Weekend (Saturday/Sunday) Mini Promotions - Non-Sports Related

[tantricia44]

Got to try so....

How does a blond correct a spelling mistake on the computer? She/he uses white out on the computer screen to make the correction!

[SurveyMack10]

Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was the chicken's day off.

[smithjcsdfw]

The funniest joke I can rember is about the old Farmer who was bringing his new wife home from their honeymoon.   All of a sudden the mule who was pulling the wagon stopped.  The Farmer tried everything he could to get that mule going.  So he jumped off the wagon ran up to the mule and pulled it's ears down and said Mule this is 1.  He got back up on the wagon and they rolled a mile or so down the road and the mule for no reason stopped.  The farmer tried everything he could to get the mule going but finaly had to jump down and run up to the mule pull his ears down and tell the mule this is 2.  The famer climbed back up to the seat and they went down the road a mile or so when the mule stopped again.  This time the farmer jumped off with his rifle walked up to the mule pulled down is ear and said this is three and promptly shot the mule.  The new wife was in shock and proceeded to tell the old farmer how wrong he was.  The farmer turned to the wife and said, "That's one!"

[Kiki1992]

"Mom, I don't wanna brush my teeth."
"Son, your teeth will go bad if you don't brush them."
"But, what if I put them in a glass like grandma does?"

[Stealth3si]

THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT IS TRUE:

The previous statement is a lie.

[PMZ908]

A priest and a rabbi were walking down the street. A little boy was walking on the other side of the street from them. The Priest leans over to the Rabbi and says ,"Hey, let's go screw that little boy." The Rabbi replied, "screw him out of what?"

[marvia]

Whey did the blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
For her friends that don't drink...

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave at her...

What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was preg?
Are you sure it's mine...

Did you hear about the blonde that moved? 
She heard 90% of all accidents happen close to home...

[lynn426]

I thought today was the 29th not the 28th.

time zones varies for some LOL but some havent gotten that concept yet...

[rj2010_m]

 This is my favorite joke.


What do you call a bunch of white people got a plane crash?

Answer: Snows
 

[longleggedgiraffe]

What did one snaowman say to the other snowman? I smell carrots, do you smell carrots?

[alina6]

Q - What did one ocean say to the other when they passed in the hall.
A - Nothing, they just waved

[kingreyam24]

A little boy gets up and his mom tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Disgruntled, he went out and fed the chickens. While he's feeding the chickens, he kicks a chicken. Still mad he goes and feeds the cow and kicks the cow. He then feeds the pig and also kicks the pig. He heads back in for breakfast and his mom said, "Don't think I wasn't watching you while you were doing your chores. Since you kicked the chicken, you'll have no eggs for a week. Since you kicked the cow you'll have no milk for a week. Since you kicked the pig, you'll have no bacon for a week." Just then the boy's dad came down the hall, trips over the cat, gets mad, and kicks the cat across the room. The little boy looked at his mom and asks, "Are you going to tell him or should I?"

[sportsdad]

Why is PMS called PMS?


Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

[ArsamMofidi]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry it was only a joke .

[dealdeal1]

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a *bleep* is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb. Repost if this made you smile