Death Anniversary.....Why?

[tantricia44]

March 2, 2009 10:58pm was the day my husband gasped his last breath & die in front of me. Mom, just called me this day that she lite a candle in his memory & sent orders to conduct a mass in the Philippines in his memory. If he had survived we would have retired in the Philippines, I'd be rather rich since the dollar is so much more stronger than the peso. Since it wasn't so, I've realize this late date why have death anniversaries? Why remember the worst day of my life?The very last moment I saw the 1 I love the most in this world literally, vanished from existence!What can I say to him now, happy death anniversary honey!Please send me what you think about this. Right now, I'm just really sad & lonely.

[bigedshult]

u don't have to be sad because is u were married for time and entirety! u will see hem when u pas on .And u will be with all your family all so!then in God house if u are sealed their.if not find out how from the l.d.s. misery.

[JediJohnnie]

Yeah,but she doesn't believe in God (and presumably the after life) so I don't think anything we say can be of much comfort.

[Nancy5]

I am so very sorry for your loss, and there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better.  I don't think we "celebrate" the anniversary of a loved one's death, I think we remember the day our loved one left this earth,  again, I am truly sorry for the loss of your husband.

[mill8277]

I'm sorry for you right now, I'm tearing up as I type.....I lost my daughter in 1989 she had been sick her whole life, I adjusted to her not being there anymore, it took time...In 2001 my son was murdered...that has been the hardest thing for me to live with, to this day I still wonder who would do such a thing to a 11 year old child...and why? I have never lost a husband or a boyfriend to death...I just know loss is loss and it hurts....the anniversary of his death makes me depressed and moody, coming up to it I start to feel moody and sad...I lost my mom 2 years later in the same month as my son and I have a hard time in February.....I just try and keep busy so I want be so depressed......I send you a big ole hug and a kiss.....take it one day at a time......

[Tresbn00]

Dwelling on death is so pointless yet we all go through it.  Mourning won't bring a person back to life. We need to rejoice in the living and celebrate, even more, when someone passes away because believers know that we are headed towards a better life.  Dias de las Muertes gives a period of days with which to celebrate the dear departed...I think this is novel!  I have several songs picked out for when I pass in about forty years and all are up beat because I want people to get on with their lives.  Sure they can remember me but I don't want the memories to be associated with tears.  I would prefer them to be inspired by what I have done, to laugh at the craziness called my life.

[dreamyxo]

I don't remember death dates.  I might remember the month someone died but not the date.  My father died the day after Father's Day some years ago.  The date changes every year so I couldn't tell you if it's the 21st or 22nd. 

[sherryinutah]

I think some people have a ritual like a death anniversary the way we remember those we love, respect and appreciate on Memorial Day.  I would imagine that your Mom means well and she's trying to honor him in HER way.  If you're uncomfortable with a "death anniversary" maybe you can be honest with her and tell her that you view it all from a different angle. 

Make sure she understands that remembering him on March 2nd is too painful for you.  I believe that open and honest communication is always best.

 

[gaylasue]

I personally see death as a victory - A Victory in Jesus, my Savior forever (I love that hymn).  I celebrate (not elaborately) the passing of my loved ones because I know they are with Jesus and in a much better place than I am!  And dwell on the fact that one day we will be together again.

[bremer51]

My mother died 1 month ago today.  I had 52 years with a fabulous mother and great friend. Now its been a month without her.  I don't think we celebrate a death anniversary.  We observe it and remember.

[ghunter]

It is just to remember the death of a loved one, time goes by so fast these days and it is just good to remember someone you loved very dearly.  I alway remember my mother round the holidays, but is is to remember the good times, on the day she died I do not remember just the month...so why not?

[countrygirl12]

I don't know that I have heard of a death anniversary.  But I do know people remember the anniversary or date that someone close to them dies.  And every year on that date or time of year they think about it.  Or visit the grave site.  But I don't know that I see the point in that cause they are not there.  Just their body.

[BlackSheepNY]

March 2, 2009 10:58pm was the day my husband gasped his last breath & die in front of me. Mom, just called me this day that she lite a candle in his memory & sent orders to conduct a mass in the Philippines in his memory. If he had survived we would have retired in the Philippines, I'd be rather rich since the dollar is so much more stronger than the peso. Since it wasn't so, I've realize this late date why have death anniversaries? Why remember the worst day of my life?The very last moment I saw the 1 I love the most in this world literally, vanished from existence!What can I say to him now, happy death anniversary honey!Please send me what you think about this. Right now, I'm just really sad & lonely.

Hugs to you, tantricia44.  I'm so very sorry for your loss.  It's a hard thing to forget the day someone you love died.  Look, you remember the day, right down to the minute your husband passed.  I know it's next to impossible sometimes, but on that day you have to try and remember the good things and good times you had with your husband.  Say a little prayer for him, light a candle if you like, and know that he's in a better place waiting for the time when he can be with you again.   

[dmahoney]

So sorry for your loss

[6265AT99]

The anniversary of someones' passing is not meant to be something that brings us down but rather that makes us remember all the good times we shared.  It's also a day to let their spirit know that you still think of them on a daily basis and miss them.  So, take heart and remember with a little faith you will one day be reunited with the one you have lost.