House guess ended up moving in I need advice

[skrogman]

Wow, dreamyxo, I love that suggestion! That was great.  I had a good chuckle, but you are right on.  Yep, it sounds like it's her water, her food, her self-respect anyway, so why give it away? VERY SMART.

[nickylanena]

You and your husband should sit down with his brother and let him know he should get his own apartment.

Agreed

[sassyc42]

I agree with the response that your husband is going to have to sit down with him and tell him to move out.  If he is getting SSI and medicare, he may be able to qualify for Section 8 housing?  Something to look into and present to him his options.

[lbeery]

Don't let his anger keep you from what you know you need to do or all three of you could be out on the street.  His anger is the weapon he is using to get his way.

[lmavans]

you have to sit him down and tell him you need your space. it will not be easy but you have to do it for your own sanity!!!

[lmavans]

you have to sit him down and tell him you need your space. it will not be easy but you have to do it for your own sanity!!!

[sigmapi1501]

You guys COULD get jobs 

[lynnc35]

Well obviously he doesnt respect your family in the first place to get that check and spend it all and not help you. I would say he has pretty much already trashed the relationship. I know it is hard because it was family and if the guy was waiting on his disability, it may be different, but he is getting it and not trying to make any changes. Also he most likely knows that he is not supposed to be there. You and your husband need to tell him, that he can no longer stay there because of the help you get, and he has so long to find a place, tell him you will not change this date, it is set in stone, and he must be out by then, so he should save his check so he can afford something. Otherwise, he is going to continue to use you.

[batmobile]

wow! what were you thinking?...personally i have no family living close where i am living in other states and i remember staying with my crazy ex-husbands family when i was pregnant im so glad we are divorced and had a couple losers mooch off me a few times stayed with me stopped working its not worth all the trouble and its a total headache and not fun for either of you help him get his stuff straight tell him never again and give him the boot asap

[raven1114]

I would tell him he either leaves or he alone will be paying the difference in rent when it goes up because he is there. that he will also buy his own food, soap, toilet paper, and person item and cook his own food as well as clean his own messes.

[africanclaudie]

This is a tough one, but the advice given by the previous members are all good. I hope your husband supports you in telling this freeloader to pack his stuff and vamoose. Stand firm......no use ruining your health and life with this stress - your own family comes first! Good luck!!!!

[PGS28]

Whenever you let someone move in you have to establish rules, the first being a move out date. You have simply got to put your foot down and get him out of there!  I think it's undeniable you've been patient enough.  If you guys get evicted will you be able to depend on him to get back on your feet?  I doubt it.  Talk to the police if you have to but this could end badly for you if you don't, because I think when you get evicted from public housing it decreases your chances of being approved for other public housing in the future.  Talk to your husband and try to get him to kick him out, it is his brother after all.

[blondie71]

Thank you all for your help.  My husband just flat out told him he has to get his own place and has until Oct 1 to do so.  What I find interesting is I have been married to my husband for almost 11 years and I met this brother around the second year of marriage and after that nothing until he came over for a BBQ this year.  He always tells me he doesn't know how I put up with my husband and his twin brother for so long.  He just has no patience, yes the twins are a bit aggravating but my husband is not that bad he may talk a lot or like my mother says he tells stories.  My husband is the first and only man who put me first in his life, he treats me like a queen.  Gives me coffee in bed and this last year he sold his truck (which ment a lot to him) for junk so I could have a car that was safe, he put new tires on the car and registered it.  I couldn't drive the truck due to my illness, that is the sweetiest thing don't you think?  My husband has told his brother to start looking for a place before I wrote this subject, its just this brothe is a little crazzy I think.  My husband told me that he (his brother) could loose everything including his wife. He acctully told my husband he could take me away from him.  I would not live with a slob and abusive person he is even if I was single he would not be on my radare.

[africanclaudie]

I'm so glad that it seems there will be a happy ending after all. Give your husband an extra fat hug for standing up for you. 

[MessiahMews]

Make it so unbearable for him that he will want to leave on his own.  Nag him 24/7 to clean up after himself, help with expenses etc.  Go and turn on the lights when he is asleep.  Turn off the hot water just as he gets in the shower.  Cook really bad food and only give it to him.  Don't let him have any privacy.  Follow him around and annoy him.  Just basically be the most annoying bi*tch on wheels that you can be.  Drive him so crazy he will want to leave.  

ETA
Tell your husband the plan first so he won't think you've lost your mind and want to leave with the brother.

The best answer ever!  It's totally what I would do.