~* Humorous and Funny Quotes *~

[aldin301]

"Oh, son. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times... who are all you people?"
- Franklin Sherman, The Critic (1994)

"There's a reason there's a banana in my ear, it's to lure the monkey out of my head."
- Franklin Sherman, The Critic (1994)

"I know that, Mr. Man!"
- Annie Wilkes, Misery (1990)

I could go on for hours. I love quotes, random movie quotes. Love em.

[mcornwell]

"So what if I can't spell Armageddon.It's not the end of the world."
-Stewart Francis

[encino11]

"I always wanted to be a milkshake" -Lincoln Hawk (Sly Stallone) in Over The Top

[DeliriousKris]

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.
Savannah Highnote

[DeliriousKris]

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.
~Murphy’s Law

[DeliriousKris]

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

[JediJohnnie]

Gotta love this one:

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein

[DeliriousKris]

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

[DeliriousKris]

I saw a stationery store move.
Jay London

[DeliriousKris]

“Multi-tools are like insults, girls — you should always have one on hand.”
― Elizabeth Little, Dear Daughter

[DeliriousKris]

I hate waking up from naps cause I'm always confused like: where am I what time is it is this earth where's my mom what day is today
-Unknown

[DeliriousKris]

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Anonymous

[JediJohnnie]

Sally: I'm giving a valentine to my sweet baboo

Charlie Brown: He says he's not your sweet baboo.

Sally: What does he know.

[DeliriousKris]

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

[adriarobi]

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing well.

Have a good day everyone!