who has a shy husband or boyfriend

[billermarie]

I have a shy husband he never tells me he loves me he says bc of his past we have been married 3 yrs going on 4 and he told me he loves me 4 times if that and also dont want to talk about our sex life how do u get someone to say i love u back or even have sex with someone that doesnt hardly want. 

[trujillo33]

I have a shy boyfriend...at least he is shy in front of other ppl. He is not shy when its just me and him. I dont know why he is shy around other ppl! I dont know why your husband wont tell you he loves you. Just give him time and tell him it bothers you.

[cloudsoup]

it sounds like he's been seriously and emotionally
bruised. has he ever opened up to you about his past?

i think to have an open, loving relationship, you need to
be (above all) his friend. sometimes we forget the friendship
foundation that our relationships are built upon, which involve
listening, encouraging, sharing, etc.

i've learned that if my fiance doesn't want to talk about
something, he usually ends up spilling what's really on his
mind when i share something about myself that may be
similar to what he's feeling. i think you should try relating
to him somehow, so that he can gradually be more vulnerable
around you...

in general, i think guys have trouble with vulnerability.
but if he's only said "i love you" four times in four years,
he has trust issues that you need to gently work on with him.

[billermarie]

I try to talk to to get him to open up to me but he wont i dk what to do i tell him i love him i love him all the time he tells me that am always that i wont leave him alone i dk am at the point that am confuse  thanks p

[inluvwitmm]

My bf is shy around people he doesn't know, but not around me. He used to be, but not anymore. He also used to be shy about the L-word, but now he tells me he loves me every night. When he first started saying it, he said it was weird for him because he hadn't used the word in so long. And about the sex life conversations, sometimes it just feels weird to talk about it - some people just aren't comfortable with it. My bf and I are comfortable since we had a long distance relationship for about the first two years of our relationship...so we talked online a lot...it was a lot easier to type it out (like writing a letter) rather than talk about it side-by-side or face-to-face...and since we got past that first "sex talk" it's no big deal anymore.

Good luck with your husband!

[longleggedgiraffe]

My husband isnt shy at all! He says whatever whenever! He certainly isnt shy with me. I am sorry your husband doesnt respond. My exhusband was always that way. I remember one time I was in labor and I had just had our 5th and last child...I told him I loved him and he didnt say anything...so I said it again and he still didnt respond. It felt like a slap in the face. I know how you feel...hope everything turns out better for you!

[thechexmix]

Hmm ... has he always been like this? Why did you get married to such a man in the first place, if he never shows you that he cares and doesn't want to sleep with you? (I think in the case of a marriage, that's pretty important, lol - sorry if it seems crass). You said he has only told you four times that he loves you ... is that before you got married, or after, or?

If it is that things have changed after marriage, think about if anything else has changed, like if he had to change jobs and get paid less, or if his career isn't moving as well as planned, or something like that. Or if you've moved and he doesn't have any friends in your new place. Anything like that. It could be that he is depressed, because that can cause a loss in libido and in showing affection and so on.

It sounds like a really sad situation for you to love someone who hardly loves you back. I still wonder why it is that you got married to someone like this. Is he at least kind to you in other ways?

[dreamyxo]

I wouldn't say my bf is shy but he is anti social.  He isn't shy around me and he tells me he loves me.  When we go places I have to do all the talking.  A few months ago he came to visit me (we live in different states and I'm usually the once to visit him because I can travel for free) he barely said 5 words to my mother.  He met her before several years ago so it wasn't like he was meeting her for the first time.  I hate it when we go to the store and the cashier says have a nice day he doesn't say a word but I speak to the cashier I will say you too.  I asked him why doesn't he speak when they do that.  It kind of irritates me because I think it's rude not to speak when you are spoken to but that's him. 

[billermarie]

he has always been liked this yes he hasnt said i love since we got married i ask why he said it will take awhile before it start saying again because of all his ex girlfriend treating him bad i married him cuz i figure he would after we got married and he hasnt but  i love him and he is very nice to me i have to go him when i want a kiss or hug once in while he mint but i just do the best  i can do

[oldbuddy]

Get a dog, seriously they will love you and hug you anytime. Maybe that can fill the emotional void you feel and you can accept your husband like he is. I know women feel like the words are all important, but I know lots of couples that do just find with one of the partners not being so inclined.

[billermarie]

i have dogs one a wolfe

[jnjmolly]

I think that he will open up when he is ready and it might be hard to wait for him but i think that he will only open up when he feels comfortable. If he said it those few times he must have REALLY meant it because it was probably very hard for him to say it the very first time.

[billermarie]

thank you for ur help