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Topic: Dealing with "toxic people"...  (Read 4945 times)

SherylsShado

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Dealing with "toxic people"...
« on: September 21, 2010, 05:35:54 pm »
How do you recognize a toxic person in your life? (Toxic people are people who have serious problems relating to others in a healthy way.)   They may be constantly seeking attention,  intensely jealous, controlling, angry, critical, or emotionally unpredictable. They may even engage in destructive behavior such as lying, physical or emotional abuse, or addictive behaviors. When you are around them you may feel like something is wrong with you, that somehow you are to blame or that you are going crazy dealing with this person.  A troll is just one type of toxic person.  ( http://ezinearticles.com/?Trolls,-Dream-Stealers-and-Frienemies---How-to-Identify-and-Deal-With-Toxic-People&id=3786523) Troll. Trolls are funny creatures. They lie waiting for someone to say something and then BOOM they will swoop in and burst the bubble.

A troll is someone who comes in and says something destructive to you or about you, with no purpose other than to cause a reaction. You probably don't even know this person. This happens a lot online. Through email, Facebook, Twitter and on blog, people are able to say things they wouldn't dare do face-to-face.

· When a troll comes into your life, delete the message instantly (if possible).

· Do not reply to it.

· Do not try to soothe the person.

· All they are looking for is attention, so by not giving it to them you win and they will disappear. (If they don't you have a completely different kind of toxic person - a stalker, and you should notify authorities and report the person).


Falconer02

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2010, 07:12:33 pm »
*sniff* *sniff*
I love you so much right now!
*cries*

shernajwine

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2010, 08:51:31 pm »
Quote
They may be constantly seeking attention,  intensely jealous, controlling, angry, critical, or emotionally unpredictable. They may even engage in destructive behavior such as lying, physical or emotional abuse, or addictive behaviors. When you are around them you may feel like something is wrong with you, that somehow you are to blame or that you are going crazy dealing with this person.

Wow, this sounds like my ex husband lol. I will have to inform him, he is a troll!  ;D


Lusie

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2010, 08:54:55 pm »
Quote
They may be constantly seeking attention,  intensely jealous, controlling, angry, critical, or emotionally unpredictable. They may even engage in destructive behavior such as lying, physical or emotional abuse, or addictive behaviors. When you are around them you may feel like something is wrong with you, that somehow you are to blame or that you are going crazy dealing with this person.

Wow, this sounds like my ex husband lol. I will have to inform him, he is a troll!  ;D

I went thru 13 years of marriage with this kind of behavior 10 of which I was depressed most of the time before I got out of it. Had to leave the state and go across country to make sure I would not go back to it. Not a very good position to be in for your self or those who really do love you though I know in his own way he loved me.

shernajwine

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2010, 09:29:21 pm »
Quote
They may be constantly seeking attention,  intensely jealous, controlling, angry, critical, or emotionally unpredictable. They may even engage in destructive behavior such as lying, physical or emotional abuse, or addictive behaviors. When you are around them you may feel like something is wrong with you, that somehow you are to blame or that you are going crazy dealing with this person.

Wow, this sounds like my ex husband lol. I will have to inform him, he is a troll!  ;D

I went thru 13 years of marriage with this kind of behavior 10 of which I was depressed most of the time before I got out of it. Had to leave the state and go across country to make sure I would not go back to it. Not a very good position to be in for your self or those who really do love you though I know in his own way he loved me.

I hear ya. Unfortunately I have a child with my ex, so I still have to deal with his controlling behavior and emotional abuse, to me and now to our daughter. It's a nightmare! I literally feel like I'm going insane when trying to have a discussion with him. I mean I feel a headache coming on just thinking about it!  :(

I was so depressed when I was with him, I ended up in the hospital for attempted suicide!  :angry7:


shernajwine

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2010, 10:25:21 pm »
Oh my god sheryl you are describing my ex to a T!

That man is NEVER WRONG. And he is always insinuating how much smarter he is than me. Without even saying anything! I buy my daughter some deodorant, she comes back from her weekend with him with a different brand. She says he made her throw away the one I bought because it's not a good brand.

He did this with her vitamins, her razors, her face wash, her clothes, her toothpaste, and her shampoo! He offered to take her clothes that she wears, while with me, all the way to his house that is 75 miles away....so they can be washed properly!

After our wedding, when we arrived at the motel, he forbade me from contacting my parents or any of my relatives because that is not how things are done on a honeymoon. It's all about your new spouse and you are not supposed to talk to anyone else. He took away my clothes and said a honeymoon was about having as much sex as possible and therefore I didn't need them. I was locked in a motel room naked for a whole week basically! And the only channels were *bleep*!!

I could go on and on, but I never knew there was a real category to put him into, I thought he was a one of a kind LOL.


Lusie

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2010, 05:26:36 am »
Wow...you guys should form a club on Fusion Cash called attack Marie and call her a troll any chance you can get...you guys are lucky you are behind your computer screens cause I won't be the first or last person you do this too...I bet cha wouldn't dare do this to people in real life...EVER.
 

