Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on
exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not
make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving
faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean
they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness
that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.
If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How
getting more vegetable be bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should
only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!
It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand -
chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally
worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word
on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all
those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans...
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Community Forum
Topic: FYI (Read 301 times)