I need advice

[ButterflyWings]

You need to be straightforth no beating around the bushes, tell her you love her, and respect her as a friend in your life, you don't want to lose that, but the other stuff has to stop. You do not want to hear what is going on around you, you will be her friend, if she keeps it just that. Tell her that is the way we can be friends, she will then either accept it or reject it, and if she rejects it, you got to let it go and forgive her, she may realize her mistake and realize what you said at a later time, after thinking it over then come back to you.

Been there done that we did not talk for a year..she knows how I feel and really does not care..

[Cuppycake]

You need to be straightforth no beating around the bushes, tell her you love her, and respect her as a friend in your life, you don't want to lose that, but the other stuff has to stop. You do not want to hear what is going on around you, you will be her friend, if she keeps it just that. Tell her that is the way we can be friends, she will then either accept it or reject it, and if she rejects it, you got to let it go and forgive her, she may realize her mistake and realize what you said at a later time, after thinking it over then come back to you.

Been there done that we did not talk for a year..she knows how I feel and really does not care..

I think you have your answer. Look as the Flylady says "If you don't need it love it or use it lose it." she is speaking of clutter in your home but you can apply this to every single aspect of your life.

[amyrouse]

You've already gone through a whole slew of advice...so I guess you need mine as well 

I was roommates in college with one of my best friends from high school...bad bad baaaad idea.  Before the freshman fall semester was out, we weren't talking anymore, and I claimed I was done.  In the spring of my junior year of college she tracked me down and called me, and I figured, hey why not, I wasn't living with the b*tch anymore, we could be casual acquaintances.  This continued for six years.  Until the week before my daughter's first birthday.  To make a long story short, she claimed she had swine flu, had just been around my daughter within the last few days before she made this claim, yet refused to discuss how the ER came to this diagnosis and proceeded to tell me if I was worried I should take my infant in to have her tested.  Her reason was "well, usually when babies are sick they cry, so your child must be ok."  Needless to say, I cut her off again. 

The important thing, I guess, is whether or not your friendship is worth the hassle.  People do change, but often they keep a fraction of whatever it was that made you end the friendship in the first place.  The hard part is determining whether you can deal with that, or whether you'd rather move on.  My child did not have swine flu (because the b*tch didn't really have swine flu; she had some kind of gastrointestinal upset and lied about the diagnosis to throw a pity party), but that doesn't make what happened something I am willing to move past.  There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting.  I hope you come to the right choice for you without regards to anyone (including us geniuses here on ye olde internet) say about it.  Good luck.

[girlswin2]

I think you kind of know what its time to do but you don't want to admit it to yourself.  When something causes you this much stress then its time to go with your gut feeling and stop it before it goes any further.  People like that will only keep causing you grief and keep taking and taking without reguard for you or your feelings.  They aren't really your friend if you think about it.  Your the friend she is the leach that keeps sucking the life out of you.  Drop her before its to late.  Your too good hearted to keep this going in your life.  Give your friendship to someone who deserves it.  Good luck. 

[ButterflyWings]

Thanks all so much..Yeah over the last three days she has called me like a stalker.
Ignored all I have said.Brought the past over and over..And came right out and said she is selfish so I have to deal..
I asked her to either respect me to keep the friendship or just go away again..
What I got from that was a realization that I am a good person and I cannot save and be their for everyone..It sad to think she could care less about me and throughout our friendship I cared to much..I deserve better.I know now it was me being lonely and miss the close friendship I had..you have all helped me feel right with what I knew and felt..I appreciate it greatly.

[imranmak]

Okay I am really stuck..But I really need outside advice. K here it goes ugh..
I stepped away from a friend who was not a good friend to me we are talking needy and selfish..We stopped talking cause it got to bad for my heart to handle.
it has been a year and I think of her a lot ( i care to much one of my many faults) So the other day she calls me out of the blue..Not thinking I pick up and talk to her.The conversation was pleasant and I was happy to hear from her..But then she called back like insanely over the next few days.And half *bleep* apologized for her actions in our friendship I say half *bleep* cause she pointed out how people thought I was a *bleep*..

So enough babbling I miss her and hate the thought of never talking again but at the same time I do not want to be the person in the end hurting for a person who may not give two shits about me and only cares about herself..So I need help how would you handle this without letting yourself get hurt or end up feeling like you opened a door to a friendship from hell??

[TVALLO]

if you want to stay her friend you do and understand that she will always be that way.  You can also tell her this is how she makes you feel, and from this point on if she wants to continue this friendship she can do it on line through email but you are done dealing with her attitude and selfish behavior on the phone and in person.  When she says things like people think your a **tch, tell her are you hinting that you are one cause if not gossip is stupid and she shouldnt spread it. 

[lighthouse68]

I would say leave the past in the past. If she doesn't like it or respect what you say, tell her bye bye. True friend let things go and don't dwell in the past.

[mgarmstrong]

Do what is best for you.  If you want to talk to her, go ahead.  If she is getting to be too much, screen your calls.

[apples45]

It seems from your post that your friend gave you a back handed apology, and that they may not truly be sorry, especially if they have given a half apology with a back handed insult. also it seems as though you are still quite annoyed by your friends actions, and if your still annoyed or hurt by there behavior it might not be such a good idea to jump back into a friendship with that person.

I understand that you miss your friend, but until they truly acknowledge there behavior was wrong its not worth the risk of getting hurt agin. I would just make myself less and less available to them and move on because a real friend would say there sorry from the heart and not repeat what someone else said especially if they called you the B word. just my advice and opinion based on your post, and of course you must do what feels right in your heart. 

[ace5960]

Just continue and act in a way that does not hurt either party 

[debraleesparks]

  Be nice, but don't be surprised if she goes weird on you again.

[denaw1337]

i would just let her be..trust me people never change...u will find a new friend that will stick with you threw anything and not be all about herself....

[catherine1will]

Talking is better let her know obout how you really fell