A touchy subject

[shernajwine]

Breast touching

Babies thrive on touch. As they grow to imitate the actions and emotions they witness from their parents, they will learn to use touch to express comfort and affection. This innocent gesture becomes a controversy when Mother's *bleep* are involved.

 When coming into the world, we are not equipped with the knowledge of "right and wrong."

"Touching the breast is the same as touching a nose, arm or belly button. And yet, there is an important difference. That breast is the source of food and comfort -- proof to the bewildered newborn that Mom is still there for him. So in that sense, patting the breast is a little like patting a beloved pet! Some babies naturally 'knead' the breast -- much as newborn kittens will do to mama cat. In addition to a comforting touch, this may very well stimulate the milk flow."
http://www.breastfeed.com/articles/breastfeeding-basics/a-touchy-subject-3271/3/
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My 19 month old AND my 3 year old still pat my *bleep* or rest their hand on them while sitting on my lap. I don't think anything of it. I think it's ridiculous that a mother would have to feel uncomfortable in public about their child doing this when the gesture is clearly NOT  sexual. People need to grow up! IMO

[jordandog]

I agree with you. I breastfed all 3 of my sons and when they were at ages like your's, they did the same thing and I thought nothing of it either. I guess a sense of comfort between a child and it's parent is something some people just don't get.

[jordandog]

I think there is a certain age that you would have to smack your kids hand away...I mean like if your kid is 4 and up.

I don't think I would ever go with the "smack your kids hand away" because then it is setting them up for mixed perceptions about shame and the human body. I would remove it and then get them to hold my hand or rest their hand on my arm. Then just continue to do the same thing if they did it again and it would become a habit. You don't 'smack' a child's hand without telling them why and at that young of an age, lengthy explanations about things they know nothing of is just confusing for them and pointless. That's my opinion on it anyway.

[Annella]

I think there is a certain age that you would have to smack your kids hand away...I mean like if your kid is 4 and up.

I don't think I would ever go with the "smack your kids hand away" because then it is setting them up for mixed perceptions about shame and the human body. I would remove it and then get them to hold my hand or rest their hand on my arm. Then just continue to do the same thing if they did it again and it would become a habit. You don't 'smack' a child's hand without telling them why and at that young of an age, lengthy explanations about things they know nothing of is just confusing for them and pointless. That's my opinion on it anyway.

You can give their hand a little "tap", and just say no, that's mommas now......that's what I did.....solved.

[shernajwine]

I don't even notice half the time. The only time it's bothersome is when they try to stick their hands IN my shirt. But they rarely do that in public. My son will come up sometimes and squeeze em for no reason and I just give him "the look" and he pulls his hand away and giggles. I just give him a hug and send him on his way.

Now if he was 12 acting like that, THEN there would be something to be concerned about. Kids grow out of that kind of thing naturally, I don't see any reason to make a big deal out it.

[amyrouse]

I never breastfed my daughter, and she rests her head and even puts her hand on me (although I put a stop to it if her hand starts to roam.  I know she's just exploring and questioning her surroundings, but when Mommy gets uncomfortable, it stops.  I feel this is a good rule of thumb.).  There is nothing wrong with it.  I have been closer to my daughter than I have been to anyone else in my life, except for my mother.  People make me   .  Of all the people in the world, who gets the most unsolicited advice?  Mothers.  Who gets the most comments and personal questions (oh, you look about to pop!  you look tired!  what color is your child's poop?)?  

We are concerned with raising our children to be good human beings and doing things the right way, yet, if you looked at it honestly...all the advice and comments and etc make it look like we're doing it wrong.  Mother knows best; everyone else needs to STFU...unless asked, and then only respond to the question that's been asked.

I believe that even if you have a baker's dozen worth of children, you are still lost with raising each one.  There is no formula for proper baby rearing.  And some people need to just keep their mouths shut.  There is no shame in being close to your child.  There is a line that needs to be drawn, but breast touching does not equate sexual abuse.

The only time it's bothersome is when they try to stick their hands IN my shirt.

My daughter does this.  She is so little and innocent, though, that I can only see it as an expression of her comfort with me, like when she grabs my arm and hugs it to her, or reaches out for me when she's uncomfortable. 

[AmyTrivitt]

I breast feed both of my girls. My daughters still rest their heads against my *bleep*. Its a bonding experience that only a mother and a child share. In no way do I feel uncomfortable. Nor should I. If I feel uncomfortable with it then what message would that be sending to my children?

[Annella]

I don't even notice half the time. The only time it's bothersome is when they try to stick their hands IN my shirt. But they rarely do that in public. My son will come up sometimes and squeeze em for no reason and I just give him "the look" and he pulls his hand away and giggles. I just give him a hug and send him on his way.

Now if he was 12 acting like that, THEN there would be something to be concerned about. Kids grow out of that kind of thing naturally, I don't see any reason to make a big deal out it.

I breast fed, until my milk was not norishing to my son, and he wasn't sleeping through the night.  This made me feel a little sad.....lol

My son had a habit of unbuttoning my blouse as I was holding him.  I'd be happlily shopping along and look down, only to find I was "OPEN" for all the world to see.  Or I'd be talking to someone as I'm holding him and he'd do it.  He was very good at it, as very seldom I felt him do it.  He probably should have been a safe cracker....lol

That's when the "tapping" came in.  It would be just my luck to get arrested for indecent exposure.  I remember having my son......both of us in the rocking chair for hours just singing or rocking away.  Those times are so fleeting.  He's going to be 42 Sept. 1st., and he's still my baby boy, no matter how old he gets.

[amyrouse]

He's going to be 42 Sept. 1st., and he's still my baby boy, no matter how old he gets.

That is my father in law's birthday!  He'll be 50.  And my daughter was born on September 16, 2008.  Its strange the way things work out sometimes.  She was born exactly two years after we buried my brother, I went into labor exactly two years after he died, and my nephew was born 8 hours before my same brother's birthday.

Children are miracles, and anyone that can see anything perverse needs help, IMO.