joke for today

[tigerlilly01]

cute little joke .... thought I would pass it along


A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

[lvstephanie]

Cute. Yeah, there are times that I feel that way... Just the other day we were looking up synonyms for "grumpy" (my friend had mother nature's monthly gift coming up): the ones we liked the best were "cantankerous" and "snarky". I'm thinking the guy in your joke was cantankerous and the woman was snarky.

[anubabs]

too funny!

[gooberhead]

that was good... here is one of my favs


duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender "Do you have any sandwiches?" bartender says we don't serve ducks here get out of my bar

next day duck comes back and asks again... and is told the same

next day duck comes back and asks again... now the bartender is a bit upset because he has had to repeat himself so he says "i have told you for the past couple days that we don't serve ducks here, if you come in and ask again i will nail your feet to the bar" and the duck leaves

next day duck comes back and asks the bartender "Do you have any nails?" bartender says "Why would i have any nails? this is a bar not a hardware store"  duck asks "do you have any sandwiches?"

[texaswhiterose]

That is a cute joke. Reminds me of my husband and me. That is something he would say.

[SherylsShado]

   Loved those jokes, thanks so much for posting them!!

[samiole32]

That was funny you made me laugh, my daughter looks at me as if I am crazy laughing with myself

[Blue_Rose]

Now this is funny, I would so do one of these.

What Not To Do In The Elevator

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space"

[gooberhead]

i would do number 20... the desk one is great too... but i don't work in a office... so i would have to go somewhere there is a public elevator... there were a couple others that made me laugh pretty hard