Facebook comments

[o2bnocn]

I know how tempting it can be to reply to all the haters and shade throwers. I was on fb on got off because of this reason. So many people saying such hurtful things and forcing their opinion on you. The last post I read was by my sister who was making the claim that everyone on assistance or any social program are just lazy people who do not want to work. I guess she feels as though she has this right because she started working a few months ago and can no longer get the welfare she has been living off of for most of her life. She easily could turn this negative post into something positive by encouraging people that they too can get off public assistance. You'll eventually through determination and really trying can pull yourself up and that she is living proof. I guess it's more fun for her to take people down than to offer any hope. I'm not on public assistance, but I do know that applying and keeping it can feel like a full time job. It's there to serve a purpose. Everyone at one point or another will need help of some kind. It's these senseless, blanket statements that drove me away from fb. There are enough problems and negativity in the world naturally without intentionally creating it regardless of your opinion. So I avoid to my best ability all negativity and try to promote positive thought that in turn create positive actions. 

You understand exactly where I'm coming from. This is similar to the comments that was posted regarding my posts that I shared. The comment came from someone who needs help but thinks and believes everyone else should never get help. The person also made comments saying that younger people who can work shouldn't get any help, basically making it about elder versus younger just because she has someone older in her family that needs help. It's a difficult topic to discuss to begin with but I really didn't appreciate how selfish she was being. The person is always saying that others shouldn't receive help then she is mad because she can't get help because they own too much assets and money in their accounts. That is why they cannot get the help. That type of help is not there for those type of people. Anyway, I agree with you... I try to remain positive and avoid those negative comments but I still stand up for myself at the same time. I also didn't appreciate how my comments were twisted such as words being taken as benefits and help which are not the same. When I explained myself saying benefits are not help, they are something people work for then the comments went quiet. I guess we will both just have to learn how to handle these situations in a respectful manner no matter what they say because some people will never change.

[o2bnocn]

It largely depends what it is I'm sharing, but if it is something I know can cause a firestorm between opposing views I will post it without my personal views (to avoid bias as much as possible and to encourage multiple views to be shared) and add a disclaimer to it that says that I appreciate my friends and family discussing and debating the topic but to please keep in mind that it is something I posted on my wall and personal attacks on each other will not be tolerated.

So people get fair warning, and if something hateful and uncalled for is posted I reply to that comment and ask them to remove it or I will remove it for them - no need to necessarily unfriend when you have the option to delete comments - and for the most part people comply and apologize without issue, but I have had people unfriend me because they didn't like that I enforced being civil to someone they didn't necessarily agree with.

Heated debating is one thing, being a hateful jerk is another.

Good for you! It's definitely difficult when people know how to debate and make personal comments toward another knowing full well that it is directed toward a person without fully publicly saying it and it's hidden. Hope this makes sense, I just know a few too many people that do this all too well!

[cathy37]

Fortunately I have not had to deal with the type of situation.  I don't know how I would handle this.  I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings because I don't like getting my feelings hurt.

[braggin]

I agree that Facebook is DEFINITELY not the place to start drama. Ignore it and only bring the subject up on the telephone with the relative in question. There is no point in hanging out your dirty laundry on Facebook for all your Friends to see.

[Segun15]

i just ignor  it then i deal with it when they come over

[dsosnowski06]

Had this happened with members in my family too.  I stayed out of it and told the parties they need to call each other and work it.  No sense in everyone knowing their business.

[NicoleFusion]

It's hard for me not to reply, but I know it is best not to....

[o2bnocn]

It's hard for me not to reply, but I know it is best not to....

Yeah that is my struggle as well.

[ancmetro]

     Ignore them...avoid them!

[Jayce2013]

There's a lot of options... you could just delete what they wrote if you think it is inappropriate and you don't want other people to read it as well...
you should approach that family member personally (phone, sms..)... people use FB in a wrong way...

Or if you want other people to know you don't agree, just answer publicly... or else, ignore... but if you do ignore, no one will know you are not happy with what was written, not even the person who wrote that.... and that is not fair to you (because it will always bother you), nor to the person that has no clue about being disrespectful... they need to know how you feel about it.

Confront and be honest to yourself, you don't ever go wrong with that... not even if you hurt other people... they'll get over it (or not)
 

[taj75657]

I don't have a lot of family that comments on anything.  Usually the only time hear from them on there is when they want something.

Same goes for me. My father passed away in September 2013 from cancer. Prior to that I would see my siblings occasionally at his house and it would be a nice visit. After his passing they both said they wanted to start doing things together and enjoy each other as he wanted, but I haven't heard a thing from either one even when I would post or email an invite, It would get ignored. But as soon as they have a problem it's all over the place with emails and posts and requests that turn into a poor me situation and "it must be nice for you who doesn't have to ask for help from us"   It's not that I don't at times need help even if just the connection, but I don't bother because they hate me when they are doing okay and need me when they've exhausted their circle of friends and family.

[jenniferhoder]

I just ignore most of it; people take things out of text all the time.

[sherryinutah]

When you post or share something on Facebook and a family member or person makes a comment and twists it around, do you reply or ignore? How do you handle those comments? It makes it difficult because I want to stand up for myself but I don't want to start drama.

I follow my heart.  If I think they misunderstood I might use different words to make my point and I don't get too wrapped up in needing someone else to approve of my point of view.

[catchow]

I only use my facebook to follow companies for coupons, and a few freebie sites, and 2 other people one a cousin, one a best friend

I always feel that if I post something then others have the right to comment

[kimber62372]

It's best to ignore the comments and move on! I am the same way but I know it's being the bigger person to just ignore it and let them make an a$$ out of themselves! lol