you.  Also, contact a hospital, funeral home, or any organization you think might know of grief support groups in your area.

This is a process that will take a long time.  Give yourself permission to grieve.  Go through the process.  There is a book I read a long time ago called "When Bad Things Happen To Good People."  Maybe start there.  Go to your local library and ask for books about grief.  Know what you might expect and maybe how others have gotten through it.  Go online and look up organizations.  There might be things you can do online anonymously.  Share everything with your son if at all possible.  Tell him how you need to be there for each other.  Now is the time.

I wish I could say some magic words that would take your heartache away.  Unfortunately, there are none.  But maybe sharing and helping others in each and every way possible will help.

[kimber62372]

Oh my, I just want to hug you!! That is such a tremendous loss and I would not even know what it is like to lose a child. I would definitely agree with JanicSW about seeking professional help and ask your son to go with you for the support of each other. Definitely do some research online. I am so sorry that you are going through this and please know that all of us here at FC are here if you need someone to talk to. I will pray for your comfort and hoping it will ease the pain but please know that she will always be with you and your child that passed at 5 yrs old as well. May God guide you through the rest of your journey this path he has chosen for you. Now is the time to be close to your son and cherish him and he must do the same with you. Prayers and hugs to you! xo 

[nannycoe1]

Prayers for you

[Nancy5]

I have to agree with the other posts, please take all the professional help you can get.  I am so very sorry for your loss and wish there were words that could make it better, but there aren't.  No one can see what other people are thinking, perhaps she was more depressed than she let on.  I agree with kinder, I wish I could hug you and take some pain away.  Just always think only good thoughts about her, and remember you are in NO way responsible for her death.  Good luck, God bless you, and please keep us posted on how you are doing.

[Bonami]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I do not know what to say except to get the support you need. I was not even going to respond to this post due to the intensity of your loss but ... my positive thoughts to you.

[rghvac69]

Lean on God and family. That is what I did to cope with losing a loved one.

[dsosnowski06]

Sorry for your loss and prayers being sent.  We never really truly know what someone is thinking or going thru. 

[debidoo]

I am so sorry to hear that you have these problems.  I do not know your beliefs but the only thing that gives me hope in life is my spiritual beliefs.  I can't imagine how hard all this is on you.  My oldest son is deeply depressed and I have my own depression issues over losing my mom and my husband of 34 years.  I hope you are not offended by an offer to pray for you that God will give you peace and comfort through these difficult and heart breaking situations.

[PGS28]

I pray for your well being.

[countrygirl12]

Three weeks ago my 28 year old  daughter who had her life ahead of her decided to take he own life.I do not understand why she did it.  We spoke nightly and most times it would it would be all nght about 10 hours.  She never gave me a clue of being unhappy in this life.

I am lost, confused, and depressed over losing her.  She was my second daughter that I lost.  My other daughter drowned at age 5.  All I have left is a son who is 32 and just got married.  But he is more depressed than my other 2 were.  I am terrified that I am going to lose all my kids and I do not know what to do or how to go on with my life.  I have no grandchildren and I wish I did.  At least I would have something from my kids.

If anyone has any ideas how I can handle this without completely lose my mind and follow my kids than please give me suggestions.  Right now I feel hopeless and no reason to live for .

You talked on the phone all night (10 hours) every night?  What in the world could you talk about for that long?

You will never understand why she committed suicide.  No one ever does.  You said something about her being in jail and from what I got from your comments it sounded like she may be facing some jail time.   Sometimes people think killing themselves is better than what they are going thru or facing.  Like some of the kids bullied at school that kill themselves because it is the only way to make it stop.   I also know of times when somebody killed themselves because something was fixing to be made public that they didn't want to deal with.  (Like the guy that had been accused of something sexual with a kid at his school)

You can't sit and wallow in self pity or feel guilty.  It is not your fault.  She made a choice.  And there is nothing you could have done.  You also cannot worry all the time that your son will die.  Sometimes bad things happen.  It is just how it is.

Have you ever thought about volunteering as a "big sister" or something like that with needy kids in your area?
Or volunteering at a nursing home?  There are people there that never have a visitor.   Do you go to church any where?  Do you not have any other family other than your one son?  Maybe some nieces or nephews?  I know even if they are there it doesn't mean they will be there for you.  I don't know if you work but you could also get a part time job some where.  Just something to get out of the house.   I can also tell you sitting at home alone and being online all day can make you depressed even if you aren't already going thru stuff.

If you just sit at home and think about all the bad things in your life then you will never feel better.  And you should never think you have nothing left to live for. 

[cateyes1]

I pray for your peace of mind. I am so sorry for your loss, like others have said please go and talk with someone.

[sherryinutah]

I understand what it means to be grief stricken and your depression is definitely justified.  I would suggest that you see a counselor who might also be able to prescribe medication for depression.

Sometimes we all need to reach out for help.  I wish you the best with this and with everything.   

[countrygirl12]

I understand what it means to be grief stricken and your depression is definitely justified.  I would suggest that you see a counselor who might also be able to prescribe medication for depression.

Sometimes we all need to reach out for help.  I wish you the best with this and with everything.   

I would be careful with the medication.  That stuff IS addictive no matter what they tell you.  And it is HARD to get off of it.

[adriarobi]

I lost a son a few years back. He was 42.  He had a fatal heart attack, because he was not taking care of himself.

It will always be with you. I am sorry for you. I will pray. God alone kept me from going crazy when this happened.

Please take previous advice to talk to a professional person, and do take your son with you. You can encourage each other.

Again, I will pray for you. the God in heaven will hear. You pray also.