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Topic: Mothers day painful for anyone?  (Read 3963 times)

sgluckadoo

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Mothers day painful for anyone?
« on: May 09, 2015, 03:25:20 pm »
I have essentially lost my mother to mental illness associated with dementia and breast cancer. I am also unable to have a child of my own or adopt, so it seems a bitter day to me.

sherryinutah

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2015, 04:48:47 pm »
That's understandable.  Even mom's who have children might find that Mother's Day is a difficult day if they've always felt unappreciated.  That's why I recommend that ALL women celebrate the day by doing something nice for their selves.  I plan to take myself out to dinner whether my children acknowledge me or not.  It's important that we be honest with ourselves.

Have a great day, everyone.   :heart:
Have a great day!

loulizlee

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2015, 05:33:07 pm »
It is for me.  My mother passed away just after Mothers' Day in 1973, and it is always a bit sad for me.

madeara

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2015, 05:38:38 pm »
Yes, it's sad for my mom.  Her mom passed in 2010.  We still miss Granny so very much.
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linderlizzie

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2015, 05:44:03 pm »
I'm not a big fan of Mother's Day, but it's not painful.

I used to celebrate it for my mom and my mother-in-law's sake. They are both gone now so it's just not so fun for me anymore. My children will acknowledge me, I'm sure, but I like to do it for others.  :notworthy:

pkrahmer

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2015, 05:46:00 pm »
i can relate to that. However with me it is my father that passed away 4 years ago. Fathers day was really tough in the beginning it  is getting a little easier to manage as the years go by. There seem to be more happy memories as the years go by. :rainbow: :rainbow: :rose:
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countrygirl12

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2015, 04:54:08 am »
I have essentially lost my mother to mental illness associated with dementia and breast cancer. I am also unable to have a child of my own or adopt, so it seems a bitter day to me.

It's sad that they make it so unreal hard to adopt.  In my state it is upwards of $30,000 to adopt a kid.  That's crazy.  Dementia is a horrible thing to have to go thru or to watch your family go thru.  I remember last year I worked on Mother's Day and everybody telling me Happy Mother's Day and by the end of the day it was getting on my nerves.  I don't say that to people I don't know.  You don't know their situation or what they are going thru.

countrygirl12

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2015, 04:55:19 am »
It is for me.  My mother passed away just after Mothers' Day in 1973, and it is always a bit sad for me.

I think it would be sad no matter how long ago it had been if you lost a parent.

Sendmicheck

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2015, 05:41:20 am »
Mother's Day is for love and appreciation.  My heart goes to you for your lost and not able to have a child of your own or adoption.  You can be a godmother to child and that is being a mother.

PGS28

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2015, 08:01:10 am »
I am so sorry to hear this.  Have you tried changing your perspective?  Instead of thinking about the ailments that are overtaking your mother, could you possibly find comfort in the fact that for now she's still physically present? It may also help to reminisce on the good times you had with her. 

PGS28

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2015, 08:02:14 am »
Right on! I took this approach on Valentine's Day this year- why wait for someone to do something nice for me, I'm worth treating myself. 

That's understandable.  Even mom's who have children might find that Mother's Day is a difficult day if they've always felt unappreciated.  That's why I recommend that ALL women celebrate the day by doing something nice for their selves.  I plan to take myself out to dinner whether my children acknowledge me or not.  It's important that we be honest with ourselves.

Have a great day, everyone.   :heart:

PGS28

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2015, 08:04:07 am »
I have essentially lost my mother to mental illness associated with dementia and breast cancer. I am also unable to have a child of my own or adopt, so it seems a bitter day to me.

I had no idea it was so expensive to adopt.  In fact, I was under the impression that it's easier to adopt these days because it's no longer (technically) required for a possible adoptive parent to be married.  It's the kids missing out the most; there are parents that really want to love them and are being prevented from doing so smh

It's sad that they make it so unreal hard to adopt.  In my state it is upwards of $30,000 to adopt a kid.  That's crazy.  Dementia is a horrible thing to have to go thru or to watch your family go thru.  I remember last year I worked on Mother's Day and everybody telling me Happy Mother's Day and by the end of the day it was getting on my nerves.  I don't say that to people I don't know.  You don't know their situation or what they are going thru.

Tresbn00

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2015, 09:21:06 am »
I am sorry to hear that you have had that experience happen to you.  Losing a mother under those circumstances sounds like such a sad way to conclude a relationship. One of the people who responded to this was so positive and I really appreciated the response.  Treat yourself to something special on this day.  Regardless of children that may not be there you deserve the day. Carpe diem-seize the day.  Enjoy what life has to offer you, relish in every breath of air and glow of warmth from the sun. I worked in restaurants every mother's day when I was in college and was absolutely amazed at how much anger and selfishness would be exhibited. The restaurants were always crowded because, it seems, the people didn't even want their mothers to be a part of their home life.  I vowed that I wouldn't take my mother or wife out to eat for Mother's day unless they really wanted to...opting instead to have the family at home and make dinner for all (and clean the dishes).

carolhall1031

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #13 on: May 10, 2015, 05:31:05 pm »
I lost my daughter two years ago.  She always made Mother's Day so special for me.

ricdsm

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Re: Mothers day painful for anyone?
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2015, 05:57:25 pm »
I understand how it can be painful for others.  As for me, I enjoy the memories and the important people that make the day special for me.
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