Living with my Mother

[Fuzionman]

I am 49 years old and I am living with my mother.  It is either that or be homeless.  Unfortunately, she abuses me mentally.  She yells at me.  She controls me.  She lies to me and on me.  She threatens me.  She is the only person in this world who has ever switched (with branches of bush) my twins when they were like 3 years old.  Put it this way, when I think about my mother, I have the image of the wicked witch of the west (I think) from the 1939 Wizard of Oz movie.  Margaret Hamilton, yes.  My mother is 70 years old, but she has a lot of energy.  She has killed any love that I have for her. 

[msmoneybags48]

In her own way, she loves you.  She would be alone if you weren't there.  You have only one mother.  My mother's idea of love was to treat me differently.  Maybe you should sit down and talk to her.  I understand wholeheartedly that you have no love for her, but then again, maybe she wants her freedom back.

[mjoseph1]

sad to hear about your situation, hope you can rectify it somehow

[dreamyxo]

You know what you need to do.  Get it together and move out or continue to stay and be abused.  Make a plan and work your butt off to make a change.  You cant change her so your only choice is to change your own actions.

[nhendrickson]

Sorry to hear about your situation and the grief it causes you.  It's entirely possible that your mother may have been abused this way when she was younger.  I'm not trying to excuse her behavior, but those patterns are hard to break for many people.  See what programs that may be available out there to help you transition to a different living situation so you can get out as soon as possible.

[yen1207]

I have more freedom now that i live far from my parents.

[Nancy5]

I'm sorry that you are having problems with your mother.  I don't know what your situation is, but why don't you move out?  If you are working, save up for down payment on an apt. and get out ASAP.  If you are not working, first question is why, if you are on disability you are getting a income.  As far as your twins  go - what kind of mother ARE YOU?  There was NO WAY I would ever allowed anyone to spank my kids for any reason.  If they did something wrong either my husband or I would punish them NO ONE ELSE!  I have grandchildren and I would ever take it upon myself to hit them, first I don't believe in hitting and second they are my grandchildren NOT my children!

[mom2taz]

My mother is no longer living, and I miss her every day.....but I could not have lived with her as an adult...we would have driven each other crazy

[amahomes]

Amen; mother did drive me crazy, not living with her. Now I look back  she need to be in control and have her way, like the world revolve around her. Love the OG. Miss her, everyday I LOL about something she said of did.

RIP mother

[camellia0]

You need to ask her why she is treating you that way. Maybe she has anger toward your dad and is directing it towards you. Wish you could live alone...you'd feel so much better.

[king4cash]

Most good mothers tend to try and control you and your actions. This is not because they are power-hungry, it's because they have been there, done that and don't want  to see you make the same mistakes, they made in life.

[paints]

I am 49 years old and I am living with my mother.  It is either that or be homeless.  Unfortunately, she abuses me mentally.  She yells at me.  She controls me.  She lies to me and on me.  She threatens me.  She is the only person in this world who has ever switched (with branches of bush) my twins when they were like 3 years old.  Put it this way, when I think about my mother, I have the image of the wicked witch of the west (I think) from the 1939 Wizard of Oz movie.  Margaret Hamilton, yes.  My mother is 70 years old, but she has a lot of energy.  She has killed any love that I have for her. 

My mom was like this starting in her mid 60s. She got steadily worse and meaner. She tried to hit my 14 year daughter over the head with a metal cane, because she was so angry at her (my daughter) for eating ice cream in her room.  :-

She was always accusing my brother or my sister or me, whoever she was living with, of stealing her money.
She told my sister-in-law that the reason she got cancer was because she had been mean to her (my mother).

At the age of 72, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers.

She passed away at the end of last year.

If I had known then what I know now, she would have been diagnosed a lot sooner, and maybe it wouldn't have been so hard on her, and us.

[tuyetmai]

I don't know about your financial problem.  But I have one question you are old enough to live by yourself why are you still live with someone that abusing you?  You need to help your mother out by calling someone to help her and yourself.

[Optiwoman]

Hopefully you will get out of there soon.   How old are your kids now, and are they living there also?

[loulizlee]

I agree with most of the posters so far.  My mother has been in Heaven for several years now, and I miss her very much.  I loved her deeply.  However, I could not have lived with her as an adult.  I don't think any adult child should live with their parents, except in the most extreme circumstance.  If this is a big change from how she treated you as a child, I expect she may have Alzhimers or some type of early senility.  Please try and make a way for both you and her to be cared for without you having to live with her.  It is not good for either one of you.