Dealing with Dementia

[Debj1951]

How many out there are dealing with a loved one who has Dementia?
My brother who is nearly 55 has it,we live in the same apartment building, but on different floors.  He is a real sweetheart & I know he can't help it - but at times I want to scream because he just repeats himself to the point I feel I will pull my hair out if I have to hear the same story ONE MORE TIME! I have tried the 'uh huh' & pretend I am listening, But I feel sure he picks up on that. I can't get him to go out to eat, a movie or anything like that.
We can't watch TV together because I hate a loud TV & he needs it quite loud to be able to hear - (in process of geting hearing aid)

3 siblings live out of state - one who lives close is too wrapped up in her own life, & has always kept her distance from us, The other has a lot of health problems but not to the point that she couldn't at least come & get him to have dinner at her house.  My door is like a swinging door, he is in & out several times a day. I love him, glad I can help him, but having a few health issues of my own I need plenty of time to myself. Thank God I am single & kids are raised.

I just needed to vent - thank for allowing me to do that.   

[swogden]

I feel your frustration. You  are definately not alone.  I have a loved one in advanced stages of dementia/Alzheimers and it does get frustrating to hear the same story over and over again.

I try to put myself in his place and feel whats it's like to not remember what was said 2 minutes ago -- very difficult to do and even imagine what it must be like to be him.

But, at the moment, he stills knows who I am, still knows enough to get up and find the bathroom.  All I know is that it won't get any better, so I try to enjoy the time I have with him, make his life as easy as possible and take it one day at a time.

[Linda67]

Thank you both for those postings.  My 91 year old mother has dementia.  Sometimes it seems like it's only my family so it's nice to hear from others.  Mother still recognizes us but she just doesn't understand most everything else in the world....such as don't push all of those other buttons on the TV remote because that screws it up and it has to be reprogrammed.  Of course she says she didn't do it and gets mad at us for even thinking that she did.  I'd better stop now.....I could fill pages with her antics.   

[Debj1951]

Thank you for your input, & a kindly reminder that 'the best is yet to come' LOL  My brother is not in the stages that your loved ones are in (yet). He is able to live alone, but I feel only because he is in the same building I am in. I would be so afraid for him to be totally on his own.
He is still mourning the death of his wife who passed 2 years ago. I am sure that is not helping his condition at all. He is bored & lonely, but at least has found a card (part time) partner here & he really looks forward to the times they can play.
Not to be selfish, but I don't think I will be able to deal with him when he gets to the stages that your loved ones are at. For one thing these apartments are so small & only 1 bedroom, another, the stress causes my condition to really flare up. (Major muscle spasms in my neck & upper back)

He is so kind & caring, always trying to look out for the elderly in this building. Working on the snow & ice removal on the side walks since it isn't wasn't being done by maintenence. (After my brother fell & hurt his bad knee - the manager has been on maintenence more to take care of things)

Yes, I do try to put myself in his place, it breaks my heart as he knows he is so forgetful & that it will only get worse & he will end up in a home. Though this is not a cancer - to me, in some ways it is, because it will slowly eat away at their mentality until it is gone.   

Bless all of us & give us strength to deal with our loved ones in a kind & Godly manner.