Parents Won't Pay for College

[noirlupe]

Dont let your Mom ruin your dreams.  I had left home with a baby and I got student loans and went to College.  There are lost of grants and Government loans out there.   Check with the College you want to go to for a list of grants and loans available.  As for your relationship if this man is good to you then stay with him the color of his skin should never matter.  I am married to a black man and I am very happy, my family didnt understand but they accepted my choice because he made me happy.  What other people think doesnt matter what you and your boyfriend think is all that matters.   My husband told his family you dont have to live with her I do so what you think doesnt matter to me.  His sister is one of my dearest friends and his mother calls me her girl.

[tartarsauce2008]

So, my mom isn't paying for college and told the rest of the family that if any of them tried to help me, they'll basically be shunned by her. So, any idea on how I can make enough money for school?

If you are old enough to go to college and have a long term relationship, Get A Job!!!!!!

Umm, ya, that's the thing, I'm still in high school, and my mom won't let me get my license.

[tartarsauce2008]

Although I completely disagree with her reasons for doing it, parents are nor required nor obligated to pay for college for their children.  She is doing this to control you.  When you turn 18 you will be an adult and will have the freedom to live your own life as you see fit.  You have two choices if you want to have an easy time and have her pay for your education you need to break up with your boyfriend and bend to her will and follow her rules.  She is paying the cost to be the boss. 

You can continue to let her control you with money or you can stop being a child and take your life into your own hands, refuse to be bullied and controlled by her and pay for it yourself.  You are not the only one to not have parents pay for school and you won't be the last.  You should start by looking under every rock and apply for every scholarship and grant you can, even if you think you might not be eligible try anyway.  Ask your guidance counselor to help you.

Do you play sports, an instrument, have an unusual skill or talent?  There are scholarships for that.  What's your ethnicity (they have scholarships for every ethnic group on earth) look into that.  Do your parents belong to any professional organizations?  Look there.  What's your religion?  Look there.  Do you participate in extra curricular activities?  Look there. 

Get a job.  Make up a job.  Babysit, be a pet sitter.  Run errands for your elderly neighbors.  Don't pass up anyway to earn extra money.  Join the military they will give you money to go to school.  Community colleges are cheaper.  You can take your core classes there for less then transfer to a four year university later.  In the mean time make sure your grades are are excellent.  If all else fails get a loan. 

Oh yes and if you decide to continue to see your boyfriend I suggest you move out as soon as you can.  Choose a college that's far away.  If she is going to act like this now it will get even worse if she is controlling the purse stings.

Good luck.

I already broke up with him, and she's still not paying for college. Every time I get paid from being a tutor/babysitter, she takes the money. She's not allowing me to have my license either so I won't get a constant job.

[shamilton62]

I already broke up with him, and she's still not paying for college. Every time I get paid from being a tutor/babysitter, she takes the money. She's not allowing me to have my license either so I won't get a constant job.
[/quote]

If you are 18, your parent(s) have no legal obligation to support you.  If she is taking your money, then I bet she wants rent of some kind or she is just narcisistic and the world revolves around her.  If that is the case, you will never win this fight, or any other fight that you have with her.  I suggest that you reach down, pull up your boot straps and move out if things are that bad.  Thing is as long as you are in your parents house, it is there house and their rules.  After 18, you become a "guest" in a way and you are not guaranteed anything.

Also, if you are 18 and over, you don't need your parents permission to get your license.  If you wanted it bad enough, you would get it.  I know many adults how found a way to overcome whatever obstacles they faced, and some were pretty terrible.  I think it is time that you quit making excuses and find a way to do what you want.

[jordandog]

Your story of this drama is NOT adding up, in lots of ways. Just last night you wrote:

She's doing this because I'm dating a black guy.

Then you come back on here this morning not even 12 hours later and say:

I already broke up with him, and she's still not paying for college.

I think there is a lot more to this than what we know.

[bschumacher]

You MUST get some form of higher education/training, or you will be stuck in low-wage-no-health-benefits jobs for the rest of your life. And by the way, that life will be much shorter if you don't have access to regular health care!!

