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Topic: boundaries....  (Read 1136 times)

johnvon23

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boundaries....
« on: May 01, 2012, 06:38:10 pm »
how would u feel if ur ex is dating your cousin ?
I'm already married but i just dont like the idea of having the pass.... off limits people...

lbryanwf

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2012, 06:55:26 pm »
It is kind of weird, I mean family functions and all. I would ask your cousin why he or she wants your "cast offs". Also consider this may be your ex's way of staying close to you.

johnvon23

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2012, 06:10:44 pm »
well i guess they wanna be part of the family lol :P

Irmarie

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2012, 07:30:08 pm »
 :dontknow:

Abrupt

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2012, 08:39:44 pm »
I would wonder when my ex and my cousin became lesbians...
There are only 10 types of people in the world:  those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Shavontae

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2012, 09:44:39 pm »
I really wouldnt care but it seems disrespectful to me! #im just saying!

mzzsarah12

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2012, 09:58:51 pm »
Oh that is a easy one. Ex boyfriend + Cousin = Ex boyfriend and Ex Cousin. That's just plain rude.

falcon9

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2012, 12:48:46 am »
I would wonder when my ex and my cousin became lesbians...

It may have happened at a previous family reunion kegger, but then again you're assuming neither was/is bi too, (like I'm assuming the kegger).
One can lead a horse to water however, if one holds the horse's head under, that horse will drown.

             

maryann2657

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2012, 12:52:48 am »
how would u feel if ur ex is dating your cousin ?
I'm already married but i just dont like the idea of having the pass.... off limits people...
Well family gatherings I can do without unless they are only 2 hrs long and I
can get out after the meal.

lorettahknox

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2012, 09:06:51 am »
For whatever reason you two decided it wasn't working for you. You are acting like someone who is jealous. Focus on your spouse. Even if you had intimacies with your ex this is no reason to focus on a person who is no longer relevant to you. It's over, and at least she/he has moved on. Why haven't you? You are married. Are they supposed to do without happiness because they know you? :peace:

foxylady81

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2012, 01:46:42 pm »
i agree and if u had kids they would be causins and sibling i dont think it is a good idea eather off limits for sure

falcon9

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2012, 01:56:59 pm »
For whatever reason you two decided it wasn't working for you. You are acting like someone who is jealous. Focus on your spouse. Even if you had intimacies with your ex this is no reason to focus on a person who is no longer relevant to you. It's over, and at least she/he has moved on. Why haven't you? You are married. Are they supposed to do without happiness because they know you? :peace:

Given the limited information provided, (for instance, nothing was said about being "first cousins"), I'd agree with your assessment of the situation.  Some people seem to subscribe to a 'if I can't have them, no one can' policy as well.
One can lead a horse to water however, if one holds the horse's head under, that horse will drown.

             

patti4me

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2012, 02:15:51 pm »
For whatever reason you two decided it wasn't working for you. You are acting like someone who is jealous. Focus on your spouse. Even if you had intimacies with your ex this is no reason to focus on a person who is no longer relevant to you. It's over, and at least she/he has moved on. Why haven't you? You are married. Are they supposed to do without happiness because they know you? :peace:

Given the limited information provided, (for instance, nothing was said about being "first cousins"), I'd agree with your assessment of the situation.  Some people seem to subscribe to a 'if I can't have them, no one can' policy as well.

It is awkward to say the least.  My ex-husband married my now husbands' ex-wife and we've had to deal with that for over 30 yrs since there was a son from the first union.  When the son had activities all of us went (but not together lol) and when he got engaged that was really wild since I went to all the showers, etc.  You deal with things like that the best you can and try not to let it get to you.

falcon9

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Re: boundaries....
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2012, 02:37:53 pm »
It is awkward to say the least.  My ex-husband married my now husbands' ex-wife and we've had to deal with that for over 30 yrs since there was a son from the first union.  When the son had activities all of us went (but not together lol) and when he got engaged that was really wild since I went to all the showers, etc.  You deal with things like that the best you can and try not to let it get to you.

Yep, it can be awkward as you say however, it remains the individuals' involved choice as to the degree to which they choose to be involved.  That degree will vary from person to person as will how they deal with the situation.
One can lead a horse to water however, if one holds the horse's head under, that horse will drown.

             

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