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Topic: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?  (Read 3661 times)

skrogman

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Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« on: October 12, 2013, 02:47:54 am »
Occasionally, as the seasons change or the mood strikes, I like to re-arrange the furniture in my home for a different look.  However, I have been told that since I am living with a vision impaired boyfriend, that this is just cruel.  Is simply changing things really that wrong?

BJohnsonPP

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2013, 09:11:04 am »
Well, quite frankly, yes it's wrong. You're not "simply" changing things, you're rearranging his whole home life. At worst, for you, if the furniture stays the same, you get a little bored. At worst, for him, if the furniture is changed, he has to unnecessarily re-learn how to live in his own home as well as increase the potential of him harming himself.

I would hope you would ask him first and explain the lay out to him if he says ok. Keep in mind though, people say "ok" to things to be polite and not be the bad guy in the hopes that you'll think your way through it, consider them, and make the "right" decision yourself. .

I don't know him or your home life. That's just my take on it given the little bit of info I do have. Good luck with that.

Cuppycake

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2013, 09:24:02 am »
Occasionally, as the seasons change or the mood strikes, I like to re-arrange the furniture in my home for a different look.  However, I have been told that since I am living with a vision impaired boyfriend, that this is just cruel.  Is simply changing things really that wrong?

I agree it seems a bit selfish of you to do that to him just for the sake of aesthetics or whimsy...

tdillard

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2013, 10:56:28 am »
I would have to agree that it is not very nice.
My ex-husband use to laugh and say it was a good thing he was not Helen Keller in our house, because I always changed the furniture around  he would never know where to sit if he couldn't see when he came home because of all of my rearranging. Before that never really thought about it alot, just liked to have change. So made me think it probably wasn't something even nice to do to someone who could see - should have left well enough alone.

angprescott

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2013, 10:59:50 am »
Depends on what you mean by, Visually disabled, if he can not see at all, then yes, you  should only rearrange with his approval, but if he can see some (like a friend of mine) then changing around isn't that big a deal, just a warning is all that is needed.

msmoneybags48

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2013, 11:55:50 am »
I suggest you ask for his input.  That shows him that you care about his disability and that you want to change the room but care about his input.  Changing the room without his approval is just plain wrong.  You are leaving him out and expect him to accept the changes you made without his approval. :o :o :o :wave:

Nancy5

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2013, 12:38:08 pm »
It really depends on how bad his sight is.  If it's bad, I would leave everything the way it is and not change anything.  If you're bored with the look, try making small changes, different colored throw pillows, change nick-nacks on tables that he doesn't use a lot, little things like that.  If his vision is just a little impaired, and you want to change furniture I would talk to him first, agree on moving certain pieces, and when done, tell him again what was changed.
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Falconer02

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2013, 07:45:52 pm »
Hmmm....I think as long as you talk to him about it first it would be okay. I mean we've all been in the situation where it's pitch-dark in your own living room and you smash your foot into something your parents/bro/sis/roommate put there. It's aggrevating! Maybe make a plan with him where you can move the furniture, but it needs to only be in specific areas so he knows what to look out for. Make sure there's always clear paths and such.

skrogman

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2013, 04:50:17 am »
Thank you all for your input.  You were all very helpful and I really like and appreciate the suggestion of changing the pillows, color, and decor for a different look and feel to the room.  Those were great suggestions and now I am planning a Wal-Mart run!

:thumbsup: :wave:

bowrunner

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2013, 08:20:55 am »
Maybe you could just change one thing at a time so he can get used to changes gradually.

Mikena

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2013, 09:37:37 am »
Occasionally, as the seasons change or the mood strikes, I like to re-arrange the furniture in my home for a different look.  However, I have been told that since I am living with a vision impaired boyfriend, that this is just cruel.  Is simply changing things really that wrong?
Wow. that is a hard question. I can understand how you like to change things around because I do the same thing. I also understand how someone might consider it to be an issue do to being visually impaired. I would imagine that change would bring on more difficulties for your boy-friend due too his impairment. You might could get him involved in the change and that would make him more comfortable with it. Hope that maybe this was a little help. :peace:

Barbara4321

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2013, 03:08:28 pm »
I agree; it's important to have your boyfriend involved in the process.

mardukblood2009

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2013, 06:23:54 pm »
If he is on board with the idea or you tell him that you moved your furniture and where you have now placed it, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
Now if you don't say a world that is pretty cruel. :-X

Sweetpea1228

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2013, 08:32:38 am »
I don't think you're intentionally being mean. Maybe talking to him and asking him and finding out his opinion would be best.

king4cash

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Re: Do you think this is cruel or wrong?
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2013, 08:54:14 am »
The simple solution is to let him know that you moving things around, and get him involve in the process, then he will be aware of where things are, and everyone will be the happier for it.

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