Dealing with elderly parents

[lbeery]

I feel for you and know you are doing your best to help.  I think automatic bill pay would help alot for some things.  Also, try contacting senior services in our area...they often offer counseling or assistance for elders in such things as you are dealing with.  Also, AARP has some good information on dealing with the hard things with aging parents.  God bless you and good luck.

[demaina]

I am no where near this situation, so I might not have the best advice, but this may be the point you say either let me help you or stop complaining to me.  Again, I may be completely out of line here, but I don't know of any other course of action.  I've sorta had to do the same thing with my mom on a completely different issue and while it isn't perfect, it has allowed me to be around her more without wanting to fight.

[samrhett2]

Thanks so much.  All wonderful suggestions and feedback and it let's me know that this is a common issue, sometimes I feel like I am alone.  We do have everything we can on auto pay, but some things cannot be done that way.  The other day we were missing some mail (lucky we realized it) and I found it in one of the trash cans.  My dad said someone else must have done it, but we know it was him.  I have reported several of the companies that won't stop calling here to the FCC, but they don't really do anything about it and yes, they are on the do not call list.

It is difficult because my mom's mind is not going, other than in my opinion she has some issues, but always has had. lol  So she could take this stuff over, but she won't.  She is so used to having everything done for her that she feigns as if she is too weak to think about it.

That is why I am desperately looking for a job, so that it will force them to either hire someone else to deal with it, or turn it over to me or my sister.  Like I said, we have tried to discuss it with them and my mom always starts yelling at us. So I am afraid that some tough love and allowing them to make some mistakes has to take place.  Unless I was convinced that both of them did not have the mind to handle things, I won't go to court and force it.

[jkhanson]

Karla, I feel for you.  You are doing your best to help your parents.  Unfortunately they are not able to see or appreciate it.  You are definitely not alone.  Tough love and letting them take the consequences is going to take some real fortitude on your part.  I hope your sister is supportive of you.  Together you can make it.

It sounds like you have already been pro-active in getting their bills set up on auto-pay and the Do Not Call list.

My family is not quite at the same stage in the aging parents spectrum....although they are definitely on the downward slide.  Both are in their 80s and getting more and more forgetful. 

[Nancy5]

I noticed you wrote some bills were missing.  At one point my mother would get the mail, but rip it up in tiny pieces.  Do you have any idea how frustrating it was trying to piece several bills together, not knowing how many bills were there, or how many pages each bill had?  What I had to do was get a post office box for her.  I know it was a hassle my having to go get her mail, but at least I knew it would be in one piece.  Maybe you might have to think about doing that.  My heart really goes out to you, it's so very hard to watch.  Good luck