talking to ex's

[Storm61115]

me and my man constantly fight about him talking to his pshyco ex. i dont want him talking to her but he doesnt seem to get it through it stupid head. i see him talking to her on facebook and aim all the time. i scream at him all the time and we fight again and again. i seen him talking to her again today and i didnt say nething but i talked to my ex too. i really dont have a reason to continue to talk to my ex but i do coz if he insists on talking to her still.. for what reason?..u got me. I DONT WANT HIM TALKING TO HER!! i dont know what to do. i cant dump him coz that would mean i would have to move and find somewhere else to live and i love him and we plan on gettin married. i want to block her from talking to him but he will know. coz i deleted her from his aim friends list but we had a huge fight about it after he found out and he put it back on his list. i dont get it..I DONT GET IT AT ALL!! WTF 2DO!! im so mad!!!

[dreamyxo]

How old are you guys?  You seem really young.  He's going to do what he's going to do.   Try as hard as you might but you can't change another person.  You've told him you are upset that he talks to his ex and he still does it.  Maybe he doesn't respect you or your relationship enough to want to stop.  He's getting something out of talking to the ex otherwise he wouldn't be doing it.  Screaming and fighting isn't getting you anywhere since he's still doing it. 

i cant dump him coz that would mean i would have to move and find somewhere else to live and i love him and we plan on gettin married

   I'd think twice about marrying someone that refuses to respect your feelings.  Playing tit for tat (you also talking to your ex) isn't very mature either. 

[lynnc35]

Oh sweetie, you know where this is going, but you don't want to admit it, I know exactly what is is. the guy cannot let her go, he wants you and her too. I know you are worried about a place to live, but playing mind games, this is only going to get you hurt, I know you are trying to make him see how it feels to see you talkin to your ex, but it don't work like that, he will only think it is not okay for you to do it, but okay for him, I have been down this avenue, a long and I do mean long time ago. I finally let this relationship go. It is going no where, but hurting you, he will not stop, and probably woudl cheat if he hasn't already in a heartbeat, save yourself some time and trouble, and start making plans to secure your heart and your home.

[kenifermarie]

HAVE HIM CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU AND HIS EX IF THEY DON'T HAVE KIDS TOGETHER THEY DON'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING

[muush88]

" i cant dump him coz that would mean i would have to move and find somewhere else to live"   I think your more worried about this than you are about anything else. If he is talking to his ex and your talking to your ex. Obviously you both want your ex's back. And this relationship your in now from what you say  isnt gonna get better with marriage

[turbidblue]

Hey Storm!
   I've been there! And i agree with several others here....you can't change your boyfriend's behavior. he is going to do what he's going to do. With that said.....you need to take a deep breath and really think about your relationship. 'Getting back at him' by talking to your ex will get you no where......you're just being childish. You need to take the higher road and just let him know calmly that it hurts you for him to still be involved with his ex. if he can't respect your feelings....it may be time to move on. Remember to respect yourself first....that was one of the hardest lessons I eve had to learn. 

~B

[smokeejo]

my husband talks to his exes all the time, and hangs out with them. if you trust him then it shouldnt matter.

[abstract1er]

not a good idea kenifermarie, i agree with you 100 percent!!!

[InkdMomma]

Maybe you guys just arent meant to be together? I mean if you guys still both talk to your ex's.
Maybe move on and find someone new. Someone who wont make you think about the past.
I had a boyfriend like that before and thats what I did and then I met my husband and I couldnt be any happier =]

[moonangel]

you mentioned marriage  umm this is the way he will behave for years to come you need to decide if this is a behavior you can live with for a very long time

[Cuppycake]

Perhaps approach  him about it a different way? I mean are you over reacting? Step back and think about it before talking to him about it again. Ask yourself do you have a reason to distrust him? Do you think he is cheating on you ? Maybe they are just friends and you are blowing it out of proportion ? If you DO think he is just being a lying, cheating, jerk that doesn't care about your feelings certainly do NOT marry him ....

[wildfyre]

How old are you guys?  You seem really young.  He's going to do what he's going to do.   Try as hard as you might but you can't change another person.  You've told him you are upset that he talks to his ex and he still does it.  Maybe he doesn't respect you or your relationship enough to want to stop.  He's getting something out of talking to the ex otherwise he wouldn't be doing it.  Screaming and fighting isn't getting you anywhere since he's still doing it. 

i cant dump him coz that would mean i would have to move and find somewhere else to live and i love him and we plan on gettin married

   I'd think twice about marrying someone that refuses to respect your feelings.  Playing tit for tat (you also talking to your ex) isn't very mature either. 

 that hits it right on the head and yep tit for tat

[GoGoKokiGo]

I don't talk to my exes...I made sure to burn that bridge down to the ground before I left.
Anywho, instead of fighting about it...try talking instead of yelling. That's usually a better way to get your point across. Let him know why you don't want him to talk to her. Find out why he insists on talking to her still and get it all sorted out.

[trujillo33]

Talk to him without yelling and if he does continue to talk to his ex dump his *bleep*!!! I use to talk to my ex because we could talk about anything; he use to say that he still love me and said a lot of nice things. Talking to my ex was easier, had no problems unlike some situation with my current bf. However, i stop talking to my ex and i am happey with my bf!!

[AmyTrivitt]

My opinion is if you have told him how you feel about him talking to hes ex and he does not listen or just doesn't care, then honey hes not the one. Unless he has a good argument as with "we have a child together I have to talk to her for the kids sake". I mean yes a simple HI when you see an ex is sufficient but to be online chatting away to them, WHY what for, unless perhaps they are not over one another. I would not go to hes level and do the same just because he is, that makes no sense. Two wrongs do not make a right!! It seems to me that both of you do not care about the other to even be together. And if I were you I would reevaluate this marriage idea you have in your head. Good luck!!