Locked Post caught my eye!

[Lusie]

Anyone with any real experience with internet message boards has at some point come across a person, or a group of people, who are rude, full of attitude, or even just plain cruel. The question invariably follows: why are people so mean on message boards?

The answer is very simple. People are mean on message boards because they can be.

In real life, confrontation and abusive actions may very well be met with physical retaliation (i.e. they'd get a good smacking). Online, they are nice and safe behind their computer monitor.

In real life, they'd have to see the hurt or shock on the face of the person they'd just attacked or belittled, perhaps causing them to feel shame and/or embarrassment over their behavior. Online, the person they shot their virtual mouth off at is just a screen name; colored text in a little box, not a person.

In real life, people's actions cause other people to think a certain way about them. Reputations are made and consequences of behavior are deal with in a very real way. Online, screen names and email addresses can be changed at a whim; in essence, a reputation can be discarded at the drop of a hat.

With no consequences for behavior, some people choose to leave tact and decorum at the door, using the internet and its users as a virtual punching bag. Perhaps it stems from an inability to assert themselves in real life, or maybe they are simply incapable of realizing that there are actual people with feelings behind the colorful screen names. Either way, a person's online behavior is very telling about the person behind the screen.
It may be that those who are cruel, heartless and pompous online deserve the most sympathy. It takes great strength of character to extend courtesy and politeness even when it's not "necessary" (i.e. no fear of retribution if it's not extended). Pity is well deserved by those who fall short of that simple attribute

Some people can be cruel yes. It takes all types of people to make the world turn as the saying goes. A lot of times you have to take what some one says with a grain of salt other times what they say is what they mean. There is no need to twist what other people say. You should not have to be careful with what you say. We are all suppose to be adults.

No one can really say how a person is when the are in RL versus online. What you see with me is what you generally get with me be it online or RL. If I seem mean some times it will mainly be because some one has pushed that one button way to many times. With me it is having a certain religion being forced down my throat or some one constantly talking about stuff they know nothing about even after they have been shown the actual or some one who does not want to listen to what others may actually be trying to say.

My main question though with this post is this:

Is a persons online personna really different than how they would be in RL with the same person or situation?

Please no naming names or name calling to me that is uncalled for.

[jordandog]

My main question though with this post is this:
Is a persons online personna really different than how they would be in RL with the same person or situation?

I am no different on this forum, or any other one I am on, than I would be in real life. I will call anyone out on something misleading, misinformed, or downright good 'ole SS ie Sh*tStarting. I will compliment, encourage, and/or commiserate when it is called for. I make sure I read through all of the posts previous to mine before commenting so that I know what is being discussed. It's just like listening to an entire conversation in real life rather than just butting in so I can make MY point known. If I miss the point, I try to ask - in both circumstances. I show respect when it is shown to me, and sometimes when it's not, but to those who merit it. If I am rude, in most cases I WILL apologize, but NOT all the time. That may not be the 'right' thing to do, but there are times I do not feel my rudeness comes anywhere remotely close to the other person's. Self justification there, probably.

I stay away from people who are not healthy for me to be around, but in a written world, that is often hard to do. In a room I can walk out. On the internet I can read and choose to ignore/not comment back - which is the 'goodness and light and love and right' thing, but when I have had enough, I have had enough and you will know it. You will know it if I am in the same room and you will know it if I am in the same thread, period.

I have absolutely zero tolerance for anyone who wants to play the victim card. I deal with death and dying on a daily basis. I see children and adults who are stronger and wiser and more accepting of what life has dealt them than I could ever hope to be. I care for them, I cry for them, I fight for them, and I cheer for them when the smallest glimmer of hope appears. If you don't want my wrath directed at you, please do not tell me how bad you are treated by everyone, how lousy your life is, and how mean mankind is. I WILL let you know what I think about that. To your face or through the words I write, you will know.

[shernajwine]

Quote from jordandog

I am no different on this forum, or any other one I am on, than I would be in real life.

Jordan, you have shown me nothing but respect and despite the fact that we have very different opinions about things I am very fond of you and enjoy your posts immensely! 

I believe you are the same here that you are in life. Not perfect, but a genuine person 

[Lusie]

Quote from jordandog

I am no different on this forum, or any other one I am on, than I would be in real life.

Jordan, you have shown me nothing but respect and despite the fact that we have very different opinions about things I am very fond of you and enjoy your posts immensely! 

I believe you are the same here that you are in life. Not perfect, but a genuine person 

I feel the same though I think my opinions match Jors more often than not. lol Usually if Jor has beat me to the punch I stay back and see what happens lol

You should not have to be careful with what you say. We are all suppose to be adults.

This doesn't give you the right to torture someone to no end.

I do not see where any one has been tortured. There are times where some of us have pointed out our views and our feelings and we get jumped on and told that we are wrong. Some times the basis to the allegations are stuff that have yet been proven or they undermine our religious believes. EVERY ONE has a right to voice there opinions. Just as EVERY ONE should listen to these opinions with an open mind.

[shernajwine]

Some people are like this cartoon. I will let the masses decide who this represents lol 

[irishlady1970]

I decided to look through the Debate and Discuss forums and noticed that numerous posts have been locked. I was wondering why that was so, and upon reading a few topics I found the answer. Why is there so much drama up here in the Debate and Discuss forum? I am just curious, ok I admit it, I'm nosey LOL. I also want to add that I do enjoy reading what everyone has to say and do find many people's posts inciteful. Some of the posts make me sit back and think more at a deeper level. Thank you all for your wonderful posts and keep them coming. 

[Alyia72]

Some people are like this cartoon. I will let the masses decide who this represents lol 

lol...


The problem with online conversation is its really hard to judge how a post is meant as there is no emotion showed with it.  One person might read it and think oh there mad...and the next might totally take it another way because you cant see the emotions of the speaker (or typist in this case).  Which is why sometimes you just have to take what someone says with a grain of salt.  Have I seen or thought what I was seeing was people being downright mean to another sure..did a lot of the times it appear as if the person had provoked absolutely.  Sometimes in heated discussions we let our tempers get the best of us.  None of us are perfect, I cant speak for others but I wouldn't say anything to someone online that I wouldn't say to their face.

You should not have to be careful with what you say. We are all suppose to be adults.

This doesn't give you the right to torture someone to no end.

Who's been tortured and by whom?

Is a persons online personna really different than how they would be in RL with the same person or situation?

Try speaking to people outside the forum like how you do and I can bet you 9 times out of 10 you will be punched.

This is a good example of what I am saying how can you tell how someones speaking to you? You cant hear there tone, you cant see there expressions if there angry or confused or frustrated... Perhaps its how your perceiving what people are saying by not reading the whole post rather than trying to see both sides?

[amyrouse]

Quote from jordandog

I am no different on this forum, or any other one I am on, than I would be in real life.

Jordan, you have shown me nothing but respect and despite the fact that we have very different opinions about things I am very fond of you and enjoy your posts immensely! 

I believe you are the same here that you are in life. Not perfect, but a genuine person 

I concur...although, Jordan and I really don't disagree that often...lol.  But, I have seen quite a few people here on D&D that I believe I could be RL friends with, regardless of how we agree or disagree.  I tend to be similar in RL to what I am on the forum, except I tend to be quieter in RL.  I usually sit back and take everything in before I open my mouth...and that probably would have come in handy when I started posting here.  I know I stepped on a few toes when I began posting.