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Topic: i need help....anyone.....please  (Read 1936 times)

camellia0

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2014, 02:30:41 pm »
You need to kick his butt to the curb. If he did it 2 times, no telling when he's gonna do it again. If he cheated, there's a reason why, I'm assuming not happy in the home, and if you don't know what the problem is, then you can't discuss it with him, so he's open t0 do do it again, and you don't need to wonder what he's doing everytime he's not around you. You don't need that headache.

bowrunner

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2014, 02:55:21 pm »
Since it's with 2 different people I think I would kick him out if you can afford to.  It's not as though he loves someone else.  He's probably trying to prove to himself that he is still able to attract women. 

angelofnight

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2014, 04:16:36 pm »
give him time... if he still does it kick his butt out he married you for a reason there is no excuse on him betraying his vows to the woman he loved for many years.. best of luck

crisstar

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2014, 04:55:49 pm »
If you caught him, then odds are he would still be cheating on you if you hadn't caught him. If he confessed to you on his on accord, maybe he's feeling a lot of remorse and guilt. So, it depends on where he's at in his heart with this.

On face value, I'd say you need to start putting yourself in a better financial situation if you have no income coming in. I wish you well with this. :thumbsup:
Your income is directly related to your philosophy, NOT the economy. - Jim Rohn

ancmetro

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2014, 04:57:52 pm »

   It is a tough situation!

bremer51

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2014, 06:13:58 pm »
If he is sincerely sorry and you believe him, you should go to a counselor.  Trust that is broken takes a lot of time and work to rebuild.  If you think his infidelity is habitual, poison his dinner.  Kidding on that.  But you don't need to live and love a man who is so disrespectful of the marital commitment.

minioncookies

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #21 on: May 04, 2014, 06:32:53 pm »

All i have to say is if it happens once it will happen again. Just like if a woman or a man abuses/walks all over you they will always do it again. Make no Mistake History always repeats itself. You can belive their stories on how sorry they are or how they won't do it again but i can promise you one thing it will most deffinetly happen again. You can't change a person's character you may can change a person's personality but their character will always remain with them.
  I would also suggest you think about the diffrent kinds of people you are sleeping with. Say for instince.. The 2 people you know of that he is sleeping with.. How many people are they sleeping with? When you think about it you can also think about the diffrent types of diseases you can get while your spouce is sleeping around. Do you really want to put your own life in risk for something your spouse is doing?
  As far as councler or priest that is your decision. YOu can choose to waste money and time on something that odds are won't help or change anything. Or you can walk away... Save yourself from dissapoinment and a continuous circle of wondering.. and heartbreak.. I would run for the hills but this is just my opinion.. Good Luck!

demaina

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #22 on: May 04, 2014, 06:45:15 pm »
Honestly, it's up to you.  I would probably leave if I were you, but it depends on the type of relationship you have with him.  I don't take betrayals lightly though, so that's mostly why I'd be out of there, especially if it is still going on.  I might be able to forgive once if they came out to you and felt bad about it, but since it may be more, it doesn't sound like he really cares about you.

You can always sit him down and see if there is a reason why he's doing this.  Figure out if there is a way for you to get past it and what you both can do so to avoid this type of situation again in the future.  Without really knowing more, it's hard to give a definite answer as to the best course of action.  Can you survive on your own financially or do you have someone who could help you until you can handle it yourself? 

bigfoot951

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #23 on: May 04, 2014, 07:17:47 pm »
I like how the replies to this post are a lot longer than on any other post I have ever seen on here.  But only you can answer that question for yourself.  I can't even say what I would do in that situation because I haven't been married for 35 years.  Forget what other  people think, do what you think is right and what you want to do.

freedavis

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #24 on: May 04, 2014, 07:43:22 pm »
I just feel once someone cheats they always have that in them.  I mean you can forgive but just keep in mind that cheating is a choice not you fault at all.  People can be in a great relationship and one still cheates.  So i say its something that a weak person does.

JediJohnnie

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #25 on: May 04, 2014, 10:07:33 pm »
I don't think any of us know the particulars from your brief description of the situation.But,if he's cheated with 2 people,it sounds like the guy's a chronic cheat.Not that there's ever any excuse for cheating,even once.

You certainly have grounds for divorce from a biblical perspective.It's up to you to decide if you can forgive him and moreover trust him to reform this kind of behavior going forward.

Google JediJohnnie and May the Force be with you!

fjaz1

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2014, 10:12:55 pm »
I don't think it's good to talk about your personal problems on here, especially those problems and what do you expect people to do for you  ??? ::)

Freebase

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #27 on: May 05, 2014, 08:49:01 am »
I don't think it's good to talk about your personal problems on here, especially those problems and what do you expect people to do for you  ??? ::)
Not really its ok to ask these type of personal questions on a forum (or s) & or in any online situation. What is not ok for personal in any online situation is personal information such as real names (first, middle, last is a no - no to give out), address, phone #s, the area you live in, ect... basically private personal information that can cause alot of problems in real life (aka: stalkers, scamers, bullies, cyber bullies & alike). Also its not the whos right & whos worng OR what to be expected its the information and what others had experienced as like most of these posts says its really up to her (or him) to decide on there own. :cat:
« Last Edit: May 05, 2014, 08:53:57 am by Freebase »

greenthumbjan

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #28 on: May 05, 2014, 09:20:57 am »
Just my opinion, If that was a secret and you found that out, and that wasn't in your agreement, that is a scary situation for you.  Get your world together so you can't be hurt.  Don't get stuck in a secret.  Keep a diary.

nannycoe1

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Re: i need help....anyone.....please
« Reply #29 on: May 05, 2014, 09:34:29 am »
I kind of went through something similar a few years ago, the woman my husband cheated with was a lot younger than him. I think it was like a mid life thing for him. After a short separation, we stayed together in the end, and since then he has not been unfaithful but you never forget it. So I think it is just a personal choice, if you can live with it and not keep bringing it up then stay if not, get out of it.

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