How does one know they are a good husband?

[footemama]

It's sounding to me like you may be a little depressed but please take this with a grain of salt because obviously I don't know you and sometimes the "tone" of writing can be misunderstood.

I totally agree with SCarter..... if my husband did half of the things you do a week then we would not be separated (this includes the paying the bill early). You don't have to spend money on your family to be a good husband or a good father. The gift of your time is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than anything that you can purchase anywhere!

As for your wife, it could be that despite all you are doing that she is still feeling overwhelmed. What does she do when you are doing the dishes and getting the kids ready for bed etc.? Does she do something for herself or is she hovering to make sure that everything is getting done right or is she doing other chores that need to be done that she couldn't get done during the day??? If she still isn't getting time for herself that could be one of the reasons that she is on edge.

Communication is also key! You are feeling like you aren't doing enough for your family and you want your wife to tell you either that you are doing enough or things that you can do for her so that you are doing enough. I hope that the two of you can get the roads of communication open again.

[SCarter984]

So according to this thread us men need to do three things.

1. Be selfless A.K.A care about your wife
2. Don't spend your money on anything unless it's helping your wife
3. Spend time with your wife

Yes to one, no to two and yes to three.  You should show your wife you care.  Always.  Spend your money wisely.  As long as it benefits you both.  Sometimes helping your wife is also helping yourself.  When she is happy you are happy.  Spend as much time as you can with your wife, but don't forget that you need your own time as well.  Any woman who would demand more than this, to me, is showing that she does not care enough for her man.  I'm just sayin'...

[teflonfanatic]

So according to this thread us men need to do three things.

1. Be selfless A.K.A care about your wife
2. Don't spend your money on anything unless it's helping your wife
3. Spend time with your wife

Yes to one, no to two and yes to three.  You should show your wife you care.  Always.  Spend your money wisely.  As long as it benefits you both.  Sometimes helping your wife is also helping yourself.  When she is happy you are happy.  Spend as much time as you can with your wife, but don't forget that you need your own time as well.  Any woman who would demand more than this, to me, is showing that she does not care enough for her man.  I'm just sayin'...

"Always.  Spend your money wisely.  As long as it benefits you both."

But you said no to #2!!!!!! If i'm using my money to help/benefit the misses(hopefully 10 to 20 years from now ) thats the same thing.  My uncle is always trying to get me to use more of my earnings to help out grandma but it's kinda hard when you make less then $100 a month.

[tyler8784]

You should know if your husband is good if he puts your needs first before his and if he cares about u and tells you that you are his world and if you are on his minds

[franlee46]

I try to show that I love her but then I mess up like I did yesterday (which I also did last year) nothing for her birthday.  Like always we are broke and I did not get her anything.  There was a chance for me to get her something but instead paid ahead on a bill that could have waited about 2 weeks.  If I would have got he a little something would have been better then nothing.  Most days I just do not feel like I am a good husband.  Just feels like I should do more then I do to take care of her and my children.

There are lots of things you could do that do not cost any money, Go for a walk by yourselves, have inlaws or parents watch the children so you can spend time by yourselves without interruption, Make a card for her just because, rent a movie then watch after the kids go to bed clean up after dinner switch the laundry talk with her more openly Get a book lots are out there Men are from Mars Women are from Venus GREAT book insightful as to how men and women react to certain things and how to communicate more effectly. As someone else posted Communication is key Laugh more

[dell9031]

been married for 20 years to same gal......still have not figured that one out....I do know when I am being a bad husband.

[tyler8784]

One knows when they are a good husband if they spoil you all the time and are thinking about their wives 24/7 and when they come home from work all they want to do is spend time with you and not with their coworkers but that is okay to hang out with them too cause the wife may like to hang out with their coworkers too so really if you know you are a wonderful husband then you have nothing to worry about!

[scarroll452]

What makes a good husband? A provider, protector, comforter, best friend and lover. Do you make time to spend just enjoying each? Do you  listen to her? Do you validate her?

[Willie353]

I dont know the answer to that one guess it depends on what the wife expects of you. As for me I havent been hit with a skillet yet but I keep ducking

[Niarobi1010]

When your doesn't divorce you. I don't know go ask your wife.

[articx]

So according to this thread us men need to do three things.

1. Be selfless A.K.A care about your wife
2. Don't spend your money on anything unless it's helping your wife
3. Spend time with your wife

Yes to one, no to two and yes to three.  You should show your wife you care.  Always.  Spend your money wisely.  As long as it benefits you both.  Sometimes helping your wife is also helping yourself.  When she is happy you are happy.  Spend as much time as you can with your wife, but don't forget that you need your own time as well.  Any woman who would demand more than this, to me, is showing that she does not care enough for her man.  I'm just sayin'...

How so? Could you explain?

[Cuppycake]

So according to this thread us men need to do three things.

1. Be selfless A.K.A care about your wife
2. Don't spend your money on anything unless it's helping your wife
3. Spend time with your wife

Yes to one, no to two and yes to three.  You should show your wife you care.  Always.  Spend your money wisely.  As long as it benefits you both.  Sometimes helping your wife is also helping yourself.  When she is happy you are happy.  Spend as much time as you can with your wife, but don't forget that you need your own time as well.  Any woman who would demand more than this, to me, is showing that she does not care enough for her man.  I'm just sayin'...

How so? Could you explain?

It basically boils down to give and take. Most men have the take down pat but are seriously lacking in the give department. 

[mstachitus]

A good husband (or wife for that matter) should not try to change the other into what they want them to be.  Acceptance and forgiveness are keys to a great relationship.

[yaayme]

Tried to ask her indirectly and she goes off on me like there is something wrong when I do try too.

Don't ask her indirectly, ask her directly...Like someone said, communication is key...Say to her "hun we need to talk". Sit her down, hold her hand and be completely honest with her. Ask her what she is feeling and how the two of you can work together to make things better....Good luck dear.

[mstachitus]

Tried to ask her indirectly and she goes off on me like there is something wrong when I do try too.

Don't ask her indirectly, ask her directly...Like someone said, communication is key...Say to her "hun we need to talk". Sit her down, hold her hand and be completely honest with her. Ask her what she is feeling and how the two of you can work together to make things better....Good luck dear.

Great advice.