Somthin Funny.....

[cbgreene0312]

Hi All,
I'm Looking for some light hearted jokes.
nothing perverted
tell me your favorite Joke please. 

[kapeh12]

Always like this one - feel free to substitute the names and Team mentioned at will:

Two friends, John and Dave, were two huge baseball fans. Their entire lives, John and Dave talked baseball. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One night, John passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Dave awoke to the sound of John's voice from beyond.

"John is that you?" Dave asked.

"Yes, it's me," John replied.

"This is unbelievable" Dave exclaimed. " So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Tell me the good news first."

"Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven."

"Oh, that is wonderful, So what is the bad news?"

"You're pitching tomorrow night."

[Annella]

A man was laying in his hospital bed when the Dr. walked in.

He said "well buddy, I got good news and bad news.  What do you want first?"

The man said "give me the bad news first"

"Okay" the Dr. said, "we found gangrene in both your legs and we have to amputate".

The man was crestfallen and said "hurry Doc, give me the good news".

The Doc beamed and said "the man in the bed next to you wants to buy your shoes".

Sick I know......

[cbgreene0312]

Love it! lol
though I love this one that my brother in-law just told me.

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

 :dontknow:There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

[Annella]

HA HA, that is a good one!

[cbgreene0312]

I lovethe jokes that are so funny you can't repeat them to someone else... that joke had me luaghing so hard people were just starting at me waiting for the punch line.