If you are still in high school, your counselor can provide information about the cheapest way to go to college. For example, you can attend a low-cost community college for two years, then transfer to a state college to get your degree. If your grades are good enough, you might get some grants or scholarships. Fund as much of your education as possible from a part-time job. Give up Frappuccinos and Jamba Juice so that you can borrow as little money as possible. Good luck, dear.

[lywb2168]

I do not know your entire situation, I do know there are parents that can do something after their kids have extinguish their last bit of patience.  But whatever the reason for your mom acting the way she is think seriously.  If you are 18 then go get a part time job put the money in the bank before you even get home and move out.  I am sure you can find a room somewhere to move out.  My 17 years old daughter just graduate it from HS and 1/2 of her friends had already moved out of their house, even before they finish school, if they can do it so can you.  IF your mom will not help you with the college funds, then apply for FAFSA yourself and see if you can get a Pell Grant or even an stafford loan.  

Search for scholarships there are plenty out there.  You say you ar still in HS then you have a whole year to start getting the loans.  An I really think that you should get a bank account and put your money in there after you do a job and get home.  Find a safe please where to hide your card and documents and don't let your mom take your money anymore.  But I agree with jordandog there had to be more than just what you said.  If your mother does not want to support you then she should be glad that you would have your own money for your expenses.

If you are 18 then go get your license witha  friend you do not need a parents authorization to get it.  If you are not 18 then you better find a way to get your mom to cool off.

[wiersmak]

Start at a community college, which is cheaper, and stay at home so you dont have to worry about room and board.  Start looking at grants and scolarships if you havent already.

Look for a part time job, and look at coops and internships.  My in-laws had 11 kids and all of them went to college and got thier degrees this way.

I got my degree when I joined the military. 

[dreamyxo]

Unfortunately because you are still in high school and under her roof you have no choice but to follow her rules no matter how ridiculous they may seem.  In the mean time use this time to plan your escape.  Just like you are on this site you can make money online easily without her even knowing.  It may not be a lot but it helps.  Open a high yield savings account online (you need a checking account to do this)  ING is a good one. 

Definitely talk to your guidance counselor for your options for college.  Not only can they help you with college options you can talk to them about your issues at home as well.

[Cuppycake]

Most parents don't/won't/can't pay for college.  My mother has money and never offered to pay for college for myself or my siblings. She herself went to college on her parents dime and never used that expensive education for anything so I guess she figures we don't need to go....

[lorettahknox]

I think this is a bit much. Unless you have proven yourself to be completely irresponsible there is no reason for this. Your education is paramount at this time in your life there is nothing more important. I do not know you but I want you to know that you can do it. Figure out with a financial aid officer at the school you have been accepted to what your budget would be, also check to see if there are any jobs you can work near to the campus. Call a family meeting and enlist some of the elders in your family to speak to her. As an outsider it looks to me as if she is trying to sabotage your future. I can't speak more about how important it is that you do not give up on your education it is the difference between abject poverty and decent living. Look into federal grants for school that will help some. I would also suggest that you remove yourself from any negative environments that do not support you at this time.

[bigfoot951]

Join the club.  Your not alone.  That's life big guy.  I'm one year into pay off about $50,000 in student loans.

[PMZ908]

i dont mean to sound like a *bleep*........but can u speak english? can u sit, walk and stand? well go get a job like everyone else. what makes u so special.

[Tresbn00]

I was blessed with parents that woul pay for my college but I didn't take a cent.  I worked three to four jobs...mostly in the hospitality industry and one bank job because it gave me practical experience in a field that I wanted to pursue.  It was far from easy, my grades were in the 3.5% average (may have been 4.0 if I didn't have to work) and it took me six years to cmplete a double major but I wouldn't have had it ny other way. I hate relying on others for anything.

[mercy1227]

i'm still lucky my parents pay my college, and now i'm trying to find a good job and help them in return cuz they deserve it