Conflicting Emotions on this date 03/02

[tantricia44]

This was the date my husband died on 03/02/09 & my Mom always tell our relatives to light a candle in memory. It's been 4yrs but it still feels like it just happened & only difference is that the shock of losing him so quickly isn't as strong anymore. Ironically, one of my nieces was born on this day not the day he died; that would be way too creepy!But he died on her birth month & date. So,  what am I to do;  say Happy Birthday Serii  & Happy death day Harry? It gets easier each year but my emotions continue to be conflicting & un pleasent! 

[pkrahmer]

I completely understand . I had a tough day yesterday too. My dad died 2 years ago yesterday. It still hurts alot but I also know he had a great life and would want us to celebrate his life not sad that he is no longer with us. For me it is getting a little easier each year but I think it will take a while.

I hope in time you will be able to happy and celebrate your nieces birthday and remember your husband and celebrate his life.  

[ktheodos]

Dual emotions are tough, but at least it's a combination...i know several people with weird dates like that - yesterday I heard a story about a woman who received citizenship the day her country was freed, another friend of mine celebrated her birthday, anniversary (dating) and last day on the job all at once, and then was engaged the next day; i had a teacher who shared a birthday with her daughter, and then her grandson was born the same amount of years apart but a day later (boys always ruin everything, right?)....regardless, I don't think it ever gets easier, but you learn grow stronger out of it, and learn to celebrate the life, not mourn the death

[pitbullsigh]

Aww OP Im so sorry for your loss. I am glad that it is getting a little easier for you as time goes on. I hope that your neice has a wonderful birthday and that every day gets a little better for you.

[ssliva67]

This is difficult and will take time to get over as you are finding out.  Try to think of 3/2 as a birthday for Harry moving on to a new life. This idea was put in front of me when my step-daughter died in 2007. The person and their memory will always and should always be with you...do what you can to remember all the good things he brought to your life and be happy with them.

[Optiwoman]

In front of others, try to focus on your nieces birthday.  She is going to spend her whole life knowing that her uncle died on her birthday.  Try to make sure that she has a good birthday  - and mourn in private if possible.  Ask yourself what your husband would want for your niece.  

My youngest daughters birthday is on the anniversary of the day my father died.   It was hard, but I never let her feel like her birthday was also the saddest day of my life.   I probably went WAY overboard when she was young, but her birthday parties were always huge.  Since they never met, I wouldn't let her feel bad about his death on that day.