Divorces - Why?

[BK_Adores_Chase]

So I'm just curious - I love my fiance so much, we've almost been together for 5 years, and it seems like I truely want to be with him for the rest of my life.  But obviously there are other people out there who feel the same way, or why would they get married?  And why do people fall out of love and get divorced?  It scares me, and I think it's sad and I really hope it doesn't happen to me someday because I am really happy right now with my life and my family.  Obviously it does happen though...

[queenofnines]

I think the main reason is that when people get married, they take each other for granted more than before they were legally bound.  They figure that other person is "stuck" with them and therefore they don't have to try as hard to be a good partner, when really, that attitude is the death of a relationship.

[loulizlee]

People change, situations change, and divorce happens (generally) when the partners do not have the level of commitment that would give them the desire to try to see the other's point of view.  It takes a willingness to try every day to understand one another, maintain trust, and love each other. 

[angie828]

I too can not see myself falling out of love with my fiancee. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love him so much.  But people do change over time so that can be why they fall out of love.

[raven1114]

I think the main reason is that when people get married, they take each other for granted more than before they were legally bound.  They figure that other person is "stuck" with them and therefore they don't have to try as hard to be a good partner, when really, that attitude is the death of a relationship.

exactly! with the exception of abuse and serious addiction problems most divorces are because people stopped trying.

[ElleRich]

In my opinion, sometimes it is just easier to say forget it and we'll get a divorce, than to work on the marriage.  It almost happened to us in year#27 of our marriage.  I never hated my husband ever. There were major issues in our marriage that we needed  to discuss and we were both 19 when we married and had children shortly after that.  Communication in a marriage is so important.  People in marriages tend to take another for granted. We will be celebrating our 34th anniversary in June and I can honestly say it's the best it's ever been.

[kingreyam24]

My first marriage ended in divorce because it should have never happened in the first place. We got married because I was pregnant and I would recommend to everyone to NEVER DO THIS. We fought the entire first year and tried to make it last for our daughter. Yeah, that wasn't happening. With my current husband I could never see us apart. We will have been married for 5 years this year and I'm still excited to see him and happy when he gets home. But I agree with others, some people change once your married. I know your technically not supposed to live together before your married, but if my ex-husband and me would have lived together before we got married, we definitely would not have gotten married. He made me so mad and his habits annoyed me to no end.

[Shmooi]

Like the first person said, you start taking each other for granted. You get too comfortable that you're 'forever bound' that you get lax with taking care of each other and supporting one another. Setting aside time for extra attention to each other helps.

[BizELady]

The number one reason for divorce is finances so remember to be honest and open about your financial situation and to remain within your family's budget.

[Tylershotmomma]

i think people get married to soon

[ddnbb88]

ok....ive been really depressed lately in my marriage. i hope that what im about to say helps others out there who are not yet married and having second thoughts...im not saying you shouldnt get married just saying that its a big decission.

i got married a little over a year ago. we got married to soon. we had only known each other since april of 07'.....yes that means ive only been with him for about 4 yrs. i was so in love with my husband and in many ways i still am and i guess thats why im having such a hard time right now. i really feel like we dont belong together. we fight a lot amoung MANY other things that have been leading me to believe we need a divorce. im so depressed lately. i cry almost everyday and i feel so alone and empty. i feel stupid and naive and just all around TERRIBLE. i dont really have anyone to talk to about this so i guess when i saw this post it was a way of reaching out hoping for some guidance or help. i could really use a friend right now but i dont feel comfortable talking to them about what im going through. i dont know why but i feel like once i talk to my friends or family about it that there is no turning back...like i have to get a divorce....i know thats not true but i dont want to complain to them about how i feel if im still not sure im going to do anything about it......also im scared no one will ever marry me again...i have no children at all but for some reason its like the feeling no one will love me or want me.....i dont want to be alone either all the time but i guess i feel alone anyways....
before i met my husband i had to leave a man who was physically abusive. my husband doesnt abuse me but sometimes i wonder about all the mental anguish im putting myself by staying married when its NOT WORKING!
im sorry if this is annoying to everyone i guess my point is that marriage is serious something you need to work on all the time to keep it a healthy partnership. as hard as i tried the other person didnt so now im screwed

[BK_Adores_Chase]

Actually - okay, so my fiance and I have been together for 5 years this July.  And right around the 4 year mark, which is where you said you are, I felt the SAME EXACT WAY.  Depressed, felt like I wanted to leave him, I even bought a book called, "If This is Love, Why am I Unhappy" which I never read and wish I didn't waste my money on.  Anyways, back to the point, it's weird that you and I felt the same way at the same point in the relationship.  I got over it, it lasted for a couple of months, and I don't know why it happened - but now I'm back to being madly in love for the past like couple of months and because of all we've been through I value our commitment and decided to marry him - well, not yet, but eventually.

[jusu]

I've been divorced for 2 yrs. now. We were married one month short of 25 yrs. I don't know why after so many yrs that one day I just couldn't stand another second of my life. Things happen so much...fighting, abuse, bills...there comes a point where you just cannot do it anymore.

[ddnbb88]

to comment above this one i understand ....i know you were with your x a lot longer but i get the point. i feel the same way right now....there is so much that factors into it. at this point i know my marriage is technically over but i havent made the move to file for divorce as there is a lot that is going on thats preventing me from doing so.

as for anyone else PLEASE just becareful when you marry someone becuz just because you love them doesnt mean you always will.

[cubarican210]

I don't understand why divorce even exists. Imagine having a brother or sister, or daughter or son. Can you imagine falling out of love with them? So why would you fall out of love with the love of your life. The one you chose to spend the rest of your life with. That still boggles my mind how some men or women can go out and cheat on their significant other because all of a sudden they just fell out of love with their spouse. It's upsetting. I hope it doesn't happen to me either. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. 4 years of dating. 3 years married. I agree that everyone undergoes certain changes but if there's a problem it should be talked about.