These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
>> things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
>> published by court reporters who t had the torment of staying calm
>> while these exchanges were actually taking place.
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>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
>> WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>> WITNESS: My name is Susan!
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>> WITNESS: I forget.
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
>> ___________________________________________
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>> sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>> ____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old , how old is he?
>> WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
>> ___________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
>> _________________________________________
>> (My Favourite)
>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>> WITNESS: Getting laid
>> ____________________________________________
>> (Another favourite)
>> ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>> WITNESS: None.
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a
>> new attorney?
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>> WITNESS: By death.
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>> WITNESS: Take a guess.
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
>> _____________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
>> deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>> ______________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
>> dead people?
>> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
>> _________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
>> WITNESS: Oral.
>> _________________________________________
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>>
>> And last:
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
>> a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
>> began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
>> nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>> practicing law.
>>
Community Forum
Topic: These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts (Read 845 times)
July 15, 2009, 11:59:26 pm
