I send you my condolences as well. Although I've never lost a spouse, I did lose a parent when I was young. There were things I learned about grieving the loss of someone you loved dearly.
Your first year will be an emotional hell. You'll probably experience emotions you never knew you had - and they will cycle in seemingly random patterns. After your initial grieving impact, which is mostly overwhelming sadness, you'll start finding your self cycling the whole range of emotions from low to high. When you do start "feeling" normal, there will probably be times where you enjoy yourself, followed by guilt that you are enjoying yourself. There will probably be times of anger. And eventually days that almost feel "normal". Just know, this is completely normal - don't fight it (#1 mistake I made...), just do your best to let the really intense emotions out in a constructive way (ie. let yourself cry where you feel comfortable to get it out, let yourself defuse anger with whatever works best - like exercise, or sports, etc...).
Be prepared around holidays and other special days - the first year will be the biggest impact as you hit each milestone for the first time. The impact lessens as the year goes on, then after that, it keeps decreasing in intensity.
In the short term, get yourself into a routine - get up, get dressed, eat, go to work, go to sleep - rely on that routine as best you can to at least keep yourself healthy. Eventually, as they say, "life will go on" and it won't feel like you are making that much of an effort.
You'll never forget her (assuming a "her) as time goes on, but the pain does lessen over time. You will get to a point where you'll be able to laugh and have fun again, you just have to be patient and know it may be several months or years (all depends on the person). One day you'll reach the point where you'll be able to tell stories about her and not be sad in the telling, but even smile at the fond/happy memory.
I, myself, am religious, and I did find comfort in prayer during my time of grief. I tend to look at faith as more of a personal/one-on-one thing between me and God, so I just sat at home and "talked/cried/yelled" to him all the time, and it made me feel better. The way I look at it, no harm in giving it a try if all else fails.
I'll keep you in my prayers for a while that you are able to find some comfort and support on this unfortunate journey you must now learn to navigate.
Community Forum
Topic: Grieving (Read 2391 times)
September 25, 2011, 09:29:07 pm
