I need your advice! My husband and I have been married for 11 years now. We are a "normal" couple and are happy most of the time. We have disagreements like any other couple, but we hate confrontation. My inlaws, brother-in-law, and his girlfriend are in town and staying in our home. My mother in law and I have never gotten along. She has always blamed me for stealing her "baby" and all that nonsense. She constantly bad-mouths me to anyone that will listen but is not bold enough to speak to me about issues she may have. She has actually made up numerous lies over the years to try to split he and I up. She actually got into my face last Christmas shaking her finger at me as if I were a child...no, I am not kidding. It was all I could do not to punch her lights out! My husband was standing to my left and said and did nothing.
Well she is once again here and the problems began the evening they arrived. She has been trying to keep us apart and trying to maipulate him with lies. My husband is diabetic and they encourage him to consume LARGE amounts of alcohol anytime they are around. Needless to say the FIRST night they were here he was trashed beyond belief! I know that he is an adult and makes his own choices, but when you wave a carrot at a horse long enough, he will bite. The next evening he was within minutes of going into diabetic coma when his sugar dropped below 40. I ran to a neighbors for help (she is an RN) and then called 911. Fortunately, they were able to bring his sugar levels back to normal in a matter of minutes, but it was still scary none the less. After the ambulance had left the mother in law started saying things like "I sure am glad we were here, she was going to let you die," and "You need to move back up north so your real family can take care of you," notice the words you all never came out of her mouth. She told him that I did not care that he was ill and did nothing to help him. She said I spent my time looking aound the house for car keys! I did look for car keys for a few minutes, but only becuse I needed to take him to the hospital! I feel that is a normal reaction to a crisis. His doctor told him to take the next four days and rest and relax, yet his family has him running all over the coast doing nonsense for them and he has had no rest since the incident. That should tell him how much they care about him!
She also tries to convince him that I am cheating on him with every man I come into contact with and has made up NUMEROUS stories about men being in our home when he is away on business even though she lives over 1000 miles away from us! She even had him convinced our son was not his but was one of our neighbors! I nipped that in the bud real quick when I offered to get a paternity test. I made darn sure that it was done too. Guess what, I WAS telling the truth, like I always do. Even after the test she still claims that I fixed the results by switching the saliva from my husbands to the real father! I have never even been intimate with another person!
Needless to say my family does not like his family because they allow her to treat me in that manner without putting a stop to it, in fact they feed into her deceptions by trying to keep me aaway while she lies to my husband! It is not a healthy environment for anyone involved and has really put a strain on our relationship. I do not want to come between my husband and his mother, nor have I stolen him from them. He is a grown man and needs to cut the apron strings if you ask me!
I really do not even like discussing his family with him and I should not feel that way! We should be able to sit down and discuss our concerns like adults, but he constantly defends her and accuses ME of making things up just because SHE is right and I should be a better wife! I am truly at my whitts end. I cannot continue to be in a marriage where I am always under scrutiny and my word is questioned when she says anything. I am not a liar or a cheater and am tired of being treated as such. I also do not want them staying in our home because they treat m like their personal chef and maid and criticize EVERYTHING I do. Seriously, this woman refuses to address me using my name! She calls me a slang term for a female dog in heat and my husband does nothing! She even accused me of stealing money out of our joint checking account! I could really go on for days about the things this woman puts me through. After all, it has been 15 years of pure heck!
I am the only woman who has ever stayed with my husband for more than a few months. All of the others were quickly run off by mommy dearest. She also made up rediculous stories about them, which at first I believed, but now that I really know her and a few of them, I know these stories were all bold faced lies too. I do not know what to do at this point. She treats her youngest son's girlfriend with a LOT of respect and they are like best buddies and that is like adding salt to the wound. She seems to put the young lady on a pedestal and she and I are a lot alike. She is a nice young lady, but they have only been dating like three months!
I am the one who gave her a grandchild and I am the one who has put up with her nonsense, yet I am the one treated as though I am not worthy of a bucket of water if I were on fire. I think my biggest downfall was telling her that she was a liar to her face when I walked in on a bashing session they were having about me. I did that in front of her friends, but she was telling horrible lies about me, yet again and I was not going to stand for it any longer! I seem to be the only person with the guts to stand up to her and not allow her to intimidate me!
I am honestly thinking about packing up myself and our child and leaving my husband. That will solve nothing and I know it. That will cause undue grief to our child, stress on us, and SHE will have gotten her way yet again. I really love my husband. He lights up my world like no one else can ever do. I cannot imagine living my life in misery when she is around though! Does anyone out there have any words of advice or wisdom they could share?? I would appreciate anything you have because I am out of options at this point. My father keeps telling me that if my husband truly loved me and had any respect for me that he would not allow that tpye of behavior to continue from his mother and I agree, but how do I fix it? (Killing her is NOT an option lol.) Would you stay in a relationship under these circumstances or would you gracefully bow out? All I am asking for is the respect I am due. Is that too much? Seriously, I could be one of those gold diggers who tries to hire someone to kill her son, but no, I do everything in my power to make his life easier and happier, because I love him...and I am not a nut case like those other ladies. Medication does not help either, plus the doctor will not prescribe me anymore since he knows I am really not depressed or crazy. I have sent our son to my parents for the remainder of their stay and I am going to check into a hotel, but again it is not fair that the she devil run me out of my own home, the child is okay because he loves my parents since they treat him like a human being and allow him to have fun. I have another week of her junk and I really don't think I can take it!! HELP!!!!
Community Forum
Topic: Mother-in-Law Madness (Read 8972 times)
May 08, 2011, 05:17:30 am