Where is the inner peace hun?

si3flychicsi3

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2010, 06:44:26 am »
Toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, narcissitic, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible, selfish, and abusive. They can be criminally minded, mentally ill, or just plain evil. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time. They cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are not hard to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, but don't worry that is the true mark of being with a toxic person. Remember this so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person. That is the first step towards eliminating one from your life.
[excerpt from http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art39146.asp]

Agreed! and ppl who live negatively - get negative things back in life. Stay positive and positive things will happen. The good choices we make now... will change life for the better later. :D

jordandog

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2010, 07:33:57 am »
Wow...you guys should form a club on Fusion Cash called attack Marie and call her a troll any chance you can get...you guys are lucky you are behind your computer screens cause I won't be the first or last person you do this too...I bet cha wouldn't dare do this to people in real life...EVER.

It's right in front of you and you can't even see it. Your remark about forming a club? You are not that important, just like Sheryl's post mentioned, but you think you are. We find you out and out annoying when you go into troll mode, totally unpredictable, and have repeatedly asked (even begged) you to just stop. You refuse to and then, as you have been told countless times, go right into victim mode - like you are with that post. I don't put myself around people like you "in real life", but when I am forced to be around them, I do what is necessary to change it whether it is with words or actions. That's why I wrote what I did in the thread about being different on the internet than you/we are in real life. I'm not, period.

You keep going back to the "lucky you're behind computer screens....". You have told me I would be punched in the mouth, slapped across the face, shot at, and who knows what else if I acted like this in RL. Guess what? It's never happened to me and I highly doubt it ever will. That is the delusion you live in, not me and not 99.9% of us who have tried every form of reasoning there is with you.

From above:
· Do not try to soothe the person.
How many, who did NOT know how you really work, have gone down that path and been bitten hard on the a** for doing it? I could put a list of names down right now off the top of my head. For awhile, they think the rest of us are 'the big, the bad, and the ugly' and we have heard about it, I know I have. The next thing ya know, they're saying the same things we are. Why is that?

I honestly feel you thrive on negativity, you thrive on creating chaos, and I also think you are a 'stalker'. You could stop your behaviour IF you wanted to, but you don't. You could stay OUT of D&D and still get your 30 posts/$3, but you don't. You could use things you write that you DO get positive feedback on and continue in that direction, but you don't.

There is a rule of thumb I use in my life. Now, I am not talking about my opinions or thoughts here. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and we all have our own way of getting through life and (hopefully) not taking someone else's apart while doing it. However, if I'm going along - just living the day to day - and I think my behaviour is just fine, but the people who know me are all telling me something is 'just NOT right' here, I am forced to look at myself. If I choose NOT to look at MYSELF, shame on ME, because I am going to have a whole lot of people who no longer want to be in my life. It's all a choice and there ain't no crying about it and there ain't no excuses for it!
You are entitled to your own opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.

jordandog

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2010, 10:14:49 am »
You're too funny.
Quote
And the atheists in this section of the forum are the worst

I think if you get real, you'll admit it's definately NOT just the atheists who go after you or are the 'worst'. Besides, you have claimed quite a few times you are an atheist too, so why would that even be a point to bring out?
As someone else might say, "cool"...... :thumbsup: [Thanks for that one, SurveyMack ;)]
You are entitled to your own opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.

shernajwine

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2010, 10:25:51 am »
I think it's funny how despite heated and sometimes clearly frustrating debates, none of the atheists or other unbelievers of my faith have called me troll. None of them have been horrible to me....rude sometimes maybe but not to the description and degree marie says is done to her.

So it has nothing to do with whether you believe in God or not marie, it is the childish antics you use to cause disruption. And starting a thread called, what else can i do to make them mad is clear indication of the intent of your behavior and it has nothing to do with trying to be nice.


tzs

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2010, 04:55:32 pm »
Finally, the light has shone upon those who didn't see it in the begining.... :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
TOOL-DEFTONES-MASTADON-NIN-DOWN-MOTORHEAD-RATM
SOULFLY-ROOTS-PANTERA(RIP)-JANE'SADDICTION-CLUTCH
BJORK-KATEBUSH-ALICEINCHAINS(OLD/NEW)
BOBBYBLUEBLAND-CHARLESMINGUS-CLASSICALMUSIC-BILLHICKS LordoftheRingsTheMatrixKingpin,Mybaseguitar,Mybowlingballs,300game
ourchild,Myhusband=My life in a nutshell

Falconer02

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2010, 09:41:45 pm »
Quote
You freakin' people will never stop, huh? I swear people (some) are just like animals... 

Yeah I know. Stop your barking and get in your cage.

tzs

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2010, 06:47:48 am »
Quote
You freakin' people will never stop, huh? I swear people (some) are just like animals... 

Yeah I know. Stop your barking and get in your cage.
Yeah, Buddy!!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
TOOL-DEFTONES-MASTADON-NIN-DOWN-MOTORHEAD-RATM
SOULFLY-ROOTS-PANTERA(RIP)-JANE'SADDICTION-CLUTCH
BJORK-KATEBUSH-ALICEINCHAINS(OLD/NEW)
BOBBYBLUEBLAND-CHARLESMINGUS-CLASSICALMUSIC-BILLHICKS LordoftheRingsTheMatrixKingpin,Mybaseguitar,Mybowlingballs,300game
ourchild,Myhusband=My life in a nutshell

cwoodard34

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Re: Dealing with "toxic people"...
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2010, 11:10:12 am »
im a toxic person i guess

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