How much do you have to endure to discover someone is using you?

[msmoneybags48]

I want to know how much do you have to endure to find out you are being used.  My youngest sister is a user.  She uses people to get what she wants and then, when you are no longer jumping through her hoops, she has the nerve to get mad.  She tried using me, and when I caught on, it ended as quickly as it started.  My sister next to me is being used by her now.  She has used the church as well.  I don't understand this.  I was accused of expecting something, and it changed my scenario.  Yet, my sister next to me cannot say no to my youngest sister and brother, although they are both grown.  Right now she is upset because they are treating her wrong.  Her thing is to say as few words as possible on the phone, but she is constantly in the background screaming things.  Have you ever experienced anything like this and how did you handle it?

[Maggland44]

This kind of relates to me. I have an older half sister that dislikes my youngest sister. They actually dislike each other. My older sister seems to find a way to get on her good side at times to get what she wants. There have been many times where my older sister would use me but I notice. She thanks me when I do her a favor, but I don't let her off the hook all the time.

[vickysue]

I have a younger sister about the same way. it is do for me. give me giveme. all the time. But i no loner do it. I figure after 60 years or so i quit. On top of that i won't let my husband do anything either. My brother is also fed up. So she is on her own now. So be it. But a person can only do so much.

[BATISTAGIRL663]

when i was younger it took alot for me to realize these things as i have gotten older i trust no one and dont give people a chance to hurt or use me anymore--i know its sad to live this way but i have lost alot in this life and i refuse to go down that road again

[crazib]

GOOD QUESTION NOT REAL SURE

[Sendmicheck]

This is one for me to look at much closer.  I am always doing things for love ones and I hope they are not using me.

[ancmetro]

      Once you realize that you are being used, make a plan to survive and do not let it happen again in your life.

[vp44]

I have a Brother who has done this over and over for years. My thing is I want to help my brother and be able to trust him. So blindly I always help and accept him back in my world because I was taught to love my siblings and always be there for them. I have a soft heart and tend to ignore the past. Then you wake up one day and boom they do something to make ya regret the good things you have done. Our recent thing has me come to the conclusion I can no longer help this brother and I have cut him out off my life. It hurts my feelings but I do not think he even cares. Deep down inside I have to wonder if this brother even loves me or respects me. It was always a one sided thing anyway. I have asked for his help and never in the past 15 yrs have he ever helped me it was always sorry I do not have the time, or sorry not at this time. Before my Dad passed he warned me that no matter what, this brother is never going to be there for me. I always said to myself one day it might change well its so many years later and I have learned my lesson. It is really sad. :-

[kilophkadamas]

For her to continue being used, she must be getting something from them like approval (fake but still something) or she is afraid of something, like confrontation. She would have to find out why exactly she continues to put up with it before she can find the answer.

[jonhall37]

it took me a long time, but i recently figured out the same. helping people is good, but when they keep coming to you and you get nothing in return, yup i stopped that!

[kerseycarol]

oh my god you went their  how much man some people know right away if their being used take me for example I went with this guy for eight  long years and didn't know that he hand another family he never had nothing to contrubite the house hold always broke  so how did I endure  eight long years so get out now before you regret it

[elysee24]

Seems like from time to time I will run into the "users" whom I happen to think they were my friends!!
Only call when they want something from me or email when they have things to show off!!
Of course, it's hard for me to remind friends with them and want to stay away from them!!

[twol]

I've been down the same road. I thought I was being nice and helping a friend out. Then I noticed they wouldn't bother to call or text until they needed another favor. Enough of that! Don't let people take advantage of you.

[Tresbn00]

I dash at the first inkling that someone is using me!  I am quick to dismiss relationships because life is too short to deal with selfish people.  My blood father was a big *bleep* and I stopped talking to him when I was twenty one years old (I am now fifty).  I have given him a few opportunities to redeem himself but rotten is to the core and he always proves that to be true.  I have people at work who used to constantly come to me for answers...I now tell them to refer to their guides or refer them to someone who makes more money specifically for catering to their questions.  I dated a girl who used me to make her boyfriend jealous...I took him out for beers and let him know how yucky she was and we both dumped her!

[msmoneybags48]

Thanks for the responses.  I see that some people catch on right away, while it takes others a while to see they are being used.  I can take it ever so long, but if they are your friend, they will call on you whether or not they need a favor.