Makes you think!

[vp44]

When I watched the video of battered woman. It made me think of women being battered who make excuses for their husband, man, boyfriend etc. The one thing I have noticed in my some of my encounters with battered women they will give that man a recognition that he truly does not deserve. I think it is a syndrome within the female that they think if they put them on a pedestal that it would make the relationship better or he wont hit them anymore. Also it seems to make the woman feel he is all I have and I just need to deal with it. I am doing a blog about battered women of today and then, what's the difference. I myself have had a situation like this when I was younger. I did not have a broken arm or leg but I did have a bruised eye. What is most of your thoughts on how this can be resolved or if not but can help a person in this predicament.

[loulizlee]

I think some of your reasons are true, but it seems to me that a great many abused women stay with the abuser because of fear.  Many times it happens in stages:  when the couple first gets together, everything is rosey; later on, when the abuser begins the abusing pattern, he abuses and then apologizes and asks forgiveness; some time later, the abuser simply keeps the woman there with threats and more abuse.  The abused feels they have no way to get out of the situation.

[shortnlovabl3]

fear is a big one. "if they can do this to me what can't they do?"

[mc1962]

There is NO excuse to EVER hit a woman.  Women should be treated like gold. 

[premar16]

comming from a person who abused by a parent and lived with that parent well after I turned 18 its not just pyshical these people go out of there way to make the abused person believe that they are worthless that no one will help them and that if they ask for things will just get worse

[vp44]

comming from a person who abused by a parent and lived with that parent well after I turned 18 its not just pyshical these people go out of there way to make the abused person believe that they are worthless that no one will help them and that if they ask for things will just get worse

This I have learned from some children who are ages 11-17 and I feel so deeply for them. I try my best to relate situations to them and how yes they can over come things like this and no it will not be easy. I see this type of abuse a lot. Mainly the child wants to be loved by someone and be heard of their of they feelings. Also I give them knowledge in knowing love and bonding with those who truly care whether it is a friend or other sibling who have left and overcame this. I am trying to help those who may feel society have let them down.

[StarlitNirvana]

You do make some very interesting points but I do think the main reason they is stay is because they are very scared that he will hurt/kill them or their loved ones.

[jcribb16]

comming from a person who abused by a parent and lived with that parent well after I turned 18 its not just pyshical these people go out of there way to make the abused person believe that they are worthless that no one will help them and that if they ask for things will just get worse

I can relate to your situation from my own experience with that.  I'm sorry you had to deal with that.  It's a long recovery getting to know your true self after something like that, and some things will still be bothersome at times - like the self-esteem and trust. 

I promised myself that my children would never experience what I did and that they would know they were loved.  Thank goodness, I have a wonderful husband and he's a fantastic dad to our children, who are now young adults, and do indeed, know they are loved by their parents.

[vp44]

You do make some very interesting points but I do think the main reason they is stay is because they are very scared that he will hurt/kill them or their loved ones.

This is why I say this point.
 I think it is a syndrome within the female that they think if they put them on a pedestal that it would make the relationship better or he wont hit them anymore. Also it seems to make the woman feel he is all I have and I just need to deal with it.
The syndrome. If I make him feel better he wont do any more harm to me. Unconsciously she is trying to protect in her mind everybody that is close to her.

[premar16]

I just had to spend every day reminding myself that it not my problem.And sometimes you have to cut off all contact with the person and not even try to mend it and just focus on yourself.and knowing that the best way get past it is talking to others and knowing that if you dont repeat thier mistakes  they will never win

[ajami]

No person whether a man or woman has a right to put their hands on anyone.  There are many men out there going through abuse and they keep it more to themselves than women do.  There is help out there and there is always a way out.  You have to be believe and be willing to get out of relationship.  Believe in yourself, believe you are worth it, you are human and should be treated as such.  You do not and never will belong to anyone. 

[tfw6693]

  Real men DON'T hit women.

[articx]

Real men DON'T hit women.

And real women DON'T hit men.

There is NO excuse to EVER hit a woman.  Women should be treated like gold. 

To be treated like gold should be earned.

[pgk1965]

i think by the time a woman gets hit the first time she has already lost her confidence in herself and he has her believing its her fault for getting hit...she believes she doesnt deserve better or cant make it on her own...men that hit woman are cowards they get their kicks from feeling they have control over another human being....so to all women in that situation i want to say..GET OUT YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND YOUR KIDS DESERVE BETTER