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Topic: Death of a loved one.  (Read 1033 times)

MichelleHW101

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Death of a loved one.
« on: April 30, 2012, 09:16:55 am »
I think the hardest thing about losing a loved one is two-fold.  The first is accepting that the person is no longer there, that you have to spend the rest of your years without them.  The second part is that no matter how bad you want it you cannot look for the person you lost in others.  That particular person is gone and even if they had children, the children will never be exactly like the person that is gone.  Both of those are the hardest things truly about losing a loved one and the hardest to accept.  I cry still over the first part (because even after almost a year I still miss my grandmother) and the second I just get mad (because her daughter, my mother is not like her and I want her to be).  I guess if it’s almost a year later and you still cry over the person being gone then you always will.  If you’re not looking for them in others, then you never will.  That’s why they say people handle grief differently.  I think, in truth, there is only one way to deal with loss.  Live each day to the fullest and make sure you carry plenty of Kleenex. 

ljrjess69

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Re: Death of a loved one.
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2012, 10:08:31 am »
i lost my mom 3 monthes ago,,its the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with  :crybaby2: 

lucky382001

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Re: Death of a loved one.
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2012, 11:18:19 am »
I think the hardest thing about losing a loved one is two-fold.  The first is accepting that the person is no longer there, that you have to spend the rest of your years without them.  The second part is that no matter how bad you want it you cannot look for the person you lost in others.  That particular person is gone and even if they had children, the children will never be exactly like the person that is gone.  Both of those are the hardest things truly about losing a loved one and the hardest to accept.  I cry still over the first part (because even after almost a year I still miss my grandmother) and the second I just get mad (because her daughter, my mother is not like her and I want her to be).  I guess if it’s almost a year later and you still cry over the person being gone then you always will.  If you’re not looking for them in others, then you never will.  That’s why they say people handle grief differently.  I think, in truth, there is only one way to deal with loss.  Live each day to the fullest and make sure you carry plenty of Kleenex. 

It is true, your mother is not your grand mother. She is simply herself and you are yourself too. The good thing is that in families we are pieces of each other and when one piece is missing we find a way within ourselves to fill in the piece. I expect your heart is aching but you will find your way, in your own way. in your own time. Don't be too hard on your Mom she is also looking for the missing pieces.

lucky382001

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Re: Death of a loved one.
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2012, 11:27:45 am »
I think the hardest thing about losing a loved one is two-fold.  The first is accepting that the person is no longer there, that you have to spend the rest of your years without them.  The second part is that no matter how bad you want it you cannot look for the person you lost in others.  That particular person is gone and even if they had children, the children will never be exactly like the person that is gone.  Both of those are the hardest things truly about losing a loved one and the hardest to accept.  I cry still over the first part (because even after almost a year I still miss my grandmother) and the second I just get mad (because her daughter, my mother is not like her and I want her to be).  I guess if it’s almost a year later and you still cry over the person being gone then you always will.  If you’re not looking for them in others, then you never will.  That’s why they say people handle grief differently.  I think, in truth, there is only one way to deal with loss.  Live each day to the fullest and make sure you carry plenty of Kleenex. 

It is true, your mother is not your grand mother. She is simply herself and you are yourself too. The good thing is that in families we are pieces of each other and when one piece is missing we find a way within ourselves to fill in the piece. I expect your heart is aching but you will find your way, in your own way. in your own time. Don't be too hard on your Mom she is also looking for the missing pieces.

As for always crying over someone or not I couldn't tell you. It takes time to work out grief.  I have lost many loved ones.  You might think it is funny but I remember conversations we have had and feel in remembering them that they are once again talking to me. So how do you lose that? You don't! It is always there with you just like the love you have for them :)

tigerlilly01

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Re: Death of a loved one.
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2012, 01:35:10 pm »
I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  I lost my dad 26 days ago.... I think about him EVERY DAY!!  I will never know another Man on this earth like him.  He NEVER disappointed me.  He was my Hero.  I LOVE HIM with all my heart and I know one day I will see him again.  I sat with him as he took his last breath.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done.   :crybaby2:

